“Your committee thinks you should be working 12 hours a day.”
Or the best (forgot to mention it)…
“Hey Emp[name changed to protect the… well, me]! We just had a tour bus full of elderly Germans show up, and we need you to take them on a tour of the museum”
Bearing in mind that we don’t offer tours, and as such, it all has to be done off of the top of my head as I go along. That, and the fact that our museum is tiny (takes about 30 seconds, if that, to walk the length of the building) and is mostly devoted toward children, which are pretty much the exact polar opposite of elderly Germans.
Ahh… fun times.
“Can I see you in my office?”
This actually happened today. And it’s always bad. My boss will monitor our chronic mistakes for months before doing anything about it, making us feel all the worse since we had no idea we were screwing up.
I managed to stall going in for 10 minutes to stiffen my composure.
“Please shut the door.” Oh shit. It’s gonna be really bad.
“You’ve won the (insert professional organization) Laboratory Analyst of the Year award.”
::blink-blink:: WTF?
YAHOOOOO!!!
“So, how do you feel about…[doing something odious about which my feelings matter not a jot, but he/she thinks that I’ll react more positively if it’s at least posed to me in the form of a gentle question, rather than an order.]”
Ugh.
“I have an expensive wife.”- said by former EDS CEO Dick Brown, on being asked how he could justify a $55 million salary when the stock price was tanking and layoffs were ripping the heart out of the company.
while waving his arms about like a lunatic and screaming
“YEEEE-HAW! IT’S TIME TO ENJOY THE FUN PARADE OF KITTENS AND MILK?!?! I DESTROY THE WALL!! FEET BALLOONS???”
Man, congratulations! I didn’t know meth labs had awards…
“So, did anyone have sex last night besides me?”
I actually had a boss who would cheerfully come into work and ask that.
So what is this “Straight Dope” thing? :eek:
He had an expensive goodbye too. Why do companies pay crappy CEOs to leave? I’ve never lost the company billions and yet if I get fired I won’t get anything!
Blackclaw- At that level, it’s because it’s more incestuous than a Greek Pantheon. It’s entirely possible that some of the BOD of EDS will move on to become BOD members for some other company that Dick works for in the future, and he will remember who greased his… palm.
To me, it’s one of the biggest flaws with the American Corporate system.
Back to the OP:
“What’s that tattoo? Death? What are you, some kind of supremacist?”- said by my boss when he noticed my Kanji tattoo. Moron.