I’m a redneck because I’m from the South.
I cannot possibly be from the South because I have no accent.
I’m a lesbian because all my friends are guys, and I have one female friend.
I also must have had sex with that one female friend at one point, because you know all women have sex with their best friends at least once.
I’m in a gang, because I wear my baseball hats backwards.
I’m in a gang because I refer to quite a few people as “my little brother”.
I’m not a “true Southerner” because I don’t eat grits.
I’m also a big, fat liar because I’m allergic to a lot of different things, and when I say I’m allergic to them, I’m just being a bitch.
I’m a redneck because I like watching wrestling.
I’m not a “Southerner” because I don’t watch NASCAR.
I’m a freak because I’m friends with <gasp> GAY PEOPLE!
I’m a slut because I dated a black guy.
I’m a racist because I’m a white girl from the South.
Wow. I must be the Queen of Contradiction.