Well, I’m a diehard Pearl Jam fan, who loves Lass Kiss, but I gotta admit the worst song in the world is unfortunately “Bugs” from their Vitalogy album.
Now, if that isn’t an example of “how bad can we make this song…” I don’t know what is…
Break My Stride by Matthew Wilder. To wit:
Last night I had this strangest dream
I sailed away to China, in a little rowboat to find ya
And you said you had to get your laundry cleaned
Didn’t want no one to hold you, what does that mean? And you said
They’re never gonna break my stride
Nobody’s gonna slow me down, oh no
I got to keep on moving
They’re never gonna break my stride
I’m running in a one touch ground, oh no
I got to keep on moving…
Higher Love by Steve Windwood.
First post as my new identity.
My nominees are:
- “Your Song” by Elton John. The lyrics are like the notes for a song. It’s like the blueprint of how a song written for someone is supposed to work.
“And you can tell everybody
This is your song…”
“I hope you don’t mind
I hope you don’t mind
That I put down in words
How wonderful life is
When you’re in the world”
Well, you DIDN’T put it down in words. You just sort of mentioned it as an afterthought. The song is really about the fact that you wrote a song “Look here! I’m writing a song for you! Give me a blow job!” If you really loved her/him, you would have written a song about her/him, perhaps recounting some of the fun moments you’ve had together, or mentioning some of his/her favorite things. But as it is, the song just talks about how clever you are because you wrote a damn song about writing a song!
- “Cat’s in the Cradle” by Harry Chapin.
The dad’s a jerk, the kid’s a jerk, too, the songwriter’s annoying, what the hell does that damn nursery rhyme have to do with anything, and why do so many people like it so much that it’s been on the radio for over 20 years?
“Swinging’” by John Anderson with honorable mention to “Elvira” by the Oak Ridge Boys.
Can I hold a grudge or what?
You folks are killing me.
Thanks for the laughs.
Here’s an Honorable Mention:
You’re so vain
You probably think
this song is about you…
“We Built This City (on Rock 'N Roll)” by Starship.
Annoying, bombastic, repetitious and ass-backwards, to boot. Rock music doesn’t build cities; cities build rock arenas! But I’ve never paid close attention to the lyrics anyway.
Alanis Morissette’s “Unsent”, from Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie. She co-wrote this song. Whomever was writing this with her must not have enough spine to say, “Don’t you realize what tripe this is?” And I hear she’s writing her next album all by herself. God help us.
I kinda like some of her stuff, too. Just kinda.
“Feel the Heat” by Dirk Diggler and Reed Rothchild.
So weird…I adore many of the songs in this thread, especially Good Morning Starshine, Pour Some Sugar On Me, and I Know What Boys Like. Frankly there isn’t one here that I can ‘me, too.’ I need to raise my standards.
For the love of Pete, GMS is one of my favorite road trippy songs of all time. Watch the movie Hair. You can’t be more free than those kids riding cross-country in the ragtop. PSSOM is always a show stopper at a karaoke bar. Try it, you’ll see.
But I must find just one that I hate. Ok, got it: God Bless America. What a crapulent hymn. Your ASS is white with foam. Please let’s do America the Beautiful instead?
I like that song. But anyway, the worst song, hum. . .I would have to say “Pop” by N’SYNC or anything by them. Oh yeah, and “Life Is Good” by LFO.
Oops! I almost forgot, “Oops, I did it again” by Britney Spears.
C’mon man, that’s an American classic!!! 
Along with “The Touch”
*You’ve got the touch
You’ve got the power
etc, etc *
Frighteningly, “Feel the Heat” is on the soundtrack
I have to second “In the Year 2525” followed closely by “I’m Henry the Eighth I Am”, by Herman’s Hermits.
Keith
Help me out here folks. I have two winners in this contest.
One is Papa Don’t Preach by ? It may have been Madonna? I hate that song! Whiny bitch wants her dad to support her, but doesn’t want to hear his opnions on her pregnancy.
The other song is by George Michael(I think) but I don’t know the title for sure. Some of the lyrics are “and now you tell me that you’re having my baby/I’ll tell you that I’m happy if you want me to/I’m not even sure I love you.”
Then why the heck was he having sex with her? Doesn’t he know what might happen? Hey, if you’re going to bed with someone, at least have a little affection!
Nooooo!!! Steve Winwood kicks ass!!(In my oh so humble opinion.)
I’m gonna have to vote for “Islands In the Stream”. Either version will do - Bee Gees or Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers - I’m not picky.
Also “I love the Nightlife” by Alicia Bridges. Bleech!
Lastly, (and I think that no one will argue about this one:D) - “Hit Me Baby One More Time” by Britney Spears is the worst song ever recorded.
You’re right, I do agree.
Um… I think that was the whole point of the song, right? That’s kind of like asking why Carly Simon keeps singing about this guy in You’re So Vain if the song isn’t about him.
Anyway, Good Morning Sunshine is a damn fine choice, as is What’s Going On? (which is like a root canal delivered via audio).
If novelty songs aren’t allowed, then I guess I can’t nominate Who Let the Dogs Out?
So my pick is Oh, Yoko by John Lennon.
Someone once said that the real appeal of this song is the the lovely image in the refrain, namely that of Billy Ray Cyrus’ heart exploding in his chest.
The only thing that saves this song on my list is the few lines sung by Grace Slick.
I believe that is disqualfied under the “no-novelty songs” rule.