Welcome aboard, sophia.
Witty…check
Smartass…check
Likes beer and chocolate…check
Enjoys self-flaggelation on concrete genitals…check
Looks to me like you’ll fit right in. Say goodbye to that $14.95…
Oooh! And knows D&D to a point. Fetch the goats, dart guns and brownies for the ceremony!
-K
(It was fetch you crude bastids!) 
Well now…that’s a hard-on!
sorry
-K
And backing out will bring an initiation that will make your eyes bulge!
(Literally, not metaphorically).
thanks, ruby.
i’m thinking that if you haven’t run me off yet (which sounds pretty difficult for some of you…no feet and busy with your bidness…how do you type?)…i guess i’m going to start boiling the water and defrosting the credit card…
…hey! where is the credit card?
You do NOT want to know!
[gollum]In it’s pocketses?[/gollum]
Ooop…sorry. Didn’t know it was yours. I mean, yeah, it has your name on it and all, but…errr…anyway, I found it for you. You’re welcome!
Oh, and it seems to be pretty well defrosted now.
I’ll be off now…gotta go toss my pants in the dryer.
No, really! Ya sick-minded bastages! I just did some laundry!
blue…you are a bad man.
k, nope. i think the bagginses took it. (forget the dwarven gold, now i know how he paid for that bitchin’ pad)
And after that… Well, all the Monty Python fans know.
Guests were crushed in the recent violent coup attempt. Some are still being shred to pieces by our hampsters. You’re next, sofia. Guards! Get her!:
[Locutus]I am Locutus, of Borg. Resistance is futile.[/Locutus]
. . . you had genitals?
Kids these days. . . spoiled, every one of 'em.
Oops. There was a small accident involving the goat and the dart gun. We’ll have to go with the yearling lamb and the arrow of sleighing.
Welcome sofia! Glad you could join us. Did you bring pie?
was i supposed to bring pie? give me a couple hours and i’ll have some jell-o for you…
i feel some twisted, macabre obligation to take a tally on what i’ve learned thus far about being a doper…
no teeth
no feet
dart gun at ready
arrow of slaying (optional)
“Death Ray”
burning dog
goat
lamb (optional)
duck
prairie dogs
velcro jumpsuit
melted chocolate
brownies
beer
tea
handy wipes
2nd and 3rd edition players handbook
random Tolkien and Star Trek trivia
no genitals? man…i was totally with you guys up to that point.
Ahem, it still says “Guest” under your name. What gives?
Also, that’s “1920s-style Death Ray.” And yes, bring pie. Don’t worry, you’ll learn quickly.
Welcome!
Right - that’s very important. The earlier-model Death Rays had a design flaw which had the unfortunate effect of frying the genitals of anyone who . . . hey. . . WAIT A MINUTE!
i’ll have mr. sofia pick up the pie on his way home with the credit card…
thanks for the welcome
And here’s your very first [nitpick]
That’s an arrow of sleighing. It’s about as useful as a backscratcher +2.
[/nitpick]
And any other nerd- and geek-oriented trivia you enjoy. What’s your trivia preference, sofia?
preference?
pointless movie and song quotes.
i’m afraid that in my old age i’ll forget how to speak original sentences and just lapse into endless quoting…
sorry about the sleighing…in good faith i’ll hand over my sword of hawkeye pierce-ing