You know, I’m really not sure how often the men at the clinic donate. I was pretty bummed that I couldn’t get the one that I wanted, but I’ve already narrowed it down to another list of five to choose from.
As to your friends not wanting you to “assist” them, I can completely understand. I’m sure that one of my guy friends would be more than happy to help, but there would be too many situations that could come up that I would not want to deal with. They might not see their place as just a donor and end up wanting more. And what if they see the child after it’s born and decide they want to play daddy? Nope, too many opportunities for things to go wrong. So, I’ll go back to my list and hopefully I can make a decision.
I’m thinking, is it a bad thing that they’re out of this guy? I mean, I always found it really rather offputting that more than one person could buy a donor’s sperm. I mean, it’s not like that sperm came from across the country or something, so that means that there you are, in your town, and the donor is somewhere in your town (or nearby) and the others buying his sperm are also nearby. In 20 years your kid could end up dating his/her own half sibling because all of donor dad’s sperm stayed local.
The more women are having babies using sperm from banks without a one-buyer-per-donor rule, the more we’re inclined toward a generation that needs to get DNA matched against their perspective lovers before doing anything irrevocable. (And how sucky would that be? You meet someone, fall in love, then find out, oops, you’re brother and sister!):eek:
Maybe the fertility clinic can message the Lithuanian jock. Something like:
“When come back. Bring juice.”
Hours of agonizing? Just get really really drunk and pick one of 'um at random. Woman have been finding fathers for their children that was for the past 10,000 years 
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Sweet Jesus on Whole Wheat Toast! :eek: I hadn’t even Thought of that! What do I do Now?!
Adopt.
Yes that’s an option, but see the thing is, I want to be pregnant, I want to have a baby of my Own. I want to have little Cleiko gene’s running around out there. I just didn’t think I’d have to worry about them Dating each other.
Does it honestly really matter if the children of the same donor meet up in the future, besides that cultural incest squick? I mean, if nobody knew?
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Because the sperm is donated, any obvious genetic defects have been screened out
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It’s not like we’re talking about generations of inbreeding here, just one
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Hi, Opal
I really don’t think there’s much to worry about - the odds that even a half-sibling matchup would produce a child with a tail and three eyes are extremely slim, AFAIK. If neither child ever knew about it, I think the problem would all be in your head. (Of course the kids will probably know that they’re the children of donors - I mean they won’t know they’re siblings.) Don’t sweat it.
A very entertaining thread for some reason.
A quick hijack:
What does it say about me that I still think this is funny?
/hijack
Back to the topic. Yeah, don’t sweat the half-sibling matchup, which is spectacularly unlikely.
I can’t remember where I read this, but at least once, a doctor has had to step in and prevent two people from getting married because he knew they were children of the same sperm donor. :eek:
Cleiko, have you looked into using a known donor? There are agencies set up for that sort of thing, and agreements you can sign to guarantee that the donor won’t ask to be a part of the child’s life, but at least your child won’t be wondering his whole life who his father is and where he comes from. I feel bad for children of donors - I just know that I wouldn’t be happy not knowing where half my DNA come from.
Just something for you to mull over…
Wouldn’t it be simpler to just assign a unique code to every donor, and enter this on the birth certificate under “Father”? This way two people could tell immediately if they were siblings, with no DNA tests required … but still keeping the anonymity of the donor.
Also … this can be just as much of a risk in a small town with a few promiscuous guys sowing their seed the “natural” way. 
Good luck in your quest Cleiko.
No, I haven’t looked into that, although it is an option. However, my fiance’ and I have already started the whole process with the clinic. Which means we’ve already invested a good amount of money. (We have great health insurance, but as I don’t have fertility problems, it’s not covered.)
As far as the child (or children I hope) growing up not knowing who their father is, they’ll know the basic facts - what he did, his intrests, his ancestry, etc… But as far as missing out, I believe (and it may sound corny but I think it’s true) that if you raise a child with enough love and stability, they’ll grow up to be happy, well adjusted adults, no matter if they had a father figure or not. How many kids out there are raised by their single moms or grandmothers and come out of it ok?
Besides, some children would be better off Not having their fathers around. I had an abusive father growing up and after age six only saw him occasionally and feel I would have been MUCH better off never knowing the man. I’m amazed at how stable I am as an adult considering what I went through as a child. I know that my children will be greatly loved and I can’t wait to raise them and give them the happy childhood that I never experienced.
Actually a Very good idea. I wonder if something like this is already under way? With as many clinics as there are out there, I’m sure someone has thought along the same lines…
my 2 $/100:
first, a little background. when i was 23, i left my boyfriend of 3 years. 2 months later, i found out i was preggers. i was still unhappy with then bf and didn’t want to even tell him about the child. until i talked with a man who never knew his father. he grew up in a small mountain town where his mother went on ‘vacation’ and came back with a kid. she knew who the father was but never told the father or the son. still, to this day, he dosn’t know who his father is and wishes he knew, even if the guy was a drugged out bum.
so, at 5 months pregnant, and right before christmas, i called my ex and confessed. he wasn’t much a part of our son’s life the first 3 years, due to him being in school 300 miles away, but we are now happily married with a little girl to boot.
now i don’t know what i’d do without him. he’s a great dad in ways that i just can’t be, with both kids. and someone to turn to when the kids won’t listen to me. at first son called dad by his first name, but on his own switched to dad.
point? wait, it’s here somewhere, i swear.
having a dad isn’t all that bad, even for a self-reliant person such as myself. if nothing else, dad’s make great babysitters and there are more grandparents to do the spoiling! not that there is anything wrong with anonymous donation.
I see your point, but the thing is - the donor Will by anonymous, there’s no getting around that if I go to a clinic, and right now that’s my best option if I want to get pregnant. And second, my child Will have a second parent - my fiance’. (We’ll be married As Soon as it’s legal in our state -WV. Not soon enough for me though. 
)
And considering that I’ve been hearing from my mother since I was a child how much she wanted grandchildren, I’m sure she’ll be dragging her boyfriend along and moving here to be close to her grandchild. So they’ll be No shortage of people willing to spoil and give my child the attention that he or she will need.
thats excellent!
btw- i in no way meant my previous post in a bad way, just if you did have to use a man friend for man juice, it wouldn’t be that bad. either way is great, especially that you have a girlfriend and parents to be there with you.
and good luck!
Could be worse:
“Rothstein cited the case of former fertility doctor Cecil Jacobson, who was convicted of fraud in 1992 in connection with his former clinic in Virginia. Jacobson tricked some patients into believing they were pregnant and lied to others when using his own sperm to inseminate them, fathering at least 15 of his patients’ children, authorities said.”
Ah. Free-range sperm donors.
At least PETA complains less about that type.
Seriously, I remember you guys talking about this at one of our parties. I’m glad it’s moving forward for you! All the best and let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.