“I am going to wrap my dick around your neck and start you like a goddamn lawn mower.”
“I am going to yank the teeth out of your shattered skull and make a necklace out of them to give to the sons I father on your widow.”
“I am going to flay you alive and use your skin to make a condom to fuck your mother.”
“I am going to stab you in the heart with a swordfish.”
“I am going to take your mother out for a nice seafood dinner, and then NEVER CALL HER AGAIN!” (credit to Anchorman)
“I am going to shove a red-hot cactus up your nose.” (Credit to Weird Al)
“I am going to shove raw sausages down your throat and starving dogs up your ass.”
“I am going to shit my fury on you until you drown in it.”
“I will raze your cities, sow your fields with salt, and dance in the ruins of your shattered temples.”
“I will kill myself. And when my tainted spirit finds its destination, I will topple the master of that dark place. From my black throne, I will lash together a machine of bone and blood, and fueled by my hatred for you this fear engine will bore a hole between this world and that one. When it begins, you will hear the sound of children screaming - as though from a great distance. A smoking orb of nothing will grow above your bed, and from it will emerge a thousand starving crows. As I slip through the widening maw in my new form, you will catch only a glimpse of my radiance before you are incinerated. Then, as tears of bubbling pitch stream down my face, my dark work will begin. I will open one of my six mouths, and I will sing the song that ends the Earth.” (Credit to Penny Arcade)
Fear me, for I know CPR. I will kill you, bring you back to life, then kill you again…and the second time you die you will know exactly what awaits you.
hopefully you make one more move on me you motherfucker I’ll fuckin’ cut your fuckin’ balls off I’ll shove them up your fuckin’ ass, I’ll fuckin’ bury you, I’ll put fuckin’ ice picks in your eyes, I’ll chop your fuckin’ eyeballs, I’ll send them to your fuckin’ family so they can eat 'em for dessert. You understand me?
The DI in Full Metal Jacket “I will gouge out your eyes and skullfuck you!”
“I’ve got pieces of guys like you in my stool.” Sinatra maybe? For some reason I always thought it was related to The Rat Pack but I could easily be wrong.
“No – To The Pain! I’ll explain, and I’ll use small words so that you’ll be sure to understand, you warthog-faced buffoon. To The Pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye, followed by your right. Your ears you keep, and I’ll tell you why: so that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out ‘DEAR GOD WHAT IS THAT THING?’ will echo in your perfect ears. That is what To The Pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.” – Westley, to Prince Humperdink, in The Princess Bride.
I saw/heard that one as Phil Hartman parody of Sinatra, upbraiding Sting parody of Billy Idol, on Saturay Night Live sketch *The Sinatra Group *(parody of The McLaughlin Group).
Belkar Bitterleaf has made some memorable threats;
“I am going to shove the sunshine so far up where the sun don’t shine that you will vomit nothing but warm summer days!”
“I’m going to knock you so far down into negative hit points, you’re going to come back around to positives, and yes I know that doesn’t make any sense!”
“Back me up and I’ll cut a path through these guys…Wait did I say “path”? I mean a five-lane blacktop highway with a two-lane service road - and I’m packin’ a fistful of tokens and a radar detector!”
“Keep the money. Use it to buy a funeral. It doesn’t matter where you go or how far you fly. I will hunt you down, and the last thing you see will be my blade.” (which immediately turns out to be an empty threat)
“You know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I go get and beat you with ‘til ya understand who’s in ruttin’ command here.”
(Re: Reavers)“If they take the ship, they’ll rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our skins into their clothing. And if we’re very, very lucky, they’ll do it in that order.”