I have a very good friend, who is being investigated by the child welfare services. Here’s why.
Her son is 12 years old, he is mildly autistic and has ADHD. He is also very good at manipulating people and situations. Last week, he spent the day playing in the living room downstairs. My friend called him to come upstairs for dinner. She told him that after dinner he had to clean up in the living room, then he could have dessert. He went back downstirs to clean up, then back up to the kitchen and told his mother the room was clean. Later, my friend went into the living room and found it still messy. She again told her son he needed to clean it up. He did, then he went to bed. His bedroom is also downstairs.
My friend went food shopping after he went to bed. His father was upstairs sleeping. She brought in all of her groceries, put them away and went into the living room to watch TV. She found that her son had destroyed the room. He threw her collectable dolls on the floor, her collectable bears were also tossed around the room. He pulled down all the pictures, broke the glass and the frames and carved pictures into all of the end tables, coffee table and entertainment center.
My friend was angry. She woke up her son and told him that he had to clean up his mess and he was grounded for a month. He just grinned at her and told her that was what she gets for making him clean up. Now she was more angry. She slapped him open handed on the arm one time. He then cleaned the room.
The next day at school he had an argument with another child. My friend’s son started throwing punches and the other kid punched back. The boys were separated and my friend was called. The teacher asked her why her son was acting up so badly. My friend explained to the teacher what had happened the night before. The teacher put her on hold, came back to the phone and told her that her son had a black eye. The kid told the teacher his mother had given it to him !
Later that night, there was a knock on her door. Child welfare was there and demanded to inspect the three kids for bruises and interview them away from their parents. They found nothing. But they told my friend that she and her husband may not touch the kids to dicipline them in any way, the only acceptable punishment for the 12 year old is a 12 minute time out. And my friends now have to attend parenting classes. The doctors and teachers have been told to keep an eye out for abuse.
Her son has been to counciling for years, he attends a special school and he has been known to lie and overall be a diciplinary problem. My friend has two other children that do not share these problems.
Since child welfare has been to her house. He son will intentionally break household rules and smirk at his mother when she tells him to stop. He will ask for snacks, five minutes from dinner time and if she says no, he tells the teacher the next day, that his parents aren’t feeding him.
My friend is angry and I am too. While child welfare was wasting their time with my friend, another child was truely being abused somewhere. Child welfare took all of the power in the house away from the parents and gave it to the child. This kid is going to be hell in a few more years, and my friend feels like there’s nothing she can do about it.