Threads I've Aborted

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

GENERAL QUESTIONS

What’s It Like Being with a Lady?

Help Me Identify the Brown Stuff Dripping Out of My Ear

What’s the Best Extra Value Meal?
MPSIMS

Post Your Bra Size Here

Your Favorite Thing Ever!

Unforgettable Bowel Movements
BBQ PIT

A Big F*** You to All You Islamic Extremists, and Here’s My Home Address if You Want to Do Something About It

Yo! Muthafuckahs All Full of Shit!
GREAT DEBATES

The Case For NAMBLA

Up Your Ass: Steel Dildo or Index Finger?

Bob Johnson is Right!

“My hovercraft is full of eels.”

2

Funniest thing I’ve seen in ages. ROFLMAO!

3

Is This Supposed To Be Runny?
The Case For Child Molesters.
Gorditas vs. Chalupas
The Stork Does Too Bring Babies!!

Eagles may soar free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.

4

Hey Torgo, maybe you aborted those threads, but our third favorite recent troll didn’t on one of them. See Jayburner’s threadPurpleCrackWhore, Canadian Sue…whats your bra sizes?..

5

I say the best value meal is the Quarter Pounder, with or without cheese. Supersizing is good if you like a lot of fries, but I don’t think anyone needs that much Coke.

“His eyes are as green as a fresh-pickled toad,
His hair is as dark as a blackboard,
I wish he was mine, he’s really divine,
The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”

6

How about :

“Chili-Mac and Genital Herpes”

“The Unabomber is So Misunderstood”

“It burns when I pee . . .”

“My Pal Chuck Manson”
(I appear to be stuck on two themes here. Wait . . . I got it !)

“My Pal Chuck Manson and His Genital Herpes”

“No one cares how pretty the souffle is, if the appetizer is turds-in-a-blanket.” Bill McNeil, NewsRadio

7

If we’re not blood related, is it ok to date?

Bestiality: Underrated?

What’s your favorite number?

OK, Who has 10 fingers?

You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.

8

How big is TOO big?

No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness…Mary Wollstonecraft

9

How big is TOO big?

No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only mistakes it for happiness…Mary Wollstonecraft

10

“How come there’s never any controversy on the board?”

“Cecil Adams really isn’t that smart, if you ask me.”

“Anybody else see that thing on the show with that one chick who does the stuff with that whatchamacallit?”

“I miss Michael Masterson.”

“The Ethics of Cramming Telephone Books Up Your Ass.”

“Why can’t I get a date with that smelly bitch at the bus-stop?”

“How many licks would it take to get to the center of an onion?”

“Canadians: Blessed neighbors or the next source of white slaves for our snuff film industry?”

“My penis fell off…AGAIN!!!”

“I’m leaving this board… No, wait!!.. Yeah, I am… Maybe not…”

“Fun things to do in an elevator full of Scientologists”

“Man, how I wish that Stalin guy was still around…”

“What’s wrong with all these groundhog killers?”

“Dopefest Boise: Party of One”

“Sequential Thread Titles, part 6,345,921”

“Is it just me, or are gas prices a little higher this year?”

“How to skin a wallaby”

11

tears streaming down face, clutching hemorrhaging side

Oh god.

12

“No, really, what’s the third word that ends in gry?”

“What’s with all these people whining about people whining about people whining about trolls?”

“David B, how do you feel about creationists?”

13

“Ask the Castrated Dyslexic Vietnamese Dwarf”

“My boogers taste awfully salty today”

“Anybody else just getting over a bad case of syphillis?”

“Michael Bolton: Musical Genius (with a nice ass)”

“Sometimes I am strangely aroused by my deodorant”

“Who Wants to Be A Dirty Little Whore?”

“My favorite biblical plague, or why locusts kick ass!”

“I’ve had it up to here with all these beautiful naked women running around the office”

“Best way to remove bloodstain from off-white sofa? (Urgent!)”

“Libertarians. Anybody ever heard of these people?”

“I had that dream about UncleBeer and the vat of pudding again last night.”

"How come Milli Vanilli isn’t putting out any new albums?

“Religion question: how did Noah find all those different kinds of beetles?”

“Masturbation: the cream cheese and WD-40 method”

“How can I kill my neighbor’s emu without getting caught?”

“Seriously, the Cubs are going to win this year. No, really.”

“I wish I could find more of these mothball earrings.”

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Hurts… laughing… ow… bleeding… losing… consciousness…

Esprix, who should know better than to read this stuff at work - my co-workers are now looking at me strangely while I stifle loud laughter - you bastards!

Ask the Gay Guy!

15

“Does Pat Robertson turn anyone else on?”

“Anybody know how to tenderize a Chinaman?”

“Jeffrey Dahmer beats N’Sync any day!”

“WHAT IF I went out and killed some Christians? (hypothetical)”

“Faggots make me sick, but in a good way”

I dunno, I’m rambling, and ReservoirDog beats us all anyway.

Esprix

Ask the Gay Guy!

16

“What if my one toe is turning green?”

“I see not-quite-dead people (My trip to the nursing home)”

“Is it true that drinking too much lighter fluid causes cavities?”

“Further reflection upon the nature of Hillary’s posterior”

“Anti-gun lobbyists & white-tail deer: partners in crime?”

“My most embarrassing sex act with an underage chipmunk”

“Who here wants some of my extra Preperation H?”

“Sometimes I just don’t understand Italian Neo-realism”

“That clerk at the 7-11 really had refreshing breath!”

“How Fluffy went to a better place (snowblower accident)”

17

ROTFLMAO!!!
As soon as my printer is working, I’m making a hard copy of this thread!!!
Too funny.

18

Goddammit! Don’t tell me how much Coke I need! Besides, any idiot knows the best value meal is the Burger King Italian Chick’n Crisp value meal for $2.99…AMERICAN! :wink:

Oh, and by the way, ROFLMAO! This thread had me in TEARS!

I don’t see how I can possibly top those, but I’ll give it a try…

“Why do they call it “stalking” when I just really, really love him?”

Now there’s nothing unexpected about the water giving out; “Land” is not a word we have to shout.

19

Soupy Sales-The Fifth Monkee?

Is Krispy Original Really slythe??

I’m Thinking Of A Number…

Why Does It Hurt When I Do This?

What Happened To The Rest Of This Threa

Why Aren’t Manhole Covers 17-Sided, Chocolate-Covered, And Available in 6 Assorted Colors At Your Neighborhood Sex Shop?

Test Your HTML Here!

Arsenic-The Misunderstood Herb

20

“Legal Question: If she’s passed out, she’s willing, right?”

“Favorite Images I’ve seen in my bowel movements”

“Hey Ed, fuck you and your new rules too”

“Reasons Marilyn vos Savant is smarter than Cecil”

“Anyone else have a nose hair collection?”

“What’s the best way to explain to GF about a light bulb in your rectum?”

“Fantasy Island: fiction or documentary?”