In a similar vein, watching an adult scold their child over the use or misuse of a toy with a name so ridiculous you can’t help but wonder if the toymakers did it on purpose. My friends’ sons once got into a now-infamous Gak vs. Smud fight. How do you say something like “I don’t care if he took your Gak, you shouldn’t have thrown his Smud” with a straight face?
Does your dog go, “whoop. whoop. whoowhoowhoopwhoop” too?
Sometimes mine goes, “grrrrrrrrrr. whoop. grrrrrrrrrr. whoop.”
Whenever it starts, we mute the TV and just listen. It’s the funniest thing ever. I keep trying to record it with my digital camera.
When I do, it will become the most famous video on the web since that fat kid pretended to be a jedi.
Being a hockey fan, road trips have provided some priceless humor. At VBC in Huntsville, we had arrived very early for a game and both Les and I really needed the restrooms. As I completed what I went in there for, I started to stand up and pull up my pants when the auto-flush toilet (I hate those things) made this awful growling noise. Les in the next stall is laughing her ass off, when she stands up and hers growls. We exit the restroom laughing so hard we can’t stand up straight, and there is the father of one of our hockey players who we had taken on the trip since he was in Columbus for Christmas and Leslie’s family is his son’t host family. We really didn’t know him all that well and were kind of embarassed to explain why we were hysterical. He started laughing and told Les “I told you not to bring your hairy ass!” which just made things worse. Leslie has a wonderful minature donkey and we have been know to invite people to “come on out and see Leslie’s hairy ass.”
At one home game S. and I were in the ladies when another woman rushed in and headed for a stall. She had visited Taco Bell or some such and let the longest, loudest fart I have ever head. Sophie and I looked at each other and RAN for the exit - hoping to make it before we exploded in laughter. We made it. Barely. Then leaned against the wall wiping tears from our eyes.
Kittens are endless sources of amusment. When starting to wean a litter of about 5, I had started mixing a tiny amount of canned food into the formula to start getting them used to the taste. After feeding the last kitten, I was gathering up my supplies when I saw one of the little males had grabbed my lap towel (used to protect me from formula dribbles, wipe kitten mouths, etc.). This appox. 4oz scrap of fur has his 1/16 inch long teeth (you could just barely see them) sunk in this towel which outweighed him by about a factor of 25, and is attempting to drag it out of the reach of me and his littermates accompanied by tiny growls. Tiny growls are so funny!
And yes, the “stick all my fur up and raise my back and hop sideways at you” is always good for lots of laughter.
I’ll throw in on the bathroom stall thing:
Written below a sign advising women not to flush tampons or sanitary pads:
THEY BREED IN THE SEWERS.
Best. Ever. 
Also, written on the paper towel dispenser at my college: “Sociology Degrees. Take one.”
At work, in the men’s bathroom the other day, after lunch. Full house - three stalls occupied, three urinals taken, 2 guys using the sink.
One of the gentleman at the urinals lets out an eardrum-shattering fart, pauses for 1 beat, and intones loudly, “I HAVE SPOKEN!”
We all cracked up. Ah, fart humor. Can’t beat it with a stick!
What will never stop being funny? People finding Jesus images everywhere. Oh, and on the same topic, this page. It’s real, alright, even if you did see it on Conan first.
That’s not funny, it’s just fucking sad and pathetic, and i wish people would stop it. Even sadder is the fact that allegedly-serious media outlets actually give airtime to this bullshit.
[disembarks from soapbox]
This reminds me of the basis for one of my favorite Dilbert comic strips. Dogbert, annoyed yet interested in a rash of religious figures being spotted in food products, draws a smiley face in a jar of peanut butter and declares it to be the image of a saint.
I’ve always found those sports statues to be hilarious too. Seems that Jesus really likes taunting the little basketball players though.
Rove McManus.
Mine does that, along with the running motions.
However nothing beats a dog making a high speed transition from carpet to tiles,
even better if they are tring to go around corner. The look of bewiderment on my dogs face as he goes rotating past on his way to the wall is priceless.
We get some pretty good hail storms here. My favourite is a hail stone the size of a golf ball hitting some guy right on the shin. It must have been really painful, but every time I think of it- and it must be 20 years ago- I still laugh.
The Jesus Tae Kwon Do sculpture takes the cake. I can just hear The Messiah saying “Kick his ass, Billy!”
Bill Cosby’s dentist routine. No matter how many times I’ve seen it, it just kills me!
Bambi Meets Godzilla. This is always freakin’ hilarious to me.
Bathroom wall humor–I found this to be terribly funny: “ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ. If you had time to read this, you’re taking a shit.” My sister and I started referring to dump-taking as “reciting the alphabet.” And the topper was the time we were in Walmart with our kids and I had to hit the ladies room. While I was in there, my four year old niece came in and entered the other stall. A few second later, I heard her singing: “ABCDEFG…” I had to bite my lip reeeeeaaally hard to keep from cracking up! (She always sang on the potty–the choice of tune that time was purely coincidental!)
When we were kids, my mom had the bad habit of packing the four of us into her 1978 Malibu station wagon, starting to pull out of the driveway, but then stopping and hanging out her window to yak with the neighbor lady for 10 or 20 minutes. She especially did this in the summer (when NL was outside the most) and the air conditioner in the Malibu didn’t work. We hated this.
When I was about seven, I figured out an ingenious way to interrupt the conversation and get Mom moving. I’d lean over to my baby sister, strapped into her car seat, and whisper to her:
“Mary! Say, ‘Bitch, get a move on!’”
And Baby Sis, not even two years old, would shout out, “Bitch! Get a move on!” with glee. Sometimes it would come out garbled, but no matter.
This would crack us up, infuriate Mom, and annoy Neighbor Lady. (Who couldn’t really get too uppity, since her sons taught us the swear words.) Mom would immediately say goodbye, throw the car into gear, and yell at us for five minutes or so for teaching the baby dirty words.
Sometimes Baby Sis would not get it the first time we whispered to her. After all, we were teaching her new words! She’d get this funny smile on her face, so eager to be a part of our games, and ask in a loud voice,
“WHAT?!?”
because she didn’t quite get yet that secrets are told in hushed voices. We’d laugh so hard that it was difficult to whisper the phrase to her again.
I’m 28 now, but I still giggle at the memory. It was so cute. I’m giggling as I type this. Last night, I recounted the story to Baby Sis’s friend. She thought it was a laff riot. Even my mom laughs now when we reminisce about it.
**Q.N. **, you are a genius! And ballsy too.
No matter how many times I read Bash it never gets old. Here’s a personal fave 
OH MY GOD! THANK YOU!!! That took care of that crappy day quickly.
Ok, I know this isn’t funny to anyone else… Turtle Legs.
Once while describing a sweater to my first husband I said it had a turtle neck. He then asked with complete seriousness if it also had turtle arms, I responded through whoops of giggling, that no, it had turtle legs.
Bathroom musings… I’m not so sure this is funny. It may be profound, but I doubt it…
“I feel more like I do now, than I did when I got here”
Maybe you have to be walking on your lips before it becomes profound…
One thing that never fails to have me and my friends in laughing fits is getting drunk, putting on a CD and watching cartoons. Somehow the cartoon mouths always seem to match the singing on the CD. Perhaps it has more to do with the alcohol than anything else but damn it’s funny
I saw this cartoon at a Spike and Mike’s Sick and Twisted Festival of Animation. I laughed so hard, my stomach ached and I literally almost peed my pants. I couldn’t stop laughing whenever I thought of it for weeks after. Thinking about it now, I have to consciously stop from giggling, and I haven’t seen the damn thing in over five years.