A friend of mine was complaining to me recently about how another woman was copycatting her behavior - imitating the way she sang, or did her hair, etc. I commented something to the effect of “Imitation is the highest form of flattery” and she retorted “There is not a single woman in the world who would consider this sort of copycatting to be a compliment.”
Naturally, being a Doper, I now then ask this question of the ladies of the SDMB: Would you be perturbed if another woman (coworker, etc.) were imitating you and the way you did things? And if most women would be disturbed by such copycatting, how near-unanimous is such sentiment - near 90%? near 99%?
Edit: For clarification, I was not being sarcastic at all. It was sympathetic.
Yes. It’s off-putting. When I was in college, saying that a woman was going “Single White Female” was right up there with “Fatal Attraction” for “movie titles referring to psychotic behavior in women”.
There are a lot of variables here. The two most important:
- Is she copying everything about me, or just one particular aspect she admires?
- Is she doing this for a specific goal, or just because she admires me?
If she is copying one particular aspect of my look - my style of dressing, or my way of speaking, and is doing it only because she is trying to improve herself and considers me an improvement, I would consider it flattering.
If she is copying every aspect of me that she can and becoming a “mini-me”, I would find that annoying and creepy.
If she is copying me in order to reach a specific goal - take a friend, boyfriend, or job from me, or make other people think she is me or is like me for some reason, I would find that annoying and creepy.
Is this really a thing that happens?
In adult women? Just creepy. Junior high girls, I can see it causing trouble, and arguements. About grade 9, the lil’wrekker had a pretender. She didnt notice until other girls were commenting on it. When the girl got the exact same eyeglasses, we were a bit concerned. They moved before grade 10.
Tom Tildrum, yes this is a thing. I don’t know how prevalent it is, but it seems to crop up frequently enough as a topic on Reddit.
I disagree with the statement in the OP. Personally, I would feel flattered if someone borrowed bits and pieces of my style, especially if I like that person and think they have good taste. They would get bonus points if they openly acknowledged that I was influencing them. However, if it was a person I didn’t like who was copying me, then it would rub me the wrong way. It would look desperate and creepy.
My hypothesis is that most “copycats” don’t know that they are doing it. They see something on a person they like and admire and then they subconsciously associate that thing with being liked and admired. Maybe when they were kids, they were the ones who were most sensitive to what the “cool kids” were into.
Hoo Boy…this hits a nerve with me, big time.
Here’s why, and I will try my best to keep it short. I have a “real” job, but I also dabble in calling myself an artist. Was in a gallery, blah blah, the whole deal, and befriended a younger woman who kept hanging around and admired my work, seemed to just want to learn some techniques. So my gullible ass has her over to my home studio a bunch of times, and she did go a bit Single White Female on me.
Not only did she directly start copying my work (even gave a painting as a wedding gift to some mutual friends who immediately recognized it as a rip off of one of mine and told me about it), BUT chick decided she wanted my life to the extent that she put the moves on my husband who was not in a good emotional place at the time, thus causing more strain on our already unraveling marriage. We were having issues because of him refusing to treat his chronic and worsening depression, so he is NOT blameless, but she knew exactly how to hit him (and us) at the weakest spot.
I thought it was an infatuation that would wear off after a while…boy was I stupid.
So he left me for her.
She was 27 and we had been married 29 years at the time. I had mixing bowls older than her.
She even resembled me.
He definitely has a type. Redheads.
But it blew up in his face after not too long.
Once she had him, she didn’t want his Eeyore ass anymore. Mostly because it didn’t get the rise out of me she wanted.
I just finally said, “You want him, Sister? Well here ya go!”
I am convinced she never wanted him, she just wanted to see if she could get him, thus hurting me. I really think it was more about me than about my husband.
I knew she wouldn’t keep him long. I’m the only woman who will put up with his shit.
There are women like that you know.
On the other hand, I am currently training a new hire at work. She is modeling some of the things I do, which in this case, I want her to do. So I am fine with that.
Plus, I don’t have a husband anymore, so I’m good.
Well, I don’t mind being a trendsetter. But when it comes to artistic endeavors like singing style, that’s a very personal thing. There is a difference between a coworker seeing me come to work in modest comfortable a clothing and deciding to give up their miniskirts, vs copying actual personal mannerisms.
Basically it’s a huge compliment until it crosses over more than one area of life. When it goes from “doing X like me” to “being like me” it gets scary.