Cooler fhtagn! Cooler fhtagn! Ia!
Ow. Stop with the hitting. 
Just leave the dammed thing–on the front doorstep of somebody you don’t like. Ring the doorbell. Run.
Big laffs ensue.
PS–do not leave your calling card on this visit, unless you are a moron.
So, what are the three priests gonna be doing ?
Wow… :eek: Leaving nasty things in the cooler sounds like something my dad would do. However, my mom would a) nag him until he cleans it or b) if nagging hasn’t worked by the end of the week, clean it herself and give him grief for making her do so. 
She says that after having kids and the resultant dirty diapers, messes no longer have the power to scare her.
If I were you, I’d have a bottle of holy water standing by when NLH opens the Cooler Of Doom… just in case. A gun wouldn’t hurt either.
Have you considered that maybe it’s not full of evil? Maybe it’s full of…the Wrath of God.
Whe you open it your face melts off and your head explodes, and any Nazis in the area are incinerated.
The Igloo of the Covenant. “Don’t look at it, Marian! Keep your eyes shut!”
Never mind the dog. Are CATS scared of it?
If so…I recommend renting *Alien, Aliens and Aliens 3 * and study them closely (take notes) before opening the Cooler of Doom.
Better yet, find Sigourney Weaver, if possible, and make her open it.
With a blowtorch.
I’m surprised this thread has gotten this far with no Dirk Gently references. Remember the thing in the refrigerator waiting to be born?
My most sincere condolences on the loss of your beloved cooler.
I agree with everything that’s been said, but may I suggest that the appropriate consequnce for NLH it to use ONLY TCTGE from henceforth and forever.
Three priests along with all the other protective items sounds good, but I’m not sure I’d stop there. I’m thinking I might have to go with covering all my basis… as in inviting Four priests, Three Pastors, Two Rabbis and all the protective items but that’s just me. I’m a fraidy cat.
I won’t even watch horror movies since I have nightmares forever after.
I, too, will be watching for the results. Until then, I think I’ll make sure I leave my windows closed and the doors locked since I also live on the same continent.
My email is available if you need anything. Best of luck!
The God of Guilt! I was hoping to get the reference in myself, but ya beat me to it.
Oh yeah, “Bad husband! No nookie for you!”
Call Geraldo and tell him t’s John Dillinger’s beer cooler. He’ll open it himself and bring the cameras.
And if it turns out you need a sacrifice, well, there you go.
And a partrage in a pear tree…
Maybe the thing in the cooler will eat the partrage, giving you and the priests time to get away.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned an essential ingredient of protection. You need the Lone Ranger or a reasonable substitute. You know what his bullets were made of…
As the cooler is opened, try…
The power of Cecil compels you!
The power of Cecil compels you!
Remember this. This is very important. As you open the cooler, you must say, “Klaatu veratta nicto!”
Repeat the words back to me.
Again.
Once more.
Don’t forget.
It’s very important.
yes, I know it’s probably spelled wrong…
Dont do that , you dont want to force him to go looking for it in the (skillful) multiple arms that inhabit the cooler.
One the last day of summer, my husand brought to me…
C’mon, would someone finish this? I only have decaf right now. (Thank you Weirddave
That was Creepshow, actually. Another collection of Stephen King stories…
Speaking of whom, maybe you should invite King along with the priests, so you can have proper documentation of the event!
Am I the only one thinking of the ending to Raiders of the Lost Ark?
Best. Lovecraft. Joke. Ever.
I’ve never really believed it when posters claim to have sprayed their beverage of choice all over the screen and keyboard. Until now. (wipes screen)