The cracker aisle, which now always seems to have “Chicken in a Biscuit”, in different flavors. Haw haw haw!
I only thought about it because of the chicken juice above, BTW. Thanks, man. 
In one of our university building’s toilets, there’s a disabled cubicle with a sign on the door saying “Disabled users only”. Someone wrote “Scotsmen only” underneath it, to which there’s about ten angry replies from Scotsmen.
Makes me smile everytime I see it.
There’s a lecture theatre where someone wrote on the desk “100 ways to say shit”, to which loads of people have replied with their favourite slang words and phrases for having a dump. Some are quite imaginative and funny.
I have seen one similar to that. It was something like:
“People who write on bathroom walls
roll their shit in little balls.”
To which someone responded underneath:
“People who read these words of wit
eat those little balls of shit!”
Those workplace injury warning signs, showing the happy guy on the crosswalk sign being mangled, crushed, burned, and all other mishaps.
A little late, but never come to Oregon. You’d die of asphyxiation during the average winter here.
My favorite bathroom graffiti went something like:
“Some come here to sit and think,
and some come here to shit and stink.
But I come here to scratch my balls,
and read the writing on the walls.”
Damn near brings a tear to my eye.
This will probably be mine for a while:
I was sitting here, drinking a glass of water, and reading this very thread. My husband is in the bedroom. The open bedroom door is only about five feet away from me, but the dryer is on. He was talking to me, and I couldn’t quite hear him clearly enough.
I automatically picked up the remote control for my stereo system, aimed it his way, and was mystified as to why his volume didn’t go up.
Then I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. (And he’s now peeved because I “interrupted” him, and then didn’t ask him to continue. Sorry. Laughing too hard.)
I swear that if I EVER see a hand drie in a bathroom with little red lines…the bacon line is going up. I don’t care if its at a police station (I think it would be most fitting there 
)
And for those of you that have never seen this cat then I suggest you do. But if at work…sound down. Right down. Everytime I feel like crying, I look at this and instantly fall apart laughing.
I once cracked up at work…the boss had NO idea what was going on
This sticker.
Can’t see it without giggling. Any stick figure emitting lightning bolts = giggles.
Actually, upon closer inspection, that picture belongs to a whole gallery. Now I have a whole bunch of giggle material!
Here’s the gallery.
http://www.cs.utexas.edu/users/tbone/warningsigns/gallery.html
Please tell me you bought it. I would have bought it and displayed it proudly on my knickknack shelf. (Where I have a can of Tab I found in the depths of a convenience store fridge last year. )
But of course! A chicken in a cocktail dress? What’s more kitsch (sp?) than that?!
More funny bathroom graffitti: my high school in Miami had some gangs, and offshoots of gangs called “crews” that specialized in graffitti. This was no secret, everyone knew it. I was a quiet, studious nerd who played sax in the jazz band, so I stayed out of people’s way and didn’t know what the criminal element was up to. But there was always cryptic bathroom graffitti that seemed to be crews leaving messages for each other. They all had names like The International Posse and The Miami Clan, and some of the messages were quite raunchy–often about people’s moms, and what they allegedly did to each other’s moms.
So one day there was new graffitti by a crew called “The Frijoles Clan,” which was hilarious in itself because frijoles is Spanish for “beans.” And instead of the usual profanity, this one said “The Frijoles Clan had intimate carnal knowledge of your mother!” I cracked up, and hurried the hell out of the bathroom so nobody would kick my ass. By the next day, there was an addendum scrawled below: “The Frijoles Clan has had intimate carnal knowledge of EVERYONE’S mother!” That’s good comedy.
You’ve made me a happy man, rinni.
Dude, first the deeez nuutz schtick and now this? I think we have the same brain, because both crack me up until no end.
You can also use “deenda” for “deenda mah dick in your mouth” or “malone” for “malone (my long) dick in your mouth”
God, SCTV had a million of them:
John Candy as “Peppi Longstocks”; when the other kids just started bugging him he picked them up, about three or four under each arm, and spun them all around and threw them. And they were so obviously fake dummies; that’s what made it funny.
Or Celebrity Half-Wits, where the contestants were just so unbelievably dumb.
Emcee: And what do you do?
Andrea Martin: I work for Mr Smith.
Emcee: And what does Mr. Smith do?
Andrea Martin: He’s the boss.
Emcee: Name an article of clothing you would find in a bedroom.
John Candy: A chest of drawers, Neil?
Martin Short as Ed Grimley. Any Ed Grimley bit.
Aside from these, I’d say that bad special effects always get a chuckle out of me. There’s a Three Stooges short where they have inveigled their way into a posh party of some sort, and at one point they throw a pineapple at the back of a man’s head. You see the pineapple fly across the room, but there’s a little dip in its trajectory because it was obviously swinging on a string. Besides that, the fruit seems to “float” across the room, as if it were weightless.
Yay cheesy special FX. Always good for a laugh.
And never forget SNL’s “Celebrity Jeopardy.”
I could watch the same skit ten times in a row and laugh just as hard the tenth time.
“You think you’re pretty smart, don’tcha, Trebek? With your Dago mustache and your greasy hair!”
“Once again, three perfectly good charities have been deprived of money today on Celebrity Jeopardy …”
Matthew Perry as Michael Keaton cracked me up–not only was every answer “I’m Batman,” but his Final Jeopardy questions was “George Clooney Sucks.”
“$25 fine for eating urinal cakes”
And our own “penis ensues” gets me every time.
How about if they are dressed as, and working as, police officers?
While on vacation once, my neighbor allowed friends to park in my driveway. We lived in a small gated community with a two officer police dept. My neighbor discribed the two officers creeping, in opposite directions, around my house, guns drawn, heading toward certain disaster. (each other)