Milk generally keeps better when it is refridgerated, NOT when placed in the cupboard.
You do NOT have to dial an outside line before calling 911 on your office phone (did as a joke - heard dial tone - hung up REALLY quick - cops showed up in 5 minutes.).
Scott is my WIFE’s brother
Joe is my SISTER’s husband
The LIT end of the cigarette should be pointed AWAY from your face when smoking - genrally the FILTER (or NON Glowing, smoking end) is the part you inhale from.
A cigarette CANNOT be lit with a rum & coke, no matter how much you “flick” the rim of the glass with your thumb.
Also, your Advantage card will not work as your Rewards Zone card at Best Buy. Do not try to talk the cashier into it, either. She knows what she is talking about.
Whilst stopping when riding a motorcycle (or bicycle, scooter, etc.), it is recommended that you put your feet on the GROUND whe said vehicle stops, to avoid falling over.
Of course, if they have or have had toddler children at home, they will understand.
I was once concentrating on a module I was writing, very very hard, and my blonde, attractive co-worker came up behind me to ask me a question. I automatically responded as I had to do several times a day at home -
“Just a second, sweetie - Daddy will be there in a second.”
She could have sued me and taken my house, car, and savings. But she had children, and understood.
Your Driver’s License allows you to legally operate a motor vehicle. It does not allow you to purchase groceries in the checkout line of Wal-Mart.
Your membership card at the video store allows you to rent DVDs, but – here’s the catch – ONLY if you also give them money.
When you have just been told you are being hired for a job, and your new boss shakes your hand to congratulate you, say “Thank you,” or “I’m happy to be here,” or something similar. Do not say “Congratulations!” right back to him.
(Yes, I actually did that. No, I do not know why.)
The corollary is, of course, that you do need to swipe your CTA card in order to get on the CTA. Because walking into a turnstile at full speed hurts a little. And sometimes the CTA employees are watching and then they laugh at you.
If you’re holding a cup of tea in your left hand, now is not the time to look at your watch.
Find your glasses before you take your contacts out.
Honey does not need to be refrigerated.
The tea will only be brewed if you pour the hot water onto the tea leaves.
The printer will only finish printing whatever it is that you were printing when it ran out of paper if you not only put more paper in it, but also push the button which says “check to see if there is now paper”
If you ignore the “the ink is getting low” message onscreen and print a multiple page document–expect bad results.
It is probably more annoying to waste paper than risk wasting ink by replacing the cartridge the moment it announces the ink is getting low (but you can’t prove it by my behavior).
And, courtesy of my dad, when setting the alarm on one’s brand new PDA–check what DATE you are setting it for.
Also, if you are looking for something that you probably had in your pocket earlier (as in before you changed clothes), one might check not just the pockets of the clothes you are now wearing, but also the clothes you were wearing.
even tho your car is running, thanks to the remote start option, you will not be able to drive it anywhere until you actually put the key in the ignition and turn the key to engage the motor. this happened to me tonight leaving work
When one interrupts oneself while reading in order to do a load of laundry or whatever, do not take the book with you and then set it down. this will require an investigation of everywhere one went in order to retrieve said book.
Even more appropriate when one has taken one’s tea to the microwave in order to heat it up. That time the tea was on the counter and the book in the micro. The book’s pages were smoking, if anyone’s interested.
When returning to one’s car in the parking lot or the gas station, it is wise to check to be sure it is actually one’s own car before one tries to unlock it.
When pouring a drink or getting a snack it would behoove you to remember that it won’t follow you to the next room by itself. You actually have to pick it up and take it there.