:: snrrk ::
Still not quite as funny as the Burger King story.
Did you ever do anything else as a child?
This picture of a cat eating a hot dog makes me laugh every time I see it. I printed it out and carried it around in my folder at school yesterday, and I would just run across it while looking for other things and start laughing in the middle of class. It makes me think of Bucky from “Get Fuzzy.”
I nearly shot cola out my nose. That is a great picture.
OMG I just came downstairs after accidentally flipping to a channel b/c I had to post this- SPANISH TELEVISION, like Telemundo. My god, no matter what time of day you flip to that/those channels, the promos and the shows are f-ing HILARIOUS. The SOAPS, the MUSIC, the TALK SHOWS- my god, it is an eternal and unrelenting well of humor.
And by all that of course I mean laughing at the ridiculousness of it all! If you don’t know Spanish, even better!
Let me try to explain the event as it happened…
I’m sitting in my room reading with the door closed. I hear a muffled yelling sound coming from the living room, I figure its my mom calling for me. I walk into the living room where my mom is reading on the couch.
Me: Yeah?
Mom: What?
Me: You called me.
Mom stares at me blankly, then roars with laughter.
Mom: I didn’t call you, I farted!!
uncontrolable laughter ensues
Pensandfeathers, what the heck did your parents name you? 
I’m going to hazard a guess that they called him “Jeff”. 
So true. Every time I read them, I’m practically falling out of my chair. I always loved
There is a program on a channel called Jetix with the bizzare name “Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!”. Everytime I see it in the T.V. guide I start laughing
I’m partial to the Chicago stop, myself.
The voice: “This. . .is Chicago.”
“No shit.”
Dogs in a rear wheel skid is always classic.
Dog in awful hurry to get someplace needs to execute a sharp 90 degree turn on the way (around a building or something). Approaching corner, dog realises approach speed is a little high and brakes hard into the turn. Weight shifts onto front paws, entire rear end of dog slides out.
I have witnessed dogs actually end up doing a complete 180 and facing back the way they came as a result of this. It’s especially funny if the dog, still in a hurry to get somewhere, and having lost valuable time, tries to over-correct. If there’s a polished wooden floor, all the better.
Plenty. None of it tops the Burger King story or the Car Swearing story, though–at least nothing that comes to mind right now.
Probably only funny to me, but whenever I go over to Fark.com, and see an entry called **Photoshop this ______ ** I start laughing. I guess it’s in anticipation of the crazy shit I’m going to see when I clink the link.
Regarding the hand dryer instructions, when they stopped printing the words and wrote the instructions in pictographs, some genius came up with the idea of drawing a tit around the button in the little picture where the finger is pressing the button. Sublime.
In the “you had to be there” category, my wife’s father speaks English with a fairly heavy accent. One day he was ordering a pizza over the phone. He spelled his last name a couple of times, but he pronounces the letter H as “otch”, so the pizza guy couldn’t understand and kept asking him to repeat it. Several futile attempts later, my wife’s father exploded, “IT’S OTCH, YA TURKEY!” and slammed down the phone in disgust.
To this day, whenever the letter H comes up in conversation, my wife or I exclaim, “It’s otch, ya turkey!” to the befuddlement of onlookers.
Funny, no one’s mentioned chimps wearing clothes and acting like people. That can cheer up the blues in no time flat!
I loved Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp!
Quoth Vagus:
I can beat that. Back when my old dog Bear (rest his soul) was young and rambunctious, his favorite passtime was to run full-tilt through the house. One time, as he charged from the dining room into the kitchen, he suddenly realized he was going too fast, with a solid countertop directly ahead. He didn’t have a chance to turn left or right, much less stop, so in a moment of inspired panic, he went over. I think that was the highest he ever jumped in his life, and he immediately proceded to do the doggy spin-out across the top of the countertop, before falling sideways off the other end.
I think he managed to knock quite a bit off the top of the counter in the process, but we were all lauging far too hard to be upset.
I have a dignified dog. He doesn’t skid on slippery floors or go “woop” in his dreams. He sleeps curled up in a decorous circle, no unseemly sprawling. He’s politely friendly to strangers.
Except when he meets big, burly, deep-voiced men. Then he throws himself into this ecstatic song-and-dance of wagging, groveling, prancing, and glad cries. These are complete strangers. It’s freaking hilarious. It was even funnier the other morning, when there was a guy next door working on my neighbor’s driveway. Lalo galloped over to him, whimpering and dancing around, and the big burly guy bent down and petted him all over, saying “HEYBUDDYHOWZABUDDAWAZZABADDA,” and the dog practically started howling with happiness. I nearly peed my pants.
I’ve thought about renting him out to shy women. “Walk this dog in a public place: you will meet guys. Quality of guys not guarunteed.” I once described this behavior to my friend Andrea, saying, “He just loves strange men.” Andrea, without missing a beat, said “I could say that about a lot of people I know.”