Have any of you seen my razor?
“Please don’t kill me.”
“Will they believe that I’m a refugee from the 1850’s?”
“Okay, how about the 1840’s?”
“Not even the 1860’s?”
“I spent all this time growing this beard, now they’re going to cut it off.”
I’m going to kill the person that wrote “There’s no place like home for the holidays.”
“Hey! Who moved my 1920’s Style Death Ray?”
“And I would’ve gotten away with it, if it weren’t for those meddling kids!”
“Shoot me, but PLEASE no Old Navy ads!!!”
“Can the Fab 5 make me look pretty for the trial?”
“Did that rat bastard Jon on Survivor turn me in?”
“Damn! These hide and go seek games last forever!”
Maybe now I can get this sore tooth checked out…
“Ah, American prison hospitality. Luxury at last!”
Note to self: Call ghost writer and tell him to start writing the last chapter. It should end with a bang.
“Hey, where’s the cute blond girl? I wanna be tied up and arrested by her!”
How come hitlers underground bunker was so much better than mine?
maybe choosing not to steal a few billion and move to Saudi Arabia back in march was one of my poorer decisions in life.
Thank god the kids arent alive to see this.
Amway, people Amway, I was hoping you were amway sales people.
“I’ve lived in this hole for the past several months – I want to move to the Caribbean.”
“I never liked being a dictator. I always wanted to be A LUMBERJACK!”
Saddam who? I’ve never heard of him.
It’s about time you guys got here. I have been in need of a physical. The health insurance here sucks.
Oh good, it’s just the Americans!
Going through Saddam’s mind right before his capture?
I’ll bet it was a catchy, infectious melody, with clever, sexually-suggestive lyrics from an Iraqui pop radio station.
No, I’m not Saddam. My name is Rupert.
Bitches set me up.
I shoulda never gotten rid of those WMDs.
OK, this isn’t so bad. My popularity ratings are higher than any of the Democratic presidential hopefuls.
“good grief! it’s about time you got here…i just ran outa toilet paper…”
The Mother Of All Captures!!! Shite does happen!!
I’m gonna shoot that salesman today…oh, it’s just the illegal infidel occupiers