Things I've learned, both large and small

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I turned 33 yesterday, and it was the first birthday where I haven’t really been able to wrap my mind around my new age. (As in, I would think to myself, “Hey, I’m turning 33 in x months/weeks/days,” and then immediately think, “No, that can’t be right…I’ll be 32.” And then realize I was correct the first time. …Still haven’t gotten past that, actually.) Anyway, since I’m absurdly reflective by nature even when there’s nothing of note to be reflective about, I got to thinking about all the stuff that we learn or figure out over the course of our lives, from the momentous to the mundane, and how it changes who we are and what we believe and how we act.

And I thought I’d write a few of them down:

[ul]
[li]Life is a series of kisses with a series of different people, until you find someone who you keep on wanting to kiss and who keeps on wanting to kiss you back.[/li][li]By and large, clothing that costs more really does look and fit better.[/li][li]Similarly, some brands of clothing will fit you better than other brands, even if the prices are comparable. (For example, I was fortunate enough to be able to splurge on some deeply discounted Italian designer stuff over Thanksgiving, and there was one brand which just. didn’t. hang right on me, even though it was extremely expensive and ostensibly high-end. Too bad, too, because I really liked the material itself.) Ditto for certain styles, certain cuts, certain fabrics. Find the stuff that consistently works best for you, and you’ll improve the way you look without changing how much you pay. [/li][li]When shopping for clothing, buy the things that feel nice when you touch them.[/li][li]How well a piece of clothing fits you often bears no resemblance to the size listed on the label.[/li][li](Enough about clothing!) In college and grad school, the more professors (preferably well-regarded professors) who know you and think highly of you, the better. Letters of recommendation are a crucial currency, a insincere or generic letter of recommendation can be spotted from a mile away, and the quality of your letters of recommendation can easily be the difference between getting a job/fellowship/position/acceptance letter and not getting one. This is something I really wish I’d taken to heart earlier than I did.[/li][li]It’s sometimes better to be very bad at something rather than not quite good enough.[/li][li]Tuna ceviche is the best thing ever.[/li][li]Ditto coffee ice cream.[/li][li]Ditto caramel.[/li][li]Nothing in this world is more wonderfully phrased than a Dorothy Parker book review.[/li][li]If you go to one of the many lyrics sites on the Web because you can’t remember the chorus of an Ella Fitzgerald song, it’s possible to get your computer infected with some vicious, vicious malware even if you’re only on the site for fifteen seconds. This is why I only get lyrics from small sites that are obviously fan-created or artist-sanctioned.[/li][li]The books you read as a child will stay with you forever.[/li][li]It’s possible, if difficult, to be good and genuine friends with your ex.[/li][li]The Hype Machine is a wonderland of delights for fans of indie music.[/li][li]Things that must be preserved at all costs include the serial comma, em-dashes, and writing “James’s giraffe” instead of “James’ giraffe.”[/li][li]The best kind of liquor is anything that’s smooth and tasty enough to sip from a tumbler with one or two ice cubes and maybe a splash of water.[/li][li]If a dish has some combination of garlic, jalapenos, lime juice, or sriracha sauce in it, it’s probably going to be delicious.[/li][li]Anyone who loves to read and who has some disposable income should get an Amazon Prime membership. [/li][li]To be happy, people need things to look forward to. Lots of things, long-term and short-term. Whether it’s meatloaf Thursdays, or the new Bond movie, or going on a third date with the girl who makes your stomach flutter, or teaching your as yet unborn son how to fish, or retirement, or eternal salvation. Anticipation is what propels us forward.[/li][/ul]

That’s all I’ve got for now. Some are more universally true than others; some are completely subjective; some are probably riddled with exceptions and caveats. Feel free to agree, discuss, dispute, amend, or expand upon them as appropriate; I’m sure I’ll be back with more in a bit.

2

I’ll play!

[ul]
[li]Never say something behind somebody’s back that you wouldn’t say to their face.[/li][li]Always bring a towel.[/li][li]Everyone has problems. Some are just better at hiding it than others.[/li][li]Always be grateful.[/li][li]When you go to an ethnic restaurant and don’t see anybody of that ethnicity there, it’s a bad sign.[/li][li]If somebody else is wrong, they’re an asshole idiot. If you are wrong, it was the circumstance. Don’t follow this mindset.[/li][li]Keep an open mind, but not so wide that your brain falls out.[/li][li]Don’t hide from your emotions.[/li][li]Fear can be a good thing.[/li][li]We see not what is, but what we are.[/li][li]Loving others is key to happiness.[/li][li]There’s always somebody better than you.[/li][li]Always exercise. Mind and body are indeed connected.[/li][li]Pick your friends wisely, for they will inevitably rub off on you.[/li][li]Always tip well.[/li][li]Cupid is a fickle bastard. Whatever you do for love, make sure you use your brain as well.[/li][/ul]

How’s that?

3

I just wanted to chime in and say that this is a very profound thought. I’ve found it extremely true every time I’m temporarily unemployed.

4

If you never make the first move, you will never meet someone who is just like you.

What other people think of you doesn’t matter for two important reasons. One, you can never really guess what they are thinking. Two, these people may not be so smart.

If you want to see how smart your Grandparents are, ask them how they handled issues that were relevant in the 1950s.

After getting a hair cut twice a year for ten years, your cat will only try to murder the groomer once.

People who can’t sell their good ideas will end up in the position as people without any good ideas.

TV shows will have a good run only if they have good characters. A good plot or gimmick works for movies, but not for anything longer than four hours.

You shouldn’t be scared of failure, only of its consequences. This is an important distinction when you realize you’re getting scared of failing in situations with no consequences (or at least consequences you can easily deal with.)

5

^Excellent.
• Never skimp on toilet paper.

• Never skimp on underwear.

• Don’t force things. Try and work out solutions organically; move with the grain, grow toward the light, let it happen naturally.

• Always have a back-up plan.

• Always back-up.

• Before making a huge decision… sleep on it.

• If you’re stuck or stumped… step away for a while.

• Indulge in something every once in a while.

• Get enough sleep.

• Go out of your way to be kind. Keep giving.

• Have no expectations.

• There’s always someone worse off than you are. Count your blessings.

• Work and play hard.

• Laugh a lot. And, learn to laugh at yourself.

• Don’t be a pushover, and don’t get suckered. Keep a cynical eye open.

• Keep your word.

• Be fair.

• Admit when you’re wrong.

• Never stop learning.

• Revisit your prejudices, you might be wrong or find your perspective has changed.

• Find ways to get creative. Be original. Approach things in a novel way.

• Try something you don’t think you’ll be good at, you might surprise yourself.

6

You plan for dinner parties and school exams, life you live. Ride the ride.

When people show you who they really are your job is to see.

You can’t help someone by doing for them what they could/should do for themselves.

Life is noisy and messy. But it’s still a beautiful mess!

“The secret to life is enjoying the passage of time,
There ain’t nothin’ to it, any fool can do it.” --James Taylor

7

At 33 myself, I only have one: Don’t worry about getting good grades in college. No employers are impressed, and the time spent studying to get an ‘A’ in a field you’ll never use would have been much better spent building enduring relationships (both friendship and otherwise). College should be about learning interpersonal skills equally, if not much more than, scholastic skills.

8

People are strippers too.

9

Go ahead and ask out that girl you like. She may say no, but you won’t die and in a few years you won’t even care. But she may say yes and something wonderful may happen. You might fall in love.

10

Don’t agonize over things you can do nothing about. When something is out of your control, it either will or it won’t.

I was talking this morning with someone about how your memory gets worse when you get older. “It’s like things fall out of yours ears” I said. Her reply was “Better your ears than your mouth.”:smiley:

11

Nothing helps keep life running smoothly better than a well managed bank account. It doesn’t have to be large or excessive, just well managed.

Staying married is just a matter of both parties waking up every single morning glad to be married and doing everything it takes to maintain that feeling. You may not always be happy with your spouse, but as long as you are glad that he/she is the one you are mad at, you’re doing ok.

Everyone should be able to hem their own pants, sew on a button, and bake good brownies without a mix.

12

Thanks, guys. These are all pretty wonderful.

13

My turn!

[ul]
[li]No matter how clearly, visibly, and easily understood you make a set of instructions, those who require them the most will be the ones who think they don’t need to read them.[/li][li]The more valid and discrediting your counterargument, the less chance there will be that a troll will address it.[/li][li]When writing a piece of music or a story that doesn’t quite work, fix it, and if you can’t fix it, change it, no matter how much you like the arrangement or turn of phrase, or the whole work will suffer.[/li][li]The rest of the beer is never quite as good as that first sip.[/li][li]Even if your cat has only just begun to execute its cunning plan, it is already too late. If you try to stop it, you will lose one way or the other.[/li][li]You really are your own worst critic.[/li][li]It’s only a bandwagon to those who aren’t jumping on.[/li][li]Dollar store shoelaces were clearly made for people with much, much smaller shoes.[/li][li]Nothing is so bad that it can’t be improved with bacon.[/li][li]Nothing is so glittery that it can’t be made to look dull by a teenage girl’s MySpace page.[/li][li]Never underestimate the depths to which human stupidity and politics can plumb. They are often inseparable.[/li][li]Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for it makes them soggy and hard to light.[/li][/ul]

14

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. (Take a chance, sometimes you have to get burned to learn).

Never start smoking.

Learn good habits early on and never deviate from them.

Say please and thank you.

If you have to argue, you already lost. State your point and move on. You don’t have to prove you’re right or that the other person is wrong. Some people don’t want to learn, they just want to be right or win (which is not always the same).

It is okay to be wrong. Just learn from the mistake and move on.

It doesn’t matter if you reach the top of the mountain, as long as you keep climbing you will be higher up and further along than when you started, even if you backslide a bit.

There is no such things as fear of success, only fear of failure; however, the further up the ladder of success you climb, the more opportunities you have to stop the fall should slip or fail.

Really good friends are hard to find, choose them wisely and be willing to forgive even big mistakes (caveat: see first entry).

Love your children. Listen to them even when you’re tired, busy, or really into a book/movie/tv show. You never know how long you’ll have them and they’ll come back to you after they grow up.

Listen twice as much as you talk. I mean really listen, don’t just wait for you turn to speak, especially when you are angry or in a debate or argument.

Read!!

At some point, you will realize that your parents are people too, that they were just as clueless and scared as you are at your age, and that they were just doing the best job they could with the skills and knowledge they had.

Have fun. Make it a point to play. “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

Knowledge, intelligence, and wisdom are not interchangeable.

Have a hobby.

When things are tough and you don’t think you can go on, just keep breathing.