Things you probably won't ever get to say to them.

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
141

To Grant: You took a girl I was absolutely crazy about away from me. Since then I have done nothing but try and keep the two of you happy but I dont think our friendship is going to recover because when it comes right down to it: YOU ARE COMPLETLY FUCKING WRONG FOR HER! and it is only a matter of time before your weakness come to the fore and all three of us get fucked. In spite of this you are still my best friend and I love you man.

To the writers of the TV series ‘Robotech’ and ‘The Real Ghostbusters’: your cheesy science ficiton gave an impressionable young victim the absolute conviction that if he stuck by his friends and did his best even the biggest of bullies could be overcome. You were right. We won. It’s about 13 years on and I am more certain each day that without the faith in my convictions that your TV shows gave me I would have stayed a victim my whole life.

142

In the middle of a complex thread in the Pit, I found this gem:

You definitely did the right thing in that situation. But you approached the situation in a tactful, sympathetic way that most people would not.

I’ve been in situations similar to your friend’s. Sometimes there was nothing I could do, like with my Tourette’s. Sometimes I could have changed, like when my hair lacked a part (must really have looked awful). Sometimes there was no purpose to my being told what I was told, like “This guy in my gym class said you’re the ugliest girl in the school” (I wasn’t ugly at all). But in all cases, the focus was on the fact that people were laughing at me, or talking shit about me. Which upset me, and made me paranoid, thinking it must be already too late to change, so why bother?

You helped her a lot, both by suggesting a way to change, and by keeping the text of the hurtful comments from her. If you’d simply told her the remarks that were circulating, she would have been devastated, and probably have shunned you as the messenger, while continuing to eat as a solace and gaining more weight. Few people would approach the situation as you did, but you did do it. Bless you.

143

Mum & Dad : I forgive you.

144

To the girl on the train,

I’ve seen you on the way to school more times than I can count, a couple of times a week for the past few semesters. We arrive downtown on the same train, we walk to the same subway platform, we get off at the same stop, at the school that we both attend. I think you are very attractive and would love to get to know you. Trouble is I’m too scared. Scared of what, you might ask? I’m not sure.

Maybe I’m scared that I won’t know what to say and I’ll make an ass of myself. Entirely possible. Maybe I’m scared that you won’t want anything to do with me. Again, quite possible. Maybe I’m scared that if I talk to you and show you who I really am, and you don’t like who I am, that it will mean that there is something wrong with me. Maybe I’m afraid of getting hurt, and there’s no chance of getting hurt if I don’t let you know me. Maybe I’m afraid of all these things. Even if that is the case, I’ve always thought that someday I’d get up the courage to approach you.

Unfortunately, I graduate in two weeks. So I’m not going to have many more chances. In fact, I may not ever get another chance.

I guess what scares me the most is that I’ll never really know what might have happened if I had just said “Hi”. One little syllable.

I don’t even know your name.

-Air

145

To ** Cecil Adams, Ed Zotti, The Chicago Reader et al**
Thank you for your books. Your writing makes me think and laugh out loud at the same time. Thank you for the Straight Dope and perhaps unintentionally, creating Dopers and the birth of Dopefests.

I have made more geniune and true friends from this board in two years than I have in my previous 32 years. I met the man I’ve been waiting for, for 11 years through this board and it is my great fortune that I will become Mrs. Cynical within the year. I have been to gatherings in other cities and met some of the best people in the world and been blessed by their friendship and generosity.
It’s a comforting thought that no matter where I might have to travel in this world, there’s will probably be a Doper near by to help out or just say hi.

The statemant on the homepage says it all: **Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks. **

Thank you Dopers. My world is a better place with all of you in it.
(well, maybe not ALL of you…those of you who get ‘the memo’ know who you are)

I love you Mr. Cynical or Mr. Creant. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. And while I tell you this all the time, I just thought I’d let everyone know.

And that my friends ends the most serious post I will probably ever make on this board. I now return you to your regularly scheduled sarcasm.

146

To all you fun folks who always told me to get a haircut when I was younger (may seem insignificant, but I promise it wasn’t):

I have long hair now. People enjoy it. I enjoy it and them. No, I’m not stereotypical. No, I’m not what you’d consider normal.

What a relief it is not to feel I should strive to be such.

147

I hate to say it but while not quite depressing it is close. Now to do the somber bit.

Valerie: I am sorry we were not able to keep in touch I miss you so much, I wish we could still talk. I regret putting her before you but that is something you should understand since you did it the whole time we knew each other. I hope life works out well for you, you deserve to be happy.

Brandon: Yeah Yeah, you’re my brother and I love you. Things haven’t been the same since you moved away. I hope the right thing happens for you.

Merlin: You’re a good man charlie brown and about as good of a friend as I can Imagine. I know I can be a self-centered egotistical pain in the ass sometime, and don’t exactly know how you can stand living in the same house as me, but you have made my life better for knowing you, kind of makes us even for high school eh?

Melody: I know you thought you loved me and maybe you did, I was not ready for that. I know I can be a little bit standoffish at times and didn’t let you ever get close to “me”. Still you are remembered fondly and I wish you all the best.

Veronica I: I thank you for making me grow up at such a young age, what you put me through expanded my horizons considerably. I am glad the drugs are behind you, and that your daughter is doing well. I am sorry I let you get that hotel room and stood you up the last time we saw each other, it was petty but it did make me feel better at the time.

V II, L, S, K, that blonde girl: I am sorry I did not go over to your house with the intention of sleeping with you, I in no way wanted a relationship at that time. I did handle it badly and my apologies.

Unnamed: I haven’t known you long enough to like you this much, it’s driving me crazy. I am not used to this, I am a little scared.

Mike Barker: I hate you and hope you spend eternity doing your little Big 2 News thing with a molten LPGA trophy up your ass.

Thank you and have a nice day.

Clever Hans: This thread has put of therapy by two years. Thanks jarbabyj

148

To CAN:
You came along at a time in my life when I really needed someone who cared. You were loving and caring and kind. You were also a beautiful woman who probably never heard how much often enough.
It’s a crying shame that some people go through life without ever knowing how much they are appreciated and admired. I thought the world of you when we first met…I still do. And after all this time, I still care for you.
It wasn’t our time…not then, probably not ever. We both know that. But I will never let go of these feelings, even though I know they could never be reciprocated with the same depth or passion. You will always be in my heart.
And, for what it’s worth, you are a beautiful woman…I know you never really believed me when I said so, but you have no idea. Some day, I hope that you can look at yourself in a mirror and see yourself as others see you…as I see you. Maybe then, you’ll understand. And you’ll know. And you’ll believe.

You are beautiful.

Thank you for everything. I love you.

149

(I felt like ressurecting a thread, so sue me)
Okay, this piece of writing is utter BS. She wanted that guy badly, and made no secret about it, once everything had blown over. She’s manipulative and oftentimes dull. Only some days do I see what I liked about her.

150

Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

I want to smash myself over the head with a frozen tuna for ever thinking we had something. In retrospect, I really believe you were gay. I double-kick myself that I never confronted you with this suspicion while we were dating or in the process of losing touch. Now, years later, I still wonder and would be somehow relieved if you confirmed this for me, but I know we’ll never speak again.

151

As much as I hate to keep such an old thread alive (to hijack it, no less), I’m so excited that I had to post an update.

After many years of searching, I finally managed to track him down! He placed a personal on a website and I responded to it. He replied just a few minutes ago–and he remembers me!

I’m at a loss for words to describe how excited I am, so I’ll return you to your regularly scheduled thread. :slight_smile:

152

To Chris
A game of Literati with you makes me happier than a dozen roses ever could. Even your occasional Marv Albertian outbursts of “OH, THAT’S GOTTA HURT!” You’ve always been honest with me, sometimes brutally, and I appreciate it more than I let you know. Have to keep that ego in check, after all. :slight_smile:

You were a tough nut to crack with the sweetest treat inside once I broke through your walls. You’re a keeper.

153

Here you go you little hardball tarts you

Brady!

154

To Pam:

I still think about you every day.
MC$E

155

To the ex: I forgive you. May you find and know peace and healing.

To my late grandfather: the child I was hadn’t the vocabulary or experience to grasp how aging was trapping you inside yourself. You were just the sometimes-scary old man prone to incoherent swearing rants. My clearest memory of you, though, was the time I was down in the basement, shooting some pool on that old warped table, and you came down and played through a game, and were lucid, and I got to see the man that was before failing flesh started taking away your brain’s ability to show it. I’m very grateful that you could.

To an ex-manager at previous job: the reason no one, absolutely no one, respected you is that you were an abject coward and liar. You should really stop that–they’re bad habits.

To that neighbor a few blocks west: I occasionally see you out walking your dog, that big bright-eyed german shepherd sans leash, who doesn’t need one because of how thoroughly he’s been trained. It really warms my heart to see someone who’s clearly taken the time to work with their pet.

156

To JL:
I really meant what I said. It is how I felt, but you completely misunderstood and I couldn’t put what I wanted to say into words. I hope you figure out how to finally take charge of your life for once, because neither I nor anyone else can do it for you.

To AH:
I still think about you every time I go back home. You probably moved far away and married that guy, despite all the stuff we talked about. I wish I knew how to reach you, or if you’d ever want to speak to me again, or if we’d even have anything to say to one another. After all, we got on each other’s nerves plenty of times when we were speaking.

To JMS:
I still love you. There, I said it. If, after all this time, that makes me the weak one, then so be it. I don’t know why we had to act so adversarial after everything anyway. I should have known that there could never be room for me in your life. I also have to honestly wonder if this was how you envisioned your life turning out.

Also, to my late grandfather:
I feel terrible that I can only remember a few occasions spent with you, and few of them fondly. You always seemed so gruff and ill-tempered; had you ever said a kind word to anyone? Were we that much of a disappointment to you?
I’ll try to find a way to get all that music out there. And I’ll tell Dad to stop buying the CD so others can have it. :wink:

157

You,
You ignorant woman in checkout #4.
You are all that is wrong in my world!
Did you not hear the same announcement as I – “I’ll take someone here.”? Your indecision, your failure to pick up your purchase and move, your CHOICE is what caused your displeasure. I left plenty of time for you to take advantage of our opportunity. That’s right, OUR opportunity. You sat on it, I grabbed it. As I rang through, paid, and beat feet, you complained about my forward behavior to the perfect stranger behind you in line. At checkout #4. While I, at #3, smoked you.

Take responsibility for your own inaction. Instead of blaming me, understand that you were too lazy to lift your bread and move four feet with it.

I’d bet a paycheck that you voted for Al Gore.

Have a fine day!

158

To Stacey: I wish we could have remained friends. I wish my mother hadn’t said what she said about you and I wish you hadn’t heard it. I wish I’d been twenty-seven, instead of seven, and that I could have saved what we had.

I wish I hadn’t seen you last year; I wish I didn’t know what a horrible adolescence you had. I wish I could remember you, always, as the happy little girl who happened to be my favorite friend in the whole wide world.

To Professor Flowers: You probably don’t remember me, but I took your Victorian Lit class four years ago and whenever I become discouraged, I look over my papers and read your notes. I wish I could tell you what an inspiration they are. You’re the reason people go to college; I wish there were more of you.

To the guy who tipped me two packages of peanut M&M’s: You’re so full of it that it’s coming out your ears, buddy. Say what you want about not respecting women; you’re the reason more women don’t respect men. Kiss my ass and go to hell.

And take your freaking M&M’s with you! Maybe they’ll melt in your hands along with the rest of you, you…grrrrrr

To the two starving doggies who ate my pizza for dinner: I hope you found a good home, grew thick shiny coats, and wagged a thousand times daily. I wish I had been able to save you; if I’d had a backyard and it wasn’t two in the morning, I would have kept you forever. I thought you’d be there in the morning; I left you big bowls of water and lots of kibble. I was going to take you to a rescue organization. I was going to save you.

I hope someone did. I hope you didn’t end the way I imagine you did. I hope I never see another dog who looks anything like the two of you; I hope whoever let you go can’t sleep at night.

I hope, if you met a bad end, that they meet a worse one.

159

To my parents:

I realized when you came to visit for Thanksgiving that this could be your last visit. Both of you are getting frail. I just wish you were able to talk about it with me. I’d like to know, if it comes to one or both of you no longer being able to care for yourselves, what you want me to do. But you seem to be in major denial that something like that could happen. I don’t know why - both your mothers ended up having to go to nursing homes when they got too sick to care for at home, so you know it could happen to you too. If things stay the way they are, there could be a crisis and no serious decisions should be made in crisis mode. I also know, Mom, that if Dad dies first and arrangements need to be made for you, that you’ll hate any and all decisions I might make for you, so I especially would like to know from you what you want me to do. Since you are blind, you will need some sort of help and I don’t want anyone taking advantage of you.

To Mrs. K: Thanks for talking to my parents about the above situation. It didn’t help, but you tried, and for that I thank you! And I admire you for doing what my parents can’t seem to do - make a decision about how you would be cared for in your old age. I’m sure your son is very grateful that you did that - he’s 500 miles away from his mom just like I am from mine, and he doesn’t have to worry about you being all right. I will call or write soon - I know your 91st birthday is coming up soon. I wish you could have 90 more.

R: I hope you know that I loved you with all my heart and the day you died I wanted to die too. Especially because I had to make the decision to let you go. I hope I did the right thing for you … and if I didn’t I hope you can forgive me. I hope wherever you are you are happy and know that I will always love you, and if there is any chance of us ever being together again, there isn’t anything more I want in the world than that.

R: I am sorry that things ended the way they did. I think we probably did some things that made things harder for you and didn’t help your health at all. I wish you had been with us longer and that I hadn’t been under so much stress at the end. I love you and miss you too, and I hope the year and a half we were together was a good time for you. And I hope you too can forgive me if we didn’t do the right thing.

160

Sam

I miss you so much. You were one of the coolest people I’ve ever known, and I feel lucky for having had the oppourtunity to be close to you for awhile. I will always be angry and hurt that you shunned me the way you did, when all I ever did for you was be there for you, give you money, sleep with you and fall in love with you, and I really wish I knew what happened with Cindy to make things so weird. The best I can figure is that you told her what happened between us, and if that’s the case then I can totally understand why she would hate me and why our friendship would have to end. But you didn’t have to end it like that, Sam. You didn’t have to cut me out of your life the way we used to cut out those people we decided weren’t cool enough to hang out with us. After all you and I went through together, I think I deserved better. I think I deserved an explanation. I hope you enjoyed the Negativland concert, because most of it was ruined for me after you totally ignored me when I came up and said hi to you. I wonder if you think of me sometimes. I hope your family is well; I wish I could have met your kids.
Nick

You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my entire life. I know you hear that all the time, but I mean it. Something about your face hypnotizes me, haunts me…I draw you sometimes, glaring, sulking, smoking. I write poetry for you. Sometimes I think I am obsessed with you, but if I am I don’t care. Thinking of you makes my world a better place to be in, and I feel enriched having you and your music in my life. You are a genius; I don’t know how one person can contain so much creativity, so many beautiful words. I don’t even know that I could fuck you if I had the chance…I think just touching you would burn me.