Things the Japanese should stop doing, or what Glenn Beck isn't saying

Stop the presses! Glenn Beck has said something wacky again!

Of course, one of the many things Glenn Beck isn’t saying is whatever it is that the Japanese are doing that they should stop doing. So since we’re left to guess what he might mean, let’s do…

The Top Ten Things The Japanese Should Stop Doing Right Now

**10. Scraping the bottom of the Pokémon trash barrel. Literally.
9. Writing in that language that looks like a Space Invaders game.
8. Beating us at hot dog eating contests.
7. Slaughtering whales and dolphins. Did you think the undersea earthquake was a coincidence? Be warned: the crab monsters show up next week.
6. The whole schoolgirl obsession thing . Seriously, it’s creepy.
5. Making awesome horror flicks.
4. Paying American celebrities to make ridiculous ads.
3. Making better cars than us.
2. Bombing Pearl Harbor.
And the number 1 Thing The Japanese Should Stop Doing Right Now:

Pachinko!**

Disclaimer: the above is acknowledged to be extremely un-PC and is presented entirely for humorous purposes. No serious intent to blame the victims of past, current or future tragedies for their misfortunes is in any way intended. My heart genuinely goes out to the Japanese people at this time of sorrow.

Very funny! But not really Pit material.

Moved to MPSIMS.

What he actually wants them to stop doing is being Japanese. They should do and say and eat and think like what upright normal people do. In other words they should quit being so damn Japanese and should be proper people. You know: Americans.

:dubious:

Tentacle porn. GOTTA stop with the tentacle porn.

They should do THIS more, though. :slight_smile:

I think we need a new rule. Something like Godwin’s law… in any thread about Japan the probability of some mentioning tentacle porn approaches 1.

Funny. I post in many Japanese threads and very few of them contain a mention of it.

But it’s traditional [link is safe for work and life].

It just goes to show you: take any controversial art and wait a couple of centuries, and it will be the subject of scholarly studies and museum exhibits. I look forward to the Royal Ontario Museum’s exhibits on gangsta rap in 2190.

Enough with the sideways vaginas already.

They stopped beating us at hot-dog eating contests a few years ago. Apparently it didn’t help.

I did consider both “tentacle porn” and “being Japanese” but decided that the former fit under the “schoolgirl” one and the latter was too snarky.

And I put it in the Pit in case of a Beck hijack and/or someone getting genuinely offended but so far, so good.

I was thinking more of the internet in general than the SDMB. At least, the silly parts of the internet that I hang out at.

Is there supposed to be something under all those spoiler tags? Is it just me that can’t see them? Does this mean I am Japanese?

I’d be worried if Glenn Beck started denouncing tentacle porn. Because then we’d have to dread the inevitable scandal when he gets caught in some public restroom with an underage octopus.

“I’m not saying God caused the earthquake, but there’s a message being sent?” LOL WUT? That’s reaching pretty low for even his level of JAQing off.

Okay, now the spoiler tags work, weird.

They only did #2 once, in 1941 for 90 minutes.

Eh, I direct my outrage not at Glenn Beck, but at anybody who takes him seriously anymore…

But they didn’t not stop not doing it, did they?