The War of the Earring

The BBQ Pit
1

In this thread, I described how I took the eldest Minimarli down and got his ear pierced for his 13th birthday. This occurred on the 21st. On the 27th, the boy headed south to spend a few days with his father. The boy returned home sans earring.

“Where’s your earring?” I asked, although I figured I already had a pretty good idea what happened.

“Dad thought it looked ‘queer-y’ so he told Grandpa to take it out.”

“What the hell does ‘queer-y’ mean?” I demanded.

“Gay. Whatever,” said the boy.

“That’s the dumbest damn thing I’ve ever heard in my life, and don’t ever let me catch you using that word like that again.”

“I didn’t say it, they did!”

“Did you want it taken out?”

“No, but they said it was in the wrong ear and we were going to a family dinner and there was going to be a gay guy there and they didn’t want him to think I’m gay.”

:confused: :smack: :rolleyes: :mad:

I’m going to gloss over what occurred next; it’s kind of a blur to me, but it involved my husband emerging from the computer room to find out what I was yelling about and me punching the buttons on the phone so hard I knocked it right out of my own hand while my son looked on with that indulgent expression he wears when Mom goes postal.

“He knew you’d be mad,” he said. Which explains why the cowardly son of a bitch hasn’t answered his phone now for almost a week.

So, to make a long story short (chorus: Too late!), since the hole had closed up I took the boy back down to Wally World and, at his request, got his ear DOUBLE pierced. If the Dink wants to mess with it again we’re going for three. And God help him when he finally works up the balls to start answering his phone again, because I’ve got some fury that’s been percolating for a week now and while I’ve always been on good terms with the ridiculous little shitwit, that’s about to change. He’s definitely overstepped himself this time. And he owes me sixteen bucks for the re-piercing.

2

Would this be a bad place to say that I think earrings on men (or boys) look awful?

3

A 13 year-old boy getting his ear pierced? That’s just wrong.

4

DO keep us updated. I don’t suppose he has any gold teeth? If he does, you can extract them and melt them down for the new earring.

5

Care to elaborate on this?

As for the OP, I’d be furious, too. I had my ear pierced when I was 12, and I took it out only to conform to dress code policy at work when I turned 15. Got my next 3 piercings within a year after my 18th birthday.

Good luck with the jackass father.

6

I was 9 years old when I got my ears peirced. By your standards “that’s just wrong.” Unless it’s the gender of the person getting pierced that you are taking issue with? In my opinion, he’s old enough to make cosmetic decisions like that. As long as he cleans it, and remembers to take it out for sports etc. If girls can take care of a piercing at that age, then a boy can too. There are many girls who get their ears pierced even younger than that.

I’ve even seen baby girls, not even old enough to walk, with their ears pierced. Now THAT is going to far IMO.

7

Call me a traditionalist, but I see no good reason that boys, much less 13 year old boys, should be getting piercings. It is an unnecessary vanity that makes the kid look like a little wanna-be punk. It’s a different story with girls, but you wouldn’t let you son run around in a dress, would you?

But, this being the 21st century, I suppose that it is uncool to tell a kid ‘no’.

8

He’s been asking for an earring since he was about 11, but I thought that was too young for him to take care of it. Now he’s 13 and showing an interest in things like, oh, basic hygiene, I was more than happy to give this to him for his birthday. I think that’s what pisses me off most; this was my birthday present to the boy, and due to an insane budget crisis we’re going through, I had to scrape to come up with the dough just for that. Yet dick for brains presumptuously decided that HE and HIS FATHER didn’t like it, so it was coming out; to hell with my wishes and to hell with my birthday present.

As far as I’m concerned the boy can stick a row of safety pins up both ears and dye his hair green, as long as he continues to behave like a civilized human being. He’s experimenting with different looks, and more power to him; it’s just a shame his father the moron can’t respect that.

On preview: Brutus, so it’s an unneccessary vanity, so what? And yes, I would let him run around in a dress, as long as it’s sufficiently modest. Even though it is the 21st century, I’m uncool with a teenager showing too much skin.

9

OK, if it’s so bad for 13 y/o boys, how about for 71 y/o men?

A former neighbor and long-time family friend decided to get his ear pierced last year. He wears a fairly large diamond stud in it. Cracks me up, but it doesn’t surprise me. This guy has pretty much done whatever he wanted all his life. His wife just shakes her head and lets him enjoy himself.

In the grand scheme of things, ear-piercings qualify as non-issues. I’m not too keen on other piercings, but as long as I don’t have to poke holes in my skin, I don’t much care what others do.

Sounds to me like the boy’s father has issues…

10

Yeah, God forbid his father should have any say in anything.

11

Oh, and green hair and safety pins through the ears are generally seen as uncivilized behavior by many people.

12

Am I out of line for wondering whether the OP using the multiple piercing of her son’s ears as way of getting back at the ex is a little disturbing?

Sure, the double piercing was “at his request”… but the guy’s only 13. I shudder at the thought of a triple piercing, should the others be removed. The guy’s going to look like a pincushion.

Personally I have two holes in my left earlobe and one in the right, but it was a decision I made when I reached the age of majority and was aware of the potential future consequences, minor though they have been.

13

Uncivilized? Why? People have always colored their hair and stuck things through their ears, and I suspect always will. There’s nothing natural about the color of my hair, but it’s marketed as a perfectly suitable haircolor. I have semi-precious stones in my ears, which seems far more primitive and less sophisticated than a safety-pin (it’s often quite useful to have a safety pin about one’s person).

14

I used to have purple and green hair and I was one of the most tame, bland people around. (OK, not really “bland,” but “harmless” would probably do.) The thing was, I was an adult. I may dye my hair green and purple again. But once again, I’m an adult.

I think things like ear piercings and purple hair are not high on the list on “uncivilized” things, as long as one’s behavior is civilized. And after all, the hair dye will wash out, the ears will heal. Big whoop. Piercings in other parts of the body may get a little more iffy, but they too, will heal. Tattoos are much more difficult to remove if you have a change of heart. Not that I am anti-tattoo, but that’s just a fact.

Anyway, getting away from that ramble, this kid is 13 which seems kind of young. But, if the school that he attends doesn’t have a problem with it, he’s otherwise a good kid, then I don’t think it’s a huge deal. The dad having a problem with it is an issue, but if dad has a problem with it he should take it up with mom before forcing the kid to remove the earring. The way he went about it was completely gutless, in my opinion.

15

That’s pretty much my line of thinking.

16

Yeah, safety pins aren’t too safe though, unless they are surgical steel earrings designed to look like safety pins. Safety pins AFAIK, are sometimes made of nickel, which is a BAD thing to put in a piercing, it could cause an allergy.

Watch out for his earrings mom, sometimes they are nickel core btw. People have gone into anaphylatic shock from nickel allergies, and come close to death, if not died. I read a report many moons ago about a person who developed it by wearing nickel in their piercings, and then the button on their jeans caused them to go into shock.

In any case, Brutus, I would indeed let my son (if he were living) wear a dress, if he came to me wanting to. Boys want to experiment too, and who am I to limit a child’s self discovery and self expression? That’s not a parent’s place. A parent’s place is to teach their offspring how to survive, and be true to themselves, as well as “be honorable” to others, basically law abiding citizens who know themselves well, and accept themselves warts, “beauty marks” and all. A dress is not going to cause the male organ to shrivel up and fall off if it’s on a male frame, any more than trousers on a female frame will cause gonads to sprout between the female’s legs.

17

Perhaps not, but I wouldn’t want him to walk around in public wearing a dress.

18

Did he initially want two piercings, or did he want them only because you did?

19

I think maybe you and your ex-husband need to sit down with an unbiased mediator, (could be a friend, minister, etc. just someone you both trust) with your son, so he (your ex-husband) can see that this is something that his child wants, and come to terms with it peacefully, before the situation expands any more. Don’t you think maybe that’s a bit better way to solve the problem? Outright warfare is a bit extreme, and could cause a rift between both parents and child. :frowning:

20

I’ve had sole custody of this boy since he was born, with no child support forthcoming from Dinkboy; so, yeah, he has very little say. In minor matters, anyway. In major matters, i.e. when the boy was having trouble in school and his teachers wanted us to have him tested for learning disabilities, Dink’s input was requested and appreciated.

And you and I apparently have different ideas of what constitutes uncivilized behavior. I want him to be polite, thoughtful, inquisitive, and happy, all of which he can be no matter what color his hair is or how many holes he has added to his head. Hair grows out and piercings can be removed, and frankly there’s a million more important issues to worry about than a 13 year old’s fashion sense.

jjim, I was kidding about the triple piercing bit. I think I left out the most outrageous bit of this story: My son told me that his father said that while he didn’t much care for earrings on guys, he would leave them alone as long as they’re in the left ear, because if they’re in the right ear it means he’s gay. I wonder what he would have done if my son had gone ahead with his original plan to get BOTH ears pierced (he would have done, only he had a nasty zit on his left earlobe the first time around).

As I related in the other thread, I had already spoken to Dink about the earring before the boy went for his visit, and he had agreed to leave it alone. Until he found out we pierced the “gay” ear, apparently. :rolleyes:

(On preview) Oh, I’ll be very polite when the chickenshit finally answers the phone. While we’ve drifted apart (way, WAY apart) in the last dozen years I’ve known him since I was 13 and we were good enough friends that each can tell the other about him/herself without causing a major rift.

Lord Ashtar, the double piercing was all his idea. I think he wanted a double piercing the first time around, but didn’t realize that I had to buy the pair of earrings regardless; he thought I’d have to pay extra for two holes.