Thinking outside of the box - Trump

So, lately my various online feeds are starting to get filled up with Trump again. It feels like the various media are getting back into the business of “All the Trump That’s Fit to Print” again, in the long long run-up to the next Presidential election. I sure as heck don’t want him to be elected again, I also don’t want him to be occupying my head either. But, because he is rattling around in my noggin’, some parts of my grey matter think that there needs to be a solution.

Now, I would never suggest harm come to him or his family or supporters. As well I would never celebrate anyone who harmed him or his family or his supporters. (Some say never say never…)

So, what can be done? Total blue-sky thinking, outside of the box? Something that would remove him from our (my) political lives, satisfy his pathologically over-inflated ego, and satisfy his supporters?

How about we make him King?

Remake the US as form of constitutional monarchy, (ala much of Europe: Belgium, Sweden, Denmark, etc.) where the monarchy has no real governing power, and is instead largely ceremonial.

Let him and his family continue to live in gilded luxury, pea-cocking around wearing uniforms and sashes, thinking they are the shite. But the deal he has to accept is “NO POLITICS”. I mean, there is a lot of chatter that he never really wanted to “govern” anyway, and instead just wanted to be top dog. Hey, even Putin isn’t a King, so that would be a selling point. And his supporters could worship him as G*d’s anointed representative on earth.

Yeah, sure, this is the ultimate in speculative nonsense, but let’s bat it around, shall we?

He could marry Elisabeth, she is single again. He would not even need to divorce Melania if we allowed him polygamy. He could boast that he had conquered the Commonwealth by concubinate. OK, that word is too long, but you get the idea.

I fear this is going to end up in IMHO or in the Pit…

The only place I would ever want to see Trump in a permanent position is Prisoner #84739.

Won’t the Kennedys be upset if the upstart Trumps got this?

The problem is, Trump is constitutionally incapable of keeping up his end of a “deal”. He tries to screw everybody he possibly can.

I have no doubt that he’d agree to this, and then immediately start acting like he always acts.

Sure, there will be a period of adjustment, but ultimately I think his advisors could convince him that being King, he way way above all that petty political stuff.

The Government would have to set him up with contractors for him to screw over on a regular basis and then the Government can quietly pay them what’s owed with a small bonus to keep quiet.

Nah. Emperor.

@Icarus, this really isn’t a GD thread.
Would you prefer IMHO or The Pit?
Your choice and I’ll move it over.

Suit yourself, IMHO it is!

We’ve had four years(and counting?) of his “advisors” trying to get him to act appropriately. I have little faith that another 4+ years will accomplish anything more.

Now, if you’d like to discuss setting him up in a Potemkin-village-like arrangement where we pretend he’s the king, but he’s actually walled off where none of the rest of us (other than well-paid* actors) have to actually hear or interact with him, we can talk. But as a real-world solution, this seems to have failure built-in.

*Like, insanely well-paid.

If you really want to shut Trump up, what you need to do is slip him a phone with a fake Twitter account on it. Tell him his lawsuit worked, and Twitter has caved to his demands.

Set up some kind of automated system that fakes the whole twitter ecology, including people reacting to him - re-tweets, replies and what-not. We could even harvest a lot of generic responses off his original twitter feed. Play with the ratio of positive to negative reactions to tailor his frame of mind to keep him as passive as possible. Once he thinks he’s back on top as the King of Twitter, he’ll be much less likely to try to talk to real people.

I think that is somewhat like the OP is suggesting.

This is what I was coming to post. Give him a fake Twitter and his thumbs will be wore out in no time!

No, he’s talking about making him an actual King, although with no real power, sort of like Queen Elizabeth II without the international respect. So he’d still be gallivanting about the country acting like he’s the king, because he would be, and he’d expect everyone to treat him like a king, minus the occasional beheading. So we’d still be stuck seeing his stupid smirk on TV on a regular basis.

I’m taking about a Truman Show kind of thing, where we just stick him in a bubble, an actual physical bubble, with lots of paid actors, so no one else ever has to see him ever again.

We hire four guys with military uniforms to rush up to him and claim that the Chinese nuclear missiles are about to land. The US has already launched its retaliatory strikes, so the world is ending. As the true president, he and his whole family are invited to live in the president’s bunker with people who will provide him food and water. He can also invite all his closest advisers if they can be located in time. He will be told that opening the door will expose them to radiation exposure in minutes. He can have a putting green and pretend that he gets 18 holes-in-one on every round until he and everyone close to him dies in obscurity.

Start his own religion/cult. All his worshippers can still give him money and call him messiah or Yahweh or whatever suites his fancy. Plenty of ego stroking but kept contained to a compound somewhere in FLA or TX.

Yep, actual King. As for seeing his stupid smirk on TV, well, we were seeing that before he entered politics, I’m trying to find a way back to that.

I like the way you think! Let’s make Tired_and_Cranky the Fake King!

Yeah, trump can be king of cell block D (Unless another inmate makes him their queen).