Three-Item Purchase

BBQ Sauce, twisty ties, disposable camera

Whip cream, chocolate sauce, feather duster.

A case of wine, band aids and a can of fix-a-flat

Extension cord, rubber gloves, and goldfish food

Bird seed, hammer, stuffing mix

A hose, lighter fluid, and exlax.

Tampax, chick flick and chocolate.

I actually did this earlier today, didn’t even realize until the cashier pointed it out. I wasn’t sure which was funnier, the combination itself, or that she actually pointed out the humor to my oblivious self.

1 lb. liver, rubber bands, honey

Large cucumber, lube, a “Happy Fathers’ Day” card

Hairspray, matches, lighter fluid

small bag of flour, medium bag of flour, large bag of flour

turkey baster, drain cleaner, duct tape

Soft rope, clothes pegs, feather duster

Hoop-style earrings, jumper cables, aloe vera plant.

Roofing tar, goose-down pillow, 15-foot rope.

In honor of the Fourth:

Sparklers, muzzle, duct tape

{aside]

Just what is it about duct tape that makes it so…so…sinister?

{/aside]

I don’t know Lockseer, maybe it’s because duct tape has so many different uses. You can fix just about anything with it [at least if you ask any man I’ve ever met] and at the same time, you can use it to keep your mother-in-law bound and gagged in the basement. The wide variety of uses just makes it all the more suspicious. With that in mind, how about:

Duct tape, sleeping pills and a bottle of wine

I like that one - they have to be the same brand and type though.

How about:

Hammer, nails, flatfish.

Velveeta, an egg beater, and a set of mini blinds.

In honor of this thread http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=195331 I would have to say.
A watemelon, Christmas lights, and a case of batteries

cyanide tablets, kool-aid and an bible

Turkey baster, sleeping pills, coloring book

Ducks and covers

My ex has this one nailed. He shows up at his girlfriend’s new job (teller at local grocery) with his best friend. Grabs lifetime supply of condoms, and 2 quarts of 10W30wt motor oil. Goes to her checkstand, where she is being trained by the manager. Leers, pays, and says “Pick you up after work. Don’t be late.”

Footlocker, air freshener, tarp

Cooler, bag of ice, hacksaw

pet hamster, multi-pack of mousetrap, stopwatch

Garlic bread, bamboo skewers, sunscreen

I assume this is the non-threatening brand of cyanide?