Things that reporter should have said to Tom Cruise

Did you see the film of this? The guy shoots some lame water device at Shorty at the London premiere, then when Cruise gets mad at him, just stands there with a big stupid lame grin, not giving anything back!!!

Jumping Jesus man, if you have the stones to do that to a guy, at least have a snappy comeback when he erupts at you!!!

I’ll start the ball rolling with the lamest, but first answer off the top of my head:

Cruise: “…you’re a jerk!”

Lame guy: “Hey pal -two words: Mission Impossible”

How about "I thought maybe you’d grow?"

Or, “I was hoping you’d melt.”


Think we’ve got a winner right here.

As soon as I wipe the spit-coffee off my keyboard, I’ll get working on the prize certtificate…

:o Aw, garsh! :o

That’s mine…and I’m HIV positive.

“The power of Xenu COMPELLS you!”

“Aw, gee, sorry, Mr. Cruise. It sounded funny when my buddies talked me into it.”

“So … is Burt Reynolds going to slap me now?”

“We wanted to see if you spit or swallow.”

“Sorry, didn’t mean to screw up your e-meter.”

"… I know, it was an annoying little squirt - by the way, does that remind you of anything?’