Well…I’ve been browsing around this board, looking for the best place to sneak in quietly…someplace where there were other “guests.”
I don’t see any.
This inspires both wonder (that you are all so dedicated to becoming charter members)…and nausea.
How do I know if I’m cool enough to stay? What’s the initiation rite?
How fast does a credit card defrost?
You are.
It involves a duck, a 1920’s style “Death Ray” and a burning dog. Better not ask.
6 minutes. Go ahead and read the numbers through the ice though, I won’t tell anybody.
Welcome!
Bruce_Daddy, you weren’t supposed to tell her about the duck yet!
::flips through initiation list::
Ummm. Hmmm. sofia…you’re scheduled for the jello delivery tomorrow, that will be sixty-seven thousand large boxes of assorted flavors, and three small boxes of green.
Don’t start boiling water until you receive the call.
Damn! I guess that means I’ll have to bring the goat.
AGAIN!
The goat, the goat!
Oh, and don’t forget the prairie dogs and the dart gun!
-K
You forgot to tell her about the 10 pounds of melted chocolate and the velcro jumpsuit.
What? 
Seriously, sofia, this is a great place. C’mon in and have a seat. Would you like a cup of tea? Or maybe a beer?
Here, have a brownie!
um…ok.
I don’t know about this…I mean, I’m a consenting adult and all that, but…green jell-o?
brownies?! ambrosia…pure and simple.
Um, what kind of brownie? I surely never got one! That must be a New thing. All we got when I joined was a kick in the teeth and we liked it!
…we don’t do the ritual floggings any more?
Aw, damn…
Oh no, no, no. There’s no backing out now!
Beer and brownies are for the special guests. 
*bad newt…naughty newt *
what about the spankings?
(good gravy, did i say that out loud?)
Ah! The special guests! Gotcha!
I forgot about the ritual!
C’mon in sofia! Have a brownie!
You had teeth? Luxury! We only had our gums to get kicked in! And we were thankful!
Ya buncha pampered wusses.
We had to kick our own gums in!
We didn’t even have feet! We had to wobble ourselves to the curb and dive at it! We liked it too!
so…some of you have…let’s see…no feet and no teeth…or have had them knocked in (if you’re lucky…
…I’m beginning to understand the whole jell-o and brownies thing…
'tis the only thing some of can eat now! But it’s worth it!
well…it certainly sounds…cozy. 
btw, k…
where does one hang one’s…(must resist…must resist…) …cloak of elvenkind? 
oh…i’m so sorry…so sorry…
somebody, quick, kick my teeth in…
Feel not distressed. Cloaks of all kinds are welcome on our pegs. Most of them are multi purpose. <hint, keep a couple handy wipes in your pocket to use on the peg before you hang you cloak there.>
Curbs! I suppose the were made of concrete and everything! Wuss! We had to break out own jaws by bashing our skulls against our own genitals. And we enjoyed every minute.