From this article, http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&cid=573&ncid=757&e=1&u=/nm/20030410/od_nm/odd_britain_knifethrower_dc on Yahoo’s Oddly Enough section:
This man’s profession?
After being hit twice previously, Yana is now looking for another job. (It took three times before she figured out that being this guy’s assistant wasn’t the best gig in the circus?!? Sounds like a Springer episode to me: “Women Who Love Men Who Throw Knives At Them.”)
“Why did I change the password on the budget headcount file? Um, well, see, it’s like this…”
Nice tits.
You’re fired.
“Hey man, would you do me a favor …?”
So, would Rochester (100 miles away) be too much of a daily commute for you?
Heeeey…you’re wife’s cute…
Especially if you’re male!
Friday, 10 minutes before my weekend departure:
“We’re having a meeting.”
Did YOU leave these kneepads in my office?
“you’re not doing anything this weekend, are you?”
“you’ll have your cell phone on, right?”
“we’re going to be doing a little re-organizing”
“I can’t access my email from my laptop.”
Well, did you bother to plug it into the network, you dork?!
–IDB
“I strenuously avoid putting on paper anything that might jeopardize my job.”
That’ll give a guy a sinking feeling.
“The company is laying off 15,000 people next week, but your job won’t be affected.”
“From now on, can you put a cover sheet on those TPS reports? Thanks.”
I wasted my 666th post on THAT? :smack:
I had a former boss who told me that. He also stated (verbatim) “Your sister’s cute - I bet she looks good naked” Regarding my then 17 (18?) year old sister.
Anything that involves “a little chat,” as in “Linty, would you meet me in my office for a little chat?” I don’t know why bosses say that anymore, because the original intent seemed to be to soften some sort of blow. Just a “friendly” little chat that might very well wind up in the presentation of a pink slip.
One of my bosses used to drive me crazy like this. She’d say that she’d be over to my cubicle for a “little chat” in about 10 minutes.
I’d spend the next 15 minutes biting my nails until she came over(She wasn’t really a stickler for punctuality.), and then when she’d come over, she’d just start talking about her daughter and her life and her childhood, and I’d be there fidgiting while trying not to scream “Will you get to the frigging point??!” for the next 20 minutes until I figured out that when she said “a little chat” she meant it literally. She just liked to talk, and I guess she thought I was a good listener. It never occured to her that “a little chat” could have negative connotations.
And people wonder why I have high blood pressure. :dubious:
“Hello D_Odds” (especially if he used ‘D_Odds’!) Best days at work are when either he or I are out of the office.
“We’ve got a problem.”
Meaning: “I’ve got a problem, and I’m giving it to you.”
“The big boss’ daughter is graduating next month from (insert college of your choice here) and will be needing a job. <<pause>>. I’m sure you have nothing to worry about.”