The worst song I have ever heard was “21 and legal” by Cyrus Sullivan. It never made radio (thank God) but I got it off the net. Jesus, it was awful. I don’t see how this guy can keep a straight face when he is promoting it on his website. I feel sorry for all of the family and friends he must be pissing off by making them listen to it.
On another note, I once called a radio station and requested them NOT to play “Don’t Call Me Daughter” by Pearl Jam, then a few years later “American Woman” by Lenny Kravitz…Simply because they played those friggin’ songs WAY too much.
You don’t like what I say? You don’t like what someone else says? Get over it.
Aaah, Ronnie James Padavona - definitely there in the ‘so bad it’s good’ category. How about some of his other hits ‘Rock and Roll Children’ and ‘Dream Evil’. Wow. Memories. [Aside]If you’re reading this, Andy, hi![/Aside]
No, the worst song every is I Smoke Some Grass (Really, Really High by Ween, which is 7:45 of the title being repeated over and over, deadpan, with ‘nothing’ music underneath it. The CD single it’s on (Push The Little Daisies, with 3 almost identical versions of the title song as well as this opus) is the most excruciating piece of plastic I’ve ever owned, and is the Metal Machine Music of the 90’s.
To quote Tom Lehrer talking about one of his own records, play it on 78rpm so you get through it quicker :).
So far two nominees are actually in my collection and get regular if infrequent playing: 4 Non Blondes “What’s Going On” and “Galveston” by Glen Campbell. Does that make me pathetic or what? :o
My own personal nominations:
River of Dreams by Billy Joel (At the end of of my career, I go walking in my sleep… bleh.) And I actually like some B. Joel. Talk about crappy songs sold entirely because of the artists past rep.
Or the alternative:
Honey by Mariah Carey. The woman screeches shithouse lyrics across 10 octaves.
Sorry, doesn’t qualify – it’s a novelty song, a parody of the “death rock” genre. If sung as the songwriter intended, it can reduce a room to gales of helpless laughter. People used to beg me to sing it at parties.(Key: Drag out the line “I’ll never kiss your lips again.” then sing the next line – “They buried you today” in a bright and breezy manner.)
I’d choose “Coward of the County” by Kenny Rogers (who has a long list of wretched songs. However, the sentiment of this one – “Sometimes you have to fight to be a man” – is despicable. Even country music fans hate this piece of excrement.
And if you think “Macarthur Park” is bad, you never heard “Rosecrans Boulevard” by the same songwriter, Jim Webb. At least “Macarthur Park” rhymed. . . .
Wow - Seasons in the Sun is so hard to beat, but here goes: Ebony and Ivory by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder (I was tempted to go with the Oscar-winning excrescence of “I Just Called to Say I Love You” by Stevie Wonder, but Ebony and Ivory has the added bonus of Beatle-badness along with Stevie-Wonder’s-evil-twin badness…)
Top that - two entirely respectable musicians producing kill-me-now crap music. Sure, other stuff on the list is bad, but none came artists like these to rock-music royalty types of this caliber!
My Sharona, everytime I hear this song I’m looking around for someone to kill. Apparently fate thought it was pretty funny one year to put somebody above my apartment that loved to play this full blast at 2am.
I love you
Always forever
Near and far
blah blah blah
It comes on every morning when my alarm goes off…I almost kill myself trying to get to the radio to shut it off…and then it’s in my head for the rest of the day and I find myself singing it outloud and then the self loathing begins.
There was a song in the early 80’s (natch) called “I’ve Never Been to Me” that was caterwauled by a woman whose name escapes me now (may be a self-defense mechanism).
Incredibly stupid lyrics alternately spoken/screeched over an annoying plinking piano sound.