From The Amazing Race:
Flo: I’m sorry for acting like a bitch. I’ll shut up, now.
Chip: Hey, check out the guns on that hoochie!
From Monk: Uh-oh, I put the towel back crooked. Bah, I’ll fix it later.
From 24:
KGS: Hey, that was a great cliffhanger to end season two with. I can’t wait for the next day to start!
I could be mistaking her for someone else. Didn’t she flash the audience on his show?
Scrubs: Dr. Cox “JD! That was a spectacular diagnosis! Only you would have thought of testing for sleeping sickness…you are a fantastic doctor. How about we meet up for beers after the shift?”
Quantum Leap: Dr. Sam Beckett “So Gushy says if I mess with the time line everyone dies? Okay, I’m going to sit back and drink some coffee and take a nap.”
Shaggy: Piss off, Scrappy, no-one likes you.
“Cheers” :
Norm: Well, I’m off to the gym and then I’m going to spend the evening with Vera.
Gilligan’s Island: I say we kill the skinny incompetent freak and we’ll be off this island in no time! Who’s with me?
Barney Rubble: “Screw you Fred, I am tired of being your bitch!”
Bam Bam: “Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom”
Fred: “Man my legs are tired, when will someone finally invent a gasoline powered engine?”
The Late Show with David Letterman:
Paul Shaffer: Jesus, Dave, that joke was so not funny. Criminy!
Friends: “I’m saving myself for marriage.”
X-Files: “There must be a perfectly normal scientific explanation for this.”
60 Minutes: “We tried all week to find someone doing something crooked, but we came up empty.”
Scarborough Country on MSNBC: “Bush might have been wrong.”
Fear Factor: “There’s just some things I won’t do for money.”
Star Trek: TNG
Picard: “Mister LaForge, the warp drive is shot, shields are at 0%, life support is failing, and we’re heading for the Giant Spacetime Ripple. What do you suggest we do?”
Geordi: “I suggest we get down on our knees and beg to God for our lives, because we are up shit’s creek!”
No, with her back to the audience she stood on his desk and flashed Dave and Dave alone. He loved it. (I think. Hard to tell with Dave.)
On Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
Giles:I’m sorry, Buffy, you’re just going to have to realize that it’s just not all about you.
On The West Wing:
Bartlett:Aren’t Republicans nifty?
DS9: Garak: “Dr. Bashir, please come into my shop. It’s time I told you everything.”
Major Kira: “You know, Quark, I never realized how lovely your ears look in the moonlight.”
Kai Winn: “No, I must go. Perhaps my death will help our people.”
Captain Kirk: “I’m sorry miss, you’re very lovely, but I can’t have sex wth you. You’re a different species than me.”
No, no, no.
Sam leaps into the body of a starship captain. But since he cannot make right what is wrong with Enterprise, he’s doomed to be stuck there for seven years.
Reality, that’s another thread…What Happens When Your Favorite Shows Cross Over.
24’s Jack Bauer: “I shouldn’t do this, I could get killed!”
24’s Kim Bauer: “I shouldn’t do this, I could get killed!”
Roseanne: “You’re right, Dan/Leon/Darlene/Mark/Jackie…”
Jerry Seinfeld: “Good idea, Kramer!”
Troy, Jerry did tell Kramer one of his ideas was good. When Kramer told Jerry about his idea for a bladder inside oil tankers, he remarked it was a good idea.
Star Trek:
Dr. “Bones” McCoy: Oh sure, I know all about that. I study up on that subject in my spare time…well, I AM more than just the ship’s DOCTOR you know!"
Dr. “Bones” McCoy (again): He’s alive, Jim.
David Letterman:
David Letterman: “Our next guest is the ugly and untalented…”
“I Love Lucy”:
Ricky: Dammit, you brainless, clumsy, meddling bitch! Do you think I like living with a scatterbrained jackass of a wife??
“Three’s Company”:
Any of them: “Hey, didn’t a situation just like this one happen exactly a week ago?”
“Gilligan’s Island”:
Any of them: “We’ve got just about everything we need to survive on this tropical paradise of an island. Anything we do need can easily be made out of coconut shells and bamboo. Why the hell do the rest of you want to go home?”
“I Love Lucy”
Lucy: “You know Ethel, I’m just going to tell Ricky the truth.”