Threadkillers: The Aftermath

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Well, this year’s contest is over. In fact, the contest is over. Period. The last Threadkillers battle ever ended in a draw, and frankly, I’m a bit happy because of it.

What to say about this year’s fight. Well, it was…unique. Yeah, that works.

Sure, it had some of the old elements of last year’s. Knishes aplenty, a big-ass ugly thread that ate some people and drove others to the brink of insanity (I’ll never watch “The Crocodile Hunter Again,” I swear). In that respect, it was loads of fun.

However, it seems that Threadkillers just got too big for its own good. While last year’s fun was contained in a neat, tidy, 9 page package, this year’s became a sprawling, slimy, 23-page monster, that didn’t really have a chance of dying, I suppose. Hence, it’s probably for the best that the mods closed it, since there was no hope of a dignified death for ol’ thready.

I shall now announce the death of Threadkillers, per the mod’s request, and would like to apologize to them for creating such a monstrosity. Visions of Frankenstein’s Monster flash through my mind as I type. Again, I am humbly sorry.

Now that that’s out of the way, I have some official announcements.

<ahem>

Since this year’s contest was a draw, particlewill remains the complete, utter, undisputed Super-Mega-Threadkiller-o-Doom for all time, due to his win last year.

All participants will, once again, recieve these…

<hands out Threadkiller merit badges>

Wear them with pride. They shall be momentos of the time we spent battling the beast.

A final note: I’m curious as to how this thread ranks among longest ones. I know that Guy Stuff was 23 pages, as well, but are there any other huge ones out there? Oh, and thank you to thinksnow for immortalizing this year’s thread on the Straight Dope Rosetta Stone over at the Rochambo fighting arena. truly I’m honored.

Well, I think that that should just about clear everything up. Feel free to check in for a final farewell to the Threadkillers club, and pay your last respects to this year’s thread.

Again, thank you all. <gives soulful Threadkiller salute>

2

Well, I hesitate to say anything. In light of how the worm turned, I feel more than a little ashamed to post at all. Being naturally paranoid–yes, it’s natural, you can ask my hairdresser–I have this sneaking suspicion that anywhere I go on the board, people will whisper things like, “Oh*her,*she’s one of those…threadkillers.”
And my usual anonymity will be tainted by snide comments about knishes.

I fear this.

But, I do love you to pieces Jester…so I’ll meekly nod my head in respect to a monstrous disaster and all-around good lesson in taking things too far. I will say that I find it sort of depressing that an idea (which was so nobly started in last year’s thread) about how disheartening it is to find yourself unintentionally killing good threads has now morphed into this beast–which in the end makes me even more of a loser for notbeing able to kill it. Is that irony?

Oh, well. I had a very good time, all things considered. And not a jot of harm was intended by anyone, so there you have it. I will always consider the threadkiller-threads as the places I really got to know some great people here.

3

It was my pleasure. After months of researching and tireless days of reading…uh, digging and stuff…I was able to unearth the rock that binds us. I feel that the Stone plus the primer and the other associated tomes of knowledge will provide the greenest newbie the information to decipher this language we call: Dope.

Truly it is I that am honoured. Congratlations to all participants, but mostly to those that were there from the beginning through the end. The last great battle has concluded, go in peace.

4

Well Heck. While I am honored to continue to be seen as the “complete, utter, undisputed Super-Mega-Threadkiller-o-Doom for all time” I have decided to rest on my laurals. Threadkilling is a young person’s game, and I am gettin old. It’s time I changed my thread killin ways and settle down to some thread contributing instead.

Just remember kids, Threads are our friends. They are to be cherished, nurtured, and, when the time comes, set free. Ocasionaly one runs amok, and needs to be put down. But that is best left to the experts. The TRUE thread killers. The folks with the mighty Sword of Threadkilling Closing.

Without the Mods, who would protect us from the madness of Threads Gone Wild?

Peace, Love and Analytical Thought be yours!

5

…I also am ashamed to say that I briefly contributed to the monstrosity. I am sooo embarassed!

Sorry, mods, won’t happen again.

Have I mentioned I think you’re all lovely?

6

You know what you could do? You could find some really motivated person to keep track of every thread and who killed it and at the end of the year, you’d know who the ultimate thread killer was.*

Usually, I’m just the person for silly projects, but this one (even though I suggested it) is just too silly for even me to do. Just thought I’d suggest it, though.
*[sub]If they were really motivated they could work out some sort of threads killed compared to posts type deal, and could find out the least killed per posts, ect. Again, just a suggestion[/sub]

7

I admit I participated in it but…

I did not have sexual relations with that thread

Oh I flirted, carried around a Big Ass Wupping Stick®, recklessly weilded a scapel, and raised (virtual)hell generally but I repeat

I did not have sexual relations with that thread.

That is all.

8

You all had to go and get us in trouble with the Mods, didn’t you? OK, I posted in the thread too. The mention of breasts always gets a guy’s attention. Anywho, to keep us all out of trouble in the future, I leave you with these sage words from my mom to live by:

“If you’re gonna play upstairs, go downstairs!!!”

9

Guy Stuff ending post count=1114
(including the last five posts being double posts plus one post from mod checking whether the thread was closed.)

Threadkillers 2001 ending post count =1111
(no double posts)

I know it’s splitting hairs but what the heck. I think the official end count of Guy Stuff should be 1109.

So whaddya think should TK2K+1 be deemed the longest thread ever?

Not that I would ever try to participate in such an undertaking ever again.

10

Well, Mermaid, I thank you immensly for the research. I seriously hope that ol’ Thready will go down in history as the longest of the long.

Not that I endorse that, or anything…I’ve learned my lesson. :slight_smile:

11

Ummmm, just a minor point here. Sangria actually got the last word in, and I quote:

[QUOTE]
It ain’t over till the fat lady sings.
[/QUOTE}

*After[/]
Eutychus55 declared the thread closed. Nothing against particlewill, but…

Congrats, Sangria!! Looks to me like you’re the new
Super-Mega-Threadkiller-o-Doom.

12

haaaaaaa, I see what I did. I do that kinda stuff all the time in real world, too.

13

Naw, sorry nothahamlet, but we had a simlar thing happen last year, after pwill had been declared the winner and the mods had closed it, somebody came in and said “Hi”.

However, since pwill had already been declared winner, that post didn’t count. Likewise, Euty declared the contest a draw, and therefore, the last post doesn’t count. pwill’s title stands.

14

The real question is: Who will kill this thread? :wink:

15

Don’t even.

16

Makes sense to me. Don’t mind me, I just like stirring pots sometimes…

17

OK I’ve got twin bazookas pointed right at this thread’s head.

:ducks and runs but too slow to avoid getting Euty’s shoe up her butt:

Uhm on second thought, don’t even try it, it’s a really bad idea, a really, really, bad idea.

[sub]Ok Euty I took it back all nice and everything, *now * will you remove your foot? [/sub]

18

I just want to take the time here to say how incredibly ashamed I am of all of you. To participate in such an obvious post padding thread… I hope you’ve all learned your lesson!

::walks away shaking her head in a disapproving manner::

19 
 No, Euty wouldn't kick someone with such a nice pair of bazookas, would he?
20

I just didnt want to have to see lurkernomore
kill this one, and hell, i wanted a kill for myself