While we’re on my favorite topic, and having read what Gorgon Heap and Mixie Armadillo said-- is it normal for a previously massively horny guy to suddenly have a major libido decline in his thirties? I have this, um, friend (fuckbuddy, long-distance, so infrequent, but actually a long-time friend before) who just turned thirty and told me that honestly, he no longer is that interested in having sex with anyone anymore. I mean, he physically can, but it’s just not that important anymore. He swears it’s an across the board thing and not about me, but I’m not sure if this is bullshit or not. This is a guy who used to be a total skank in his 20s (I’ve known him since we were teenagers, and he was always the biggest horndog around.) Opinions?
Me, on the other hand… hey Rooves, how you doin’? Just kidding (sorta).
Now I know I am not the only one either! I am almost 28 and my sex drive is stronger than ever before. Ever since I became sexually active at age 15, I never went long without sex…that is, until this past year, and it sucked. I broke up with my boyfriend of 9 years and then proceeded to go about 6 months without sex. One day when I realized how long it had been–that it was the longest I had ever gone without sex in 12 years–it was really depressing. I never realized when I was getting it how much I would miss it–I took it for granted! Boy was it great when I started getting it again. I hope that I will never have to go 6 months without sex ever again! (crossing fingers)
(Oh yeah, and it doesn’t really count if it’s with someone you don’t care about.)
I have spent the last two or three years with zero interest in sex. I enjoyed it but could cheerfully live without it. I was then diagnosed with depression, started to take pills and boom, instant sex drive. I feel like all the feelings I should have had for the last couple of years have condensed to insatiability. The only problem, I’m in the middle of a divorce, so no one to share it with.
I also really, really miss intimacy, just someone to hug, share the bed with, etc.
Second time around is better right?! Here’s hoping!
Rubystreak, I’m not a man, but I’ve known several men who were massive horndogs in their teens and 20s, and then their need for sex declined once they entered their 30s. I doubt it has anything to do with you. One man told me, “there comes a time when hitting the laz-y-boy sounds more appealing than hitting the booty.”
Don’t men hit their sexual peak around age 18, and women hit theirs around 30? Perhaps it’s time to start looking into younger men.
Back atcha, Rooves baby. It gets coooold up here in Central NY, I tell ya. I’d prefer a warm body to the two huge comforters on my bed, but I’m getting to the point where I’d rather be alone than in bad company. I just have to remember that the next time some hot idiot makes me an offer.
What I can’t understand about my horndog friend is, he’s the one who initiated this fuckbuddy thing with me. Apparently he’s had a crush on me for over a decade and finally decided to let me in on it. We got together, it was fine for a while, and now he’s hitting male menopause? WTF?!? I could really kick his ass for the hard sell. False advertising. I’m not bitter, really.
Baby Fish Mouth (still sweeping the nation?)–I have tried younger men. They definitely have energy going for them, but their lack of maturity,inability to commit, and overall goofiness does not make for a good partnership. Sure, just for the nookie, but it’s annoying not to be able to count on the person you’re sleeping with, IMO. Find me a wise-beyond-his-years 23 year old and we’re golden.
I would really, really like some intimacy. And some sex. I’ve never had either. Despite the fact that I’m only 19, prospects look pretty dismal, and if it’s true that male libido diminishes around 30, the longer I go without the worse, seeing as how if I’m one of the unfortunate ones who has to wait until I’m 30 just to START having sex, I will have missed out on what should have been the best 10 years of my life.
How about a wise beyond-his-years 24 year old, from CNY?
I apologize, just had to chime in. I knew this thread would somehow turn into a flirting thread.
And to answer the OP, I do not get obsessed with sex when I’m having a dry spell, as is the current situation. I miss it, but I miss the intimacy more.
I’m in Ithaca; it’s a college town, so everyone’s too young or too transient for my tastes.
I’m not so much obsessed with sex as I feel like I’m rotting on the vine, so to speak. I know the other 30something women on here know what I mean. Menopause, while not around the corner, is a reality that’s out there, and I know it drastically affects a woman’ sexuality,most often not for the better. Right now, everything is in prime working order, and in high gear in a way that it wasn’t in the sexual heyday of my 20s. Sigh. It’s not the most important thing in the world, but it does contribute a dollop of angst to my life.
Just kidding (sorta).