“its the only 2 things that will fit under the door”
“he forgot his fucking keys again”
You’re a real asshole when you’re drunk, Superman.
Geese!
And, gosh, I had to give you extra credit for doing it all through the muffler.
Now she’s making money on the side.
Two Milky Ways and a Coke.
She’s painting my house.
Pardon me, Roy, is that the cat that ate your new shoes?
“Dammit, Rudolph–I said, ‘the Schmidt house’!”
No, wait–that was a Christmas card
“Where the hell’s my cookie?!!” WHAM!!!
“Size 13.”
“Anybody that can eat that much ice cream, I’m not messing with him.”
I don’t claim any special trig knowledge, that’s just the way my dad used to tell it.
Back to the thread:
“Senior, the Seniorita, she is gone.” (Don’t know how to make a tilde)
“Putting her back in the wheelchair!”
“The picture of Jesus doesn’t scream when you nail it to the wall!”
“Throw them a basketball.”
You don’t have a pool? Is this 03340892?
My wife caught me in bed with her.
But his secret desire
Was a boy in the choir
With a bottom like jelly on springs.
“Then why are we both speaking Spanish??”
…because he was nailed to the chicken.