Newbie asks question that is stupid from everybody else’s standpoint.
Newbie gets slightly singed.
Apology from newbie for being a newbie, followed by gratuitous sucking up by newbie that misses its intention to deflect flames by being so annoying.
More shameless flirting by Shayna.
Newbie flirts shamelessly with Shayna and every other person of gender of interest, then gets embarassed and logs off.
Shayna flirts back with the newbie. Post counts don’t matter to her. The only criterion is that they have red blood.
She wonders if beatle wants to be considered for the position of husband or if he’s just looking to join an orgy.
Diane hears there’s an orgy here and comes in to offer free blowjobs.
Manhattan declines, but UncleBeer unzips.
Thread gets too hot for Shayna. She leaves.
{{{Hugs}}} everyone again on her way out.
Remembers to turn off her dang sig this time, too.
xeno complains bitterly that Shayna’s already proposed to him and is therefore breaking her implicit contract by considering beatle nuptials, suddenly realizes there’s an orgy going on, then apologizes to other posters and “feels humbled” by high tone and maturity of previous posters. Logs off in confusion, wondering if consternation will follow.
Newbie reads Shayna’s flirting, hears about the orgy, thinks it’s real (he is a newbie, after all), gets excited, logs off before wife finds out.
Tangential reference to OP that does not hide true, vaguely pathetic intention of demonstrating knowledge of who Constance Talmadge and Ada Jones are.
Flustered exit.
Quotation of Shayna orgasm in one forum or the other (Forum chosen at random)
Flirtation with Grace
Possible apology for hijack re flirting with Grace
NO apology for flirtation with Shayna, because everyone else is doing it AND NOBODY EVER COMPLAINS (except Neutron Star)
Attempt to persuade Shayna that Judaism angle really not important in scheme of things
Generous sprinkling of Shakespearean quotes and smilies, e.g.
“It is a custom More honored in the breach than the observance” 
–Hamlet, Act 1, scene iv
“Quote” --Someone only poster knows
Realization that an orgy is taking place.
Declaration of undying, passionate lust for Esprix.
Repeated offer of “hospitality” in case the latter happens to be in Montreal.
Deft comment about whips and chains.
La même citation du même philosophe français, dont tout le monde a déjà marre.
-Philosophe français
Thread degenerates into a flirt-fest, completely off topic.
OPer tries in vain to return thread to original premise.
Someone starts a Pit thread griping about flirting in inappropriate places.
“Get a room” is strongly suggested to those who can’t follow the rules of proper decorum on a discussion board.
Sig bragging about being greeted by Cecil
Size up situation; make thinly veiled attempt to win peer approval.
Shameless suck-up to mods.
Attack newbie for low post count.
Set self up as deity.
Bounce.
Noticing that this is the fiftieth post.
Autocongratulation.
Annoyed objection to thread drift/hijacking into gratuous flirting. Whine about pervasive thread drift and flirting.
Continued ranting that threads should relate to subject of original post, and off topic posts should be avoided, or at the very worst mild hijacks should be noted as such, though a new thread is preferable. (No reference at all to subject of orignial post).
Poster name
Flirtatious aside to Shayna.
Pounce.
Intense lambasting of billdo for flirting with shayna.
Invocation of Internet equivalent of the law of estoppel.
Flounce off. Return to Esprix hunt.
Troisième répétition de cette foutue citation du philosophe français.
-Philosophe français
Inevitable reference to Cecil Adams.
[fake HTML commands to indicate irony]comment[/fake HTML commands to indicate irony]
Self referentional comments about humor of this thread.
Nostalgia about the “good old days” (ie how things were three months ago).
Smiley. Obligatory apology to the Chief for using smiley.
Flirtatious remarks to all female posters (just in case).
Complaint about repeatedly opening this thread due to forgetting what topic actually is, due to misleading thread title that makes poster think it’s about a subject she’s interested in.
[Hijack to Cuba]Long post about that subject, interesting but completely unrelated to anything that’s been posted in the thread thus far.[/Hijack to Cuba]
Manual sig relating back to hijack
Big ass flame inviting poster-who-has-been-a-public-enemy-since-Genesis-or-Oct99 to the Pit where the proper words can be exchanged.
And then Milo shows up late, like he does in every good thread, and posts at a point when no one will be reading it any longer. Dooming the thread to sink to page two quickly.
Reference to not reading this thread until now. (Veiled comment about other posters and their lack of excitement on weekends.)
Throat-clearing noise for no good reason.
Attempt at humor that falls flat.
Gratituitous insult to a random poster in an attempt to keep thread alive.
yet more sig space that is really getting quite tedious as it sucks up to every poster within reach
Mullinator includes post that makes reference to both his height and Repuublicanism.
Posters ignore previous post and concentrate on flirting.
Satan’s ass is mentioned.
Someone complains about the speed of the board.
Shallow, superficial post in an attempt to sound clever with hopes of getting into discussion which was assumed to be boring the passed 4 days when thread title was read and ignored repeatedly, but became intriguing as post count increased to over 50 warranting 2nd page, and proved to be quite interesting and a bit humorous when read.
Reference to high brow work of art within an attempt at a joke perceived to be understood only by fellow members of forum, fueled by insecurities and the need to belong.
Seemingly casual, though well-thought-out, conclusion to post.