“They’re coming. What to do? Maybe I should say something like, ‘Septic tank’ll work fine now, but you gotta be careful about what you put down there from now on, y’know’ … Nah, they won’t buy that one. Maybe if I try the “I’m the Iraqi President” dodge, they’ll think I’m some kind of harmless loony and move along somewhere else.”
[Then, five minutes later…]
“Damn! What was I thinking? I shoulda stuck with the septic tank story!”
“Phew its not those bloody Jehovahs witensses again i swear you engage them in conversation jsut the once and you are never rid of them”
You dig 16 tons, what do you get? Another day older and deeper in debt …
“Look, over there. Isn’t that Osama Bin Laden?”
“I demand my free telephone call. Have you got George Galloway’s number?”
“I would have got away with it too, if it hadn’t been for you pesky kids”
“uh-oh, I’ve just become a known-known”
“If I stand very still, they may think I’m a statue. Nothing bad ever happens to statues”
She was more like a beauty queen from a movie scene hih
I said don’t mind, but what do you mean I am the one woo
Who will dance on the floor in the round wee
…
“Leave me alone and let me dig my own hole to hell. (This pit’s a good start ain’t it?)”
“I wonder, if get sent to the US for a trial, whether I can still sue the creators of that ‘South Park’ movie for slander and libel?”
I’ve never done anything with guys before, but I will make an exception in this case if you let me go. How about it guys?
“I wonder what J-Lo and Ben Affleck are up to these days?”
It must have been that left turn at Albuquerque
“Evidentially, I can’t dig a hole to China”
“Oh, crap! I was just about to dye the beard too!”
“Anyone got Mark Geragos’ number?”
Damn. I wish someone would come along and help me download this Paris Hilton video.
April Fool! No wait, Trick or Treat! Umm, sorry no one in here but us chickens.
Suddam? No, man, he’s on the other side of the river. Actually, I think he drowned halfway across. Yeah, that’s right. He drowned, so that means he’s dead, and you don’t have to look for him anymore! Isn’t that nice!
Oh thank God you are here.
Now I can go to trial- be found guilty- and be sentenced to political assilumn in the United States. Where I will live out my days with a new identity, a new house and car, and 1 million in the bank. All thanks to the US taxpayers.
Crime really does pay.
“Have any of you guys seen a black and white kitten, only he’s been missing for 8 months and I just thought…”
“No dance tonight…”
“I’m going to Disneyland!”
“I guess all my base really do belong to you.”
Can you come back in 6 hours? I don’t normally get up until 10.
Hey, Relax guys! I can change!
Want to see a weapon of mass destruction? Look in this bucket over here.