It’s the Master, step in time.
It’s the Master, step in time.
Never do you reason, never do you rhyme.
It’s the Master, step in time.
I have prepared the People Kibble as you instructed, Most Spewsome One. The Ancient Knitted Doily of Doom has been sucessfully retrieved from it’s guardian, the Mother of All Socks.
I await further instructions.
Lessee. I’m off work at 17:00, but I can weasel out of here at 16:30. I just got paid. I work near the airport*. I figure I can be on a last-minute departure to Montréal by 19:00 at the latest.
[sub]Work is right under the flight path. If I need to, I figure I can lasso a plane as it leaves. A noose and a bit of stretchy bungee cord, and I’m on the way to an evil-free life…[/sub]
Fairblue, got your e-mail.
All is clear now.
All is Clear.
4h 30m till the master is free…
master is free…
is free…
free…
…
…
…
I wish I had a cool name like Cooler of Death…
Why am I reminded of the classic John Carpenter horror movie from 1987- The Prince of Darkness?
you will not be saved by the god bleach.
you will not be saved by the god plutonium.
In fact YOU WILL NOT BE SAVED.
They’ll be walking into a bar…
[sub](Sorry, That was almost unspeakably lame, and probably I’ll be the only one who actually got a chuckle out of it, but dangit, it had to be said!)[/sub]
Bobcaygeon! 
Nice place.
Pity it won’t be spared by The Evil. 
NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooo!!! Don’t do it!!!
Am I to understand that there is FISH in TCOD? I once left fish in a cooler for 3 measly days, and the cooler was thrown out. Sure, the beer was just fine at first, but once the ice began to melt, the water would leach the foul stench that had permiated the plastic at a level just beyond the reach of bleach and ScotchBrite pads. Soon all the beers had a fishy-stinky taste to them, not just the Heinekin. Soon our hands and mouths were coated in a thin film of fishwater. Chips began to taste like fish. Cigarettes had a fish like taste. Even the FISH tasted crappy.
You’ve been warned. You can wipe away the evil, but it never truly leaves.
Yay!
Uh, I mean, Aaaargh! Run! It’s the… You know.
Yay!
Wait, you weren’t supposed to be out until 7pm!!
I–uh—um…I’m not quite ready for you. I was going to make pigs in a blanket and mix up martinis.
I’ll be right back…
:ivylass casually saunters out of the room, then runs like hell:
The correct welcoming incantation is “Yippy Skippy! The Evil!”
Ironic, today is Passover. This thing may take out all of our first-born.
Or maybe we’ll all be eating our last suppers tonight.
I don’t have any first-born. Does this mean I’ll owe The Evil a kid?
If so, can I weasel out of it with a goat?
And won’t this make a good pick-up line? “Hi! Let’s have a child together, so that I can feed it to The Evil.” Hell, it’d be more successful than most of my pickup lines…
The post is coming from inside the cooler!
So help me, if you have a cable hookup in there…
What a bunch of pessimists. What if the cooler contains all the joy and happiness our lives have been devoid of these past couple of years? What if it holds the secrets to unlock AIDS, Breast Cancer and SARS? What if has the power to make Christopher Reeves walk? What if the Cooler can make Paul Walker a good actor?
Embrace the cooler, open and bask in the knowledge and beauty within.
Jesus I love this Ativan.
I am waiting for you, Velma. I look forward to my release. All will be clear then.
But do not be afraid. I am not what you think.
If you get a new cooler, get one with a “live well” so that you can just slide that open to get stuff out and not open the whole lid. Pretty cool.
faints
embrace the cooler! are ya daft!?!
velma don’t forget the plastic and duct tape. i think you will need lots and lots of duct tape.
i wonder what the code colour is for opening the cooler of death?
Puce? Chartreuse?
Does this mean I have to go out and get some lambs blood and paint religious symbols on the front door?
Or shall I just let this nameless evil take the only man in the house, the man that did this with our cooler last year?
It involved fish as well. Not a pretty sight.