This dog reminds me of my ex-girlfriend (but not in a bad way....)...

The BBQ Pit
1

I’m looking after a dog…it’s gone 11pm…she wants to go to bed.

She sits, and looks at me, and whimpers. She nudges my arm, as I’m using the mouse, in a really awkward way. She stomps about the house, making it really clear that I’m annoyed.

I didn’t mind all this before, because when my girlfriend did all these things, there was a payoff of benefits. Now, it’s just annoying, but horribly familiar, and smelly and canine. But this damn bitch knows just how to get under my skin!

PS She’s growling at me now.

2

Please don’t let old habits take over.

3

Yeah. Fucking a dog is illegal.

4

My ex-girlfriend used to hump on my leg at the most inapprpriate times.

I miss her.

5

When you pointed to where you would like your girlfriend to fellate you, did she just stare at your finger?

6

I hope she didn’t bite you (either the girlfriend or the dog).

Somehow I was looking for a Dom Irera reference. “You remind me of your dog . . . but not in a bad way.”

7

This is not a Bad Thing.
Said canine is just reminding you that there’s life beyond the keyboard.
The downside is that you won’t get laid.
The upside is that even minimal response on your part will net you unquibbly acceptance and give-back.
The pooch will try to push you but won’t hold it against you when you hold out beyond reasonable needs. Even the silliest inane kid-again attention will prove you and The Pooch are a pack. The Pooch will think you’re da bomb even though you don’t brush your teeth, lose weight, excel at work or do anything else humans quite stupidly get all het up about.

8

Two words: Peanut Butter