Stop the presses! Glenn Beck has said something wacky again!
Of course, one of the many things Glenn Beck isn’t saying is whatever it is that the Japanese are doing that they should stop doing. So since we’re left to guess what he might mean, let’s do…
The Top Ten Things The Japanese Should Stop Doing Right Now
**10. Scraping the bottom of the Pokémon trash barrel. Literally.
9. Writing in that language that looks like a Space Invaders game.
8. Beating us at hot dog eating contests.
7. Slaughtering whales and dolphins. Did you think the undersea earthquake was a coincidence? Be warned: the crab monsters show up next week.
6. The whole schoolgirl obsession thing . Seriously, it’s creepy.
5. Making awesome horror flicks.
4. Paying American celebrities to make ridiculous ads.
3. Making better cars than us.
2. Bombing Pearl Harbor.
And the number 1 Thing The Japanese Should Stop Doing Right Now:
Disclaimer: the above is acknowledged to be extremely un-PC and is presented entirely for humorous purposes. No serious intent to blame the victims of past, current or future tragedies for their misfortunes is in any way intended. My heart genuinely goes out to the Japanese people at this time of sorrow.