Things you regret overhearing

I expect there have probably been threads about overheard chunks of conversation before, but I don’t remember any recent ones, so I’m starting this one, inspired by the following tidbit I just heard someone say in the office:

"They had to remove part of her cranium, and guess where they put it? In her abdomen!!"

Dear lord. I’m glad I didn’t hear the rest of that conversation.

Anybody else overheard something that you wish you hadn’t?
Kn(whose cranium is most assuredly not in her abdomen)ckers

My wife telling her sisters that I have an “adequate sized” penis, but she had been with a few guys w bigger ones, and she “really enjoyed that.”


Overheard two mice talking.

I overheard my at the time GF’s father tell his wife that he was going to make my GF join the Army the day she turned 17, this was in September a few days before her birthday. I was 19 and in the Navy at the time. Later that night we announced we were going to get married the following February. We ended getting married in November instead. Looking back, I should have let her go in the Army.

Hearing, with much detail, that the 300+ pound, very butch, very hairy lesbian here at work had a particularly, uh, “zesty” session of sex with her similarly sized partner in the kitchen, breaking the table. With the added note that “it was bound to break sooner or later”.

The very same kitchen table that had been used to prepare all of those snacks that she brought in to work over the previous year. I am so thankful that I instinctively stayed away from any food she made. Well, not so much instinct as her perpetually filthy fingernails. I don’t wanna know, really.

Yeah, I have horrible friends. I’ve overheard more of them partaking in some sexual act – while I was in the same room – than I can even try to count without taking off my shoes.

That email I got last week from my sister-in-law’s friend, which illustrated in painstaking detail just what my sister-in-law thought of my husband. It wasn’t meant to be sent to us; the friend mis-addressed it. I’ve spent many sleepless nights sick over the whole thing, and I’m still not sure what I’m gonna do about it.

I wish I’d never heard.

I didn’t overhear this, I was told, but it’s just as uncomfortable-making in its way. A friend of mine informed me that the guy she was dating, who I KNEW, had the biggest penis she’d ever seen. “I was skeptical when he brought out the box of Magnums but he really needs them!” she said cheerfully.

I never could look at him again without thinking about his penis. This is not something I want to think about somebody else’s boyfriend.