And you know, it’s certainly moving forward now - I just placed my order! I was overly stressing about it and Theios said I should just take Betenoir’s advice and just get drunk and choose… But instead I stopped stressing and chose…
queue anouncer’s voice
“And who’s it gonna be folks?! Why the suspense is Killing me!” cheeky grin
“Ah! She has Made her decision! Let’s welcome to the stage folks - the top choice for Cleiko’s first born child!”
“He’s Irish, He’s German, He’s French, and he LOVE’S history and real estate! At 6’3 and 210lbs with hazel eyes he’s quite a looker too! Well folks, I don’t know about You, but I think Cleiko here has chosen a winner. Any if not, well hey, she’ll only regret it for the rest of her life!” dashing smile and parting wave as announcer bounces off stage.
Is it just me, or does all of this choosing sperm donors business make anyone else uneasy? It just seems so…I don’t know…unnatural, artificial, so completely bizarre. Isn’t there a grave biological reason that reproduction is so personal? I mean this seems like it’s on the same level as picking out a car! I mean yea, the guy loves real estate and history and has hazel eyes, what does that insure? The guy could be the biggest megalomaniacal asshole in the world and donates his sperm because he knows he’s such a twisted sadistic fuck that he’ll never procreate any other way. I hope you hit the genetic jackpot but wouldn’t it be better if one were to know the donor personally?
Call me a disgruntled male, but this whole business just leaves me weirded out with an empy pit in my stomach. (Reduced to a commodity.)
Truly and obviously -but to grind the fine point- I meant the more nuanced feeling of it, outside of it’s clinical term “artificial” which refers to the method of induction.
As I have said Before… choosing a known donor just Isn’t an option. I don’t want the biological father to all of a sudden get attached and want to be a part of the child’s life when what I want is to raise the child with my Wife - Not the donor.
I can’t help it that I’m a lesbian and don’t have a male partner to do it the “traditional” way. If I want to have children of my own, this is the way it has to be done. And it seems like the men who are actually donating the sperm don’t really have a problem with it, otherwise they wouldn’t be doing it.
a) Even perfectly heterosexual couples might have to turn to artificial insemination because of infertility issues. They could have had problems conceiving and it could either use the husband’s own sperm or some stranger’s. It is a perfectly valid choice.
b) Actually knowing, even getting married to the donor does not guarantee much. You could marry the perfect guy and one day he wakes up and for god-knows-what-reason hacks you to tiny pieces and puts you in a large trash bag for the Sanitary Department to dispose of you. Been an asshole is not inherited, and come to think of it the chance of a sperm donor been genetical disease-free is greater than a regular husband’s, after all they go through lots of steps to insure that.
c) It can be the only road to motherhood for women with valid reasons not to involve a father in all this (the OP for example).
Let me tell you what’s weirder: when you actually know the guy, and you still have to do things this way. Trust me on this one. Nothing makes your husband the engineer feel like a steaming turd more than knowing that IUI may be the only way he can knock you up. And even worse - knowing that the problems are on my end, not his, make me feel like toasted moose doots, so it really takes the romance out of trying, which certainly doesn’t help.
So, to get back on topic - Cleiko, you’re lucky that finding “Mr. Right” (so to speak) is the least of your problems. Lots of luck to you and Theios - I am insanely jealous! Hope for good news soon.
I was sweating there for a second until you got to the 6’3" part. I’m Irish, German and French (with other stuff), my degree is in history and I know my real estate (thinking of buying an apartment building out here right now).
You’re not the only one. What adds insult to injury is that she’s a lesbian and she still has terribly mundane and superficial taste in men. She comes in here, suprised that her ideal was all used up - "Heavens? Other women are into tall European atheletes? And I thought I was such a unique snowflake :mad: " Oh well, she won out and got three more inches and three times the European. “Hooray for me! Tee-hee!” How could you not even be attracted to men, and still be that gleefully shallow? Now call me a disgruntled male.
Did it ever occur to you that the reason I picked a “European” man was that I would like my child to look somewhat like me and my future wife? What the hell is superficial about picking an ethnic group that closely resembles mine? And what the hell is wrong with his height? So what, he’s an extra three inches taller than the other man - I wouldn’t have cared if he was three inches shorter.
And “gleefully shallow?” Gee, I’m real sorry you didn’t like my attitude about the situation, but I was trying to have a sense of humor while going through a very stressful time in my life.
Hope for good news soon.
