Love’s yet to be involved with any of my partners.
Yes
Yes
Yes
I’m 90% sure yes.
She was my first but I was her third or fourth. I was way in love, as 17-year-olds are wont to do, and I believe she was in love with me. We dated for 2 1/2 years through college, and for a time I thought I was going to marry her. That… didn’t work out. Turns out she had lied to me about some stuff, and she had gone through some other stuff before we met (that I DID know about) that made her a whole lot more street-wise than me, and maybe a little jaded too. When she broke up with me I was pretty devastated - although, on a side note, a girl I met right around the time of our breakup helped me get through it all and became a lifelong friend -and friend ONLY. Yes! I have an attractive female friend that I have never attempted to have sex with!
That was a scarily-long 19 years ago. It took me a looooong time to remember anything other than how badly it ended; but yes, I do believe that we were both in love.
No X 4
We were buddies in HS. If she was between BFs and I was between GFs we would go out.
Afterwards we lost track of each other. At our 20 year reunion we sat and started talking it was like we had never been apart.
We have been the closest of friends since then. We talk or email weekly.
When she got married a few years ago I walked her down the aisle and gave her away.
I was 17 and in love with him. He was 19 and I thought at the time that he was in love with me. I don’t think now that he was, just a 19 year old bloke who was ruled by his penis.
At the time, did you believe you were in love with that first bedmate?
No, not at all. I was single and happy to stay that way, but I was a university first-year and had decided I was ready to give sex a try. He was a friend/acquaintance who I knew was easygoing, friendly and had a short history (I was 18 and he was 19, so we’re only talking 2-3 years of romantic “history” here) of short-term girlfriends who he’d parted on good terms with and was still friends with. I figured he would be both fun to actually have sex with (and competent enough to help me with weird, awkward and difficult stuff if it came up) and good at not letting it hang over our relationship afterwards. All of this turned out to be true! I used the traditional student mating ritual of getting blind drunk at Wetherspoons and backing him into a corner booth.
At the time, did you believe that person was in love with you?
No, not at all, see above.
In retrospect, do you still believe you were in love with that first bedmate?
I do actually wish we’d slept together more than just the once; it was really pleasant but I was very insistent with myself that it not turn into A Thing (he was really lovely and treated me as a good friend afterwards, waiting for me to make another move if I wanted to and not pressuring me at all). I think we could have had really nice sex a few more times. He was one of the top two sex partners I’ve ever had, and when you consider that (1) it was my first time and (2) my husband and I have a LOT more practice, that’s pretty remarkable.
Yes to all. It was pretty beautiful, and my memories of him are entirely good, gentle and sweet.
23 years ago.
No to all.
40 years ago.
No to all four.
I don’t remember him well, but I do remember definitely feeling like I was settling in some way. He just seemed…kind of yuck. Isn’t that horrible? But I did like him, to an extent.
He liked me enough too, but about four months later he told me over the phone he was going back to his ex. I remember saying, “Oh, that’s a brave thing to do over the phone. See you.” I think I felt sorry for myself for about five minutes.
In retrospect, he was completely and totally wrong for me, and I remember my dad’s relief when I told him casually that we weren’t seeing each other anymore. Not that my dad is a great judge of who I should be with – just that usually when I broke up with someone my dad would be happy and I would be miserable. This time we were in agreement.
-
Yes on one level, but on another I knew I was kidding myself. I was basically out to get laid for the first time (age 23 then, 48 now), and hooked up with the first available quasi-attractive female who seemed into me. But at the same time I was still in love with someone else (very long story there), and knew even tho I kept mouthing the words to the new girl deep down I knew the feelings weren’t even in the same universe.
-
She also said she was, but we had a very bitter breakup one night where I finally got to see her true colors, and that blew the fragile illusion I had constructed all to hell.
3 & 4 see above. In the end, it did make me realize just how little I am interested in sex with someone I don’t feel very deeply for.
P.s. I kind of doubt that we’ll see any “no no yes yes” responses…
1)no
2)no
3)no
4)no
I was 16 hanging out with a friend one night she was 17, the topic of sex came up. When she found out I was still a virgin. She said “were going to have to fix that, tonight.”
- No
- Maybe
- No
- Probably not.
15 years ago
Ditto.
No to all four. I wanted to lose my virginity and met a guy on a skiing trip who was willing to help me. He left the resort the next day and I never saw him again. I do still remember his name.
That was about 30 yrs ago.
-
At the time, did you believe you were in love with that first bedmate?
Nope. -
At the time, did you believe that person was in love with you?
Not really, but he counted himself very, very lucky that I wanted to sleep with him, and he respected me, and that gave me the sense of power and emotional security that I needed. Besides, I was eighteen and I thought it was about time. My biggest fear was baring myself to a guy that would later make fun of me or dump me now that he had " scored". -
In retrospect, do you still believe you were in love with that first bedmate?
No. -
In retrospect, do you still believe that person was in love with you?
No, but he did respect me and he was in love with me, although he never really understood me, I think.
Yes to all four. But then, I’m one of those who married her first love. We’ve been together going on 21 years. Married for 18.
Going with the first time that ‘counts’, no on all counts. It was a one weekend stand about 18 years ago. It was awesome though, about 6 hours each two nights at a church youth retreat and we hung out during the days.
Pure lust but it was an amazing experience.
Yes.
Yes.
I suppose so; I’m not sure there is any real difference between believing you are in love and actually being in love. That said, it was a fairly fucked-up and not particularly unselfish flavor of love.
God knows; I think, if anything, that he may have been in love with a highly idealized image of me, but I’m honestly not sure this person was capable of being in love with an actual human being. (Which may contradict my answer to #3, come to think of it.)
We weren’t in love at the time, but we are now.
Oh. I didn’t realize you wanted me to describe my first experience.
geez, that’s 35 years ago: :eek: no, no, no and no.
we were bf/gf and i was a 20yr old college virgin. it ended up being a good experience for me because we were quite close at the time and talked quite a bit before we did the deed.
he had rather more expertise than i did, as might be expected, so my first time was more pleasure than anything else. we were together about another year after that before we drifted apart.