You’re welcome. My wife just reminded me that this story happened at Easter Dinner :eek: 
“Wow, honey, I never believed all those stories you told me about your family were true before today.”
Heh. I have a new favorite joke now. And it’s one that’ll go over real well with the devout-Catholic side of my family.
United Methodists can dance. Free Methodists, not so much.
You’d think it would be harder to dance if you’re united, but…
umm… nevermind…
Not to mention easier if you’re free…
Do the Food Bit: Refuse to eat most of it, criticize it for being unhealthy/dead animals/non-Atkings/milk. etc. Criticize the people who eat it, telling them “I almost married someone else, but they actually drank sugared soda.” Do this ad nauseum, all day.
Tell me about it. Free Methodists have absolutely no rhythm.
Offer a cash prize to the winner of the circle jerk.
Mace the first person you catch looking at your wife, male or female.
Keep referring to your wife as the place holder for your girlfriend.
When being introduced to the female relatives, keep asking “Is this the one that gives free hand jobs?” Ditto the males, come to think of it.
Pull her mother aside and confess that you only married the daughter to be closer to the mother. Bring flowers.
Offer to show people your condom collection, even though your collection consists of one condom, which you’re wearing.
Tell everyone you’re “going commando” and ask if they want to see.