My supervisor has two little Yorkies that she brings to work and leaves in the office when she has appointments. One cries when she leaves and when she comes back he jumps into the air vetically. Just straight up and down, up and down. Think a dog on springs or a trampoline.
It’s hysterical.
I can’t help but laugh whenever I see that commercial where the kid gives his dog peanut butter and they show the dog licking his chops.
An obese cat falling off the arm of a leather sofa on which it’s been sleeping. First, the sound, a semi-frantic sound of pawing and scratching as it struggles to keep its place; and then the look on the cat’s face is priceless.
No, we don’t push our cats off the arms of sofas; we’d never do that. It’s entirely accidental. A cat’ll be sleeping, and stretch too far in one direction, and gfffwhallump-sscrr–sccrr–sccrr–he’s on the floor.
Another related cat-astrophe: Every now and then, I’ll have a magazine or book or something sticking off the edge of the coffee table, and the cat will step on it, thinking it’s just more coffee table, and therefore will support his weight.
I love the look on his face as he and the book go crashing to the floor. I’m an awful pet owner 'cause sometimes I put books there like that on purpose.
Pet-related:
When you proudly tell someone who’s never been to your home before about how well-behaved your dog is, and you look over just in time to see her pee on the new rug.
We had a very small dog named Stan who loved to get under the covers between me and my husband, and just fart away. I think he was a little sadistic–if he had his head near our heads, he’d do a 180 and put his little hiney up by our faces and fart away.
Sibling-related:
My Dad was in the Navy when I was born, and he learned how to cuss fluently. My brother and sister and I are all brilliant 
and we illustrated the lessons we learned.
One day we were on a road trip, and were all tired, hungry, and grouchy. Dad had some weird credit card like Diner’s Club or Carte Blanche, that wasn’t accepted too many places. We’d already stopped at several restaurants only to learn that none of them would take his card. We finally found a place that proudly advertised they took the card, and were all excited that we were finally going to get to eat. When we went in and Dad asked to make sure, it turned out they didn’t. We all walked dejectedly back to the car. Picture a tiny tow-headed blonde kid, angelic blue eyes, cute as a bug’s ear, saying “Son of a bitch!” My brother and I almost choked trying not to laugh, because we knew we’d get our butts busted as well.
And then there was the day a few years ago that my sister was driving us to our boss’s house in North Dallas and some woman was driving us off the road. My sister screamed, at the top of her lungs, that if she had some fucking floo powder, she wouldn’t be in that damn lady’s way. It was another of those situations where I knew that I would be instantaneously slain should I laugh, so I turned my head and stared out the passenger window, remaining silent and hoping that my sister couldn’t see the contortious of my face. It was a big relief when she finally announced that I could laugh.
So whenever one of us is getting cranky behind the wheel, the other offers some fucking floo powder.
http://www.dribbleglass.com/subpages/strange/speedbumps.htm
http://www.dribbleglass.com/subpages/strange/church-state.htm
http://www.dribbleglass.com/subpages/strange/thirsty.htm
I’ve just got to put this one into the record. A bunch of years ago, there I was, not quite a boy scout, not quite eleven years old, but still allowed to go with the local scout troop on a “camporee,” my first scout camp. A camporee was an annual event, IIRC, involving a bunch of the local troops. Games, skill competitions, et cetera.
On Sunday, the last day of the camp, I was myself sent out for a left-handed smoke shifter and a bacon stretcher. As per the joke, got sent around to various camps, always with the standard answer “nope, try those guys over there”. EXCEPT. The guys at one troop handed me 1) a tin can, opened at both ends, with a wire grill set over one end, and 2) a coat hanger wire bent to have hooks at each end, and twisted in the middle to give it what was arguably a spring in the middle. Anyhow, it completely served its purpose.
I brought these back to the jokers at my own camp. In absolute innocence. To what must have been absolutely dumbfounded looks.
I went off to wash my hands (well, it looked like the smoke shifter had been used - it was dirty), and when I came back, I was quietly told that they were done with those things and that I could return them.
I myself didn’t get the joke and counter-joke until some time later, but in these later days, it still continues to be a source of strength when I’m feeling down.
A lady at a corporate cubicle hell office I used to work at had her own coversheets copied with a little cheery, handwritten note on them.
“You’re No 1!” You know, like “you’re number one!” No period, though, to indicate an abbreviation. Not much of a space, either. It looked like she was degrading the recipient in leetspeek. Sent these to everyone. I still can’t get over it. So dumb, yet so funny.
This always get me giggling. Hell, even remembering it makes me laugh.
http://www.ic-gallery.com/displayimage.php?album=lastcom&cat=-32&pos=10
I’ve always got a laugh out of this photo.
When I was in college, most everyone had dry-erase message pads on the outsides of their doors for messages. Other folks would uses sticky-notes or index cards. Od course, everyone also made it a habit of reading the messages on other people’s doors just because. So one day, I wrote on a 4"x6" note card in the smallest handwriting I could eek out…
Nosey little mother-fucker, aren’t you?
The looks on people’s faces when they squinted to read it were priceless.
That guy is very funny.
LOL this is so brilliant.
A good ole’ fashioned Slow Clap gets me every time.
I recently walked into a KFC bathroom at a newer KFC restaurant. They have the 1 person restroom, which allows 1 customer at a time to go in and lock the door. It’s got a standard toilet as well as a urinal on the wall, and of course the sink. I walked in and locked the door and walked over to the urinal to take a leak. Unfortunately, (or fortunately) for me, someone had laid a big nasty lincoln log right in the urinal. There was no way that bad boy was flushing either since it was a nice solid turd. I immediately thought this was such a sweet prank - I only wish I had thought of it first. I went ahead and peed in the other toilet, washed up and headed out. On my way out of the men’s room a female worker was just going in to service the restroom. I hurried out through the hallway but still heard her reaction as she saw the giant turd, “Oh hell no, I’m not cleaning this today!” At that point I busted a gut, as she must have been blaming me for the turd she was going to have to pick up. I crack up every time I think of that and have retold the story over and over to my friends and family, it never gets old.
I am going to be sure to do this on occasion when visiting restaurants and gas stations, and especially when I get poor service… which is almost every time I go to a fast food place. Another variation of this is of course to remove the tank lid on the regular comode, and poop in the water tank, rather than the toilet bowl.
Why?
Why do I get the feeling you signed up just to tell that story? 
Ahh, yes, an “upper decker”. Something far funnier in imagining than in encountering, I’d suppose.
Anyhow, if we’re talking about things that always induce laughter, I’ve seen the movie Wayne’s World probably 100 times, and the scene where Stacey (played by Lara Flynn Boyle, before she was famouser) crashes her bike into a car makes me laugh out loud every time, even though I know it’s coming.
This clip never fails to make me giggle.
