I know you typically only get one day off a week. I know you work very hard and you’re enjoying yourself, but if you’re not going to shower for two and a half days, stay the hell in your room. You absolutely reek of armpit, ass, bad breath, and strong tobacco.
And please, for the love of God, don’t walk through the house in your underwear, shamelessly scratching your crotch and ass, and pat us on the back. And especially, don’t touch my face ten seconds after you do this! I won’t sneak into your room at night rubbing my ass on your face, and you won’t touch my face anymore, ok? At least give me some warning before hand so I can throw a boiling pot of water on you.
There’s no water crises, no shortage of soap, deoderant, or toothpaste. No one has used your bathroom in hours. No one should have to turn their head away everytime you want to speak to them. And trust us, you smelling worse than the dog’s ass is ruder than us turning our heads. When two people who share the same house with you tell you it’s time to shower, you might want to do more than scratch your balls and say we’re mean. We just like breathing, it’s important to us.
I don’t know what holiday you think it is, but there’s no reason for you not to scrub your ass. Now please, go do it.
No, he’s just a hardworking slob. He’s an old fashioned guy (in all the negative ways) and expects all housework to be done for him. He isn’t home all that often, so it isn’t that big of a problem, but today we learned what happens when he stays for a reasonable ammount of time with nowhere to go. Perhaps he expected someone to bathe him.
People like that all need to move to Colorado and the desert southwest where they’re having an actual drought and those of us that like to shower frequently all need to move to Seattle. We can lick this water shortage by more properly marrying hygiene with our natural resources.
I hear you Necro; when I find that my annoying little freak of a roomate has decided not to flush the toilet, I just want to smash his little white-boy-Afro wearing, unhygenic, not washing his hands, never cleans the fucking kitchen, eats off of my plates without asking skull in.
Water gun attack, dude. Buy some cheap water guns at Target, fill em up with water, and ambush his stinky ass. You get the fun of a water fight and then, when he screeches, “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!”, you can say, “Giving you a shower, cause you fucking stink.” Humiliating and fun!
I think I knew that guy in college. Seriously. A ‘friend’ of mine was like your roommate; however this guy compounded the pitpiss stench by dousing himself in cologne. Truly nauseating.
Our solution was to play secret Santa. Every week we would put a bar of soap, or a bottle of shampoo, or a toothbrush & toothpaste, or deodorant in his mailbox. After the first ‘gift’ he was confused. As more ‘gifts’ arrived, he became upset. It was explained to him that obviously someone was concerned for him. It took a while, but he got the hint.
I hate showering. I do it just for the people I come in contact with.
But I do brush my teeth. That’s important.
Further, I like it when a man smells like tobacco, alcohol and sweat. That’s what a man should smell like.
Usually, I’ll shower thursday night, not friday morning before work, and then won’t shower again until Monday morning before work (that’s if I don’t exercise over the weekend. If I exercise I shower). That’s as long as I can go though.
I start getting REAL bad at about 64 hours, so by the time I get to 84 hours, stand back, bessie.
HECK NO! We don’t want them here, the stinky people that is. Send them to Antarctica, where no one will have to worry about it. And its still really dry.
