The worst television shows of all time.

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

There are several television shows that live in infamy for being known as completely awful. I have rated them in order down to the worst.

  1. Full House (imagine that it is not even the worst.)
  2. Harry and the Hendersons (People hiding a ten foot smelly sasquatch in their homes would probably be thought of as serial killers from the smell alone.)
  3. Sweet Valley High (Cheap ripoff of Saved by the Bell. ***)
  4. Out Of This World (The half alien girl has her father living in a crystal box. She can do some magical things but no one on the show has any talent. The entire cast must have been sleeping with a television studio. The premise had promise (how’s that for alliteration) but the lack of any type of talent made this show completely awful.)
  5. Small Wonder (This is by far the worst case of any talentless television show ever. The premise sucked. I.E. A little girl is supposed to be an android, and only the annoying, utterly irritating, worthless little bitch trolls who live next door know this fact (other than Vicki’s parents who made her). The total lack of acting ability puts even the worst infomercial to shame. Also, at least on Out of this World, the characters were reasonably attractive. It also used the overused situation comedy. For example, a family with a secret has a bunch of nosy, wacky niehgbors. <BLECH!> Can you say ALF?! Or one of hundreds of shows that are out there like that.

Are there any other shows that you could add to this list, or even usurp my top 5?

SC

*** Saved by the Bell is still in the top ten worst television shows of all time.

#2

Three’s Company
Full House
Sea Quest
Herculese/Xena (same thing)
Anything on the WB
Anything on Sci-Fi Channel (especially with William Shatner)
Anything on USA (especially with Lorenzo Lamas)
Walker, Texas Ranger
Earth 2
Star Trek Voyager
Mad TV
Yeah, Saved By the Bell always sucked

I’m sure I’ll think of more as the thread develops.

#3

You have not even begun to dip into the awfulness

Fish Police - an animated prime time show with fish as police… nothing but fish puns all the way through

Brady bunch - i don’t care what anyone says, this show just SUCKED

Diff’rent strokes - I hated everyone on this show

Riptide - crime fighters, speed boats, crime, bad music…

The Master - An old ninja training an american guy to be a ninja… i forget why exactly, but they were always fighting crime

The Fall Guy - Lee Majors as a crime fighting stunt man
Family Matters - nuff said

To deal with men by force is as impractical as to deal with nature by persuasion.

#4

I know what you mean, BurnMeUp. I could sit here all day and list mind-numbingly horrible shows. That’s why I had to list whole networks. But I pretty much agree with you on all those. And I remember that fish/cop show, too! Didn’t last long, fortunately. The sad thing is the horrible shows that last several seasons. How long has Family Matters been running?

#5

Besides those already mentioned:
Hi, Honey, I’m Home. Premise: Sit-com families are real people and are relocated into the real world when their show is canceled.

#6

Full House. The absolute worst. Not a redeeming quality to be found anywhere…

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#7

The trove of bad shows is too vast for even the SDMB I fear, but a couple of quarrels. Its poor form to critisize an entire network. USA has Silk Stalkings a entertining and ocassionally excellent show. Sci-Fi has MST3K and calling it bad in these here parts could get you hurt. Not to mention that they have some syndicated reruns that may be worth watching, and the networks are frequently not involved with the show. I’m not going to even try and rank the bad shows, many (all mentioned here) are so bad that they are valueless and the worst they can do is tie for a rating of 0. One blanket statement is the movie to sit com genre is universally bad with the likes of Clueless, Ferris Beuller.

#8

Hey, I like Beuler. Ben Stein’s biggest film role!

And you’re right, I can’t say those whole networks suck. They just mostly suck. And I can’t believe anyone on the SDMB would actually watch Silk Stalkings. That’s just sad. I usually like your posts, Omni, but Silk Stalkings is Crap!

#9

Hey Kat! Nickelodeon just ran an episode of Hi Honey, I’m Home! Someone who is now a famous singer is in it, but I can’t remember who. Oh boy, did that show ever just suck on toast!

#10

I can’t believe I forgot “The Charmings”. It should rank #3 thus displacing Full House. It was supposed to be the story of Prince Charming and Snow White after they got together, did the nasty, had kids, then miraculously travelled in time to this century. Completely innane if you ask me. I actually made it sound more interesting than it ever had the chance of being.

SC

#11

I aggree with pretty much all of the previously mentioned shows, but there is one horrid show, immensely popular, that isn’t listed:

Gilligan’s Island

And the made-for-TV movies after the fact were even worse!

“The large print givith, and the small print taketh away.”
Tom Waites, “Step Right Up”

#12

Mama’s Family. Makes you want to smack Vicki Laurence in the head.

The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don’t have it.
George Bernard Shaw

#13

Ok, all those are bad, but does anyone else remember an early Fox Network sitcom called “Whoops”? It was about four people who survived nuclear holocaust together and the wacky things that happened to them after the total annihilation of Earth. I used to force my college roommates to watch it because I could believe that someone would give that show the green light for a pilot, much less a prime time slot.

And let’s not mention “Homeboys In Outer Space”…

#14

My first rule – 80% of everything is crap, whether it’s TV shows, movies, music, or customer service from Fortune 500 companies. So this is a BIG target to hit. Let me suggest two categories –

Sequels to once great TV shows (AfterMASH, Gloria, Archie Bunker’s daughter on her own.)

Sitcoms inspired by hot movie comedies (Someone mentioned Clueless? How about 1979, when CBS, NBC and ABC all did sitcoms ripped straight off Animal House.)

#15

silver spoons!
who the hell would enjoy watching a spoiled basterd?

#16

“Thirtysomething” and “Open House”

#17

asstro: Ok, all those are bad, but does anyone else remember an early Fox Network sitcom called “Whoops”?

Barely. I don’t think I watched it because it sounded so stupid. It’s not even listed in the Internet Movie Database.

Another short-lived Fox sitcom, The Secret Diary of Desmond Pfeiffer, sure looked stupid. What I couldn’t believe was that Dann Florek (Capt. Cragen of “Law & Order”) deigned to be a part of it as the “perpetually horny Abraham Lincoln”.

Blacks were offended by this? I think whites would be too.

And the irony: this show would’ve died anyway on its own.

#18

I watched Silver Spoons. It sucked, but I have a thing for Erin Gray.

Don’t forget these oldies but crappies:
“Hello Larry”
“Barney Miller” (and spinoff: “Fish”)
“Maude”
The Sunny and Cher Show"

you’re right- the list is endless…

c-man

#19

IMHO, I think you can pretty much name ANY show on FOX or the WB and be assured it’s crap. Okay well…minus the X-Files and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
The NBC show “227”, “Silver Spoons”, “Punky Brewster” (Though Soleil Moonfrye got HUGE in all the right places when she hit puberty) and “Golden Girls”.

-Damien

#20

“Those Damn Incas.” circa 1992, I think.
Formulaic sitcom about a family of Incas who move in next door to the typical, all-American family. Hilarity ensues.
– Greg, Atlanta