Ew. Let’s hope not.
To me, you’ve always been thatguyIreallylikeeventhoughhe’saconservative, but that’s a little long. Lessee. IIRC, you’re a Jersey Italian…okay, way too many Johnny Dangerously jokes… I got nothin. Jersey Jim works.
You could call yourself “Luxury Yacht” and you’re location or sig could be “Pronounced ‘Throat Warbler Mangrove’.”
Or:
Lord Jim of Franchi
Elf Jerseyan
Of course I think Jersey Jim is rather good too.
I’m really not a conservative.
I’m Green, I’m 100% pro-choice, though somewhat personnally against, I’m very anti-prejudice, very anti-Bush & Cheney, but Pro-military, Heck, I’m even Pro-gun regulation, No self respecting righty would count me in their number. I’m a moderate with strong views to either side of the political spectrum. I am still a republican but just barely. God, I voted for the hyper lib Kerry just to try and boot Bush out. I actually liked the Clinton policies, of course he was a moderate Dem and not a liberal Dem.
Jim
Hmm… Personally quite conservative yet driven to the left by an unjust regime? What kind of person do you suppose you’d be if you were in late 18th-century France? And what are you wearing?
SANS-CULOTTES! SANS-CULOTTES!
Nothing beats CarFullOfScaryClowns, for my money.
Long ago, monks were called Fra (brother.) There’s a hazelnut liqueur called Frangelico, after the monk that supposedly invented it, Fra Angelico.
Move to Canada. You’d fit right in here among the right-wing small-g greens. 
Back to the subject of the OP: how about…
Elf-Friend
Lembas
Radagastian?
I like Jim of the Shire too.
Given your interests and background (and a dash of my own whimsy), may I suggest:
**Jim Dandy
Jethro Q. Walrustitty
Ole Ftang Ftang Biscuitbarrel
Garden Stater
Imladris Denizen
Into the West
Cirdan the Shipwright
Corsair of Umbar
Hadley V. Baxendale
Anchors Aweigh
Navy Blue
Shire-Reeve
The Old Took
**
Explanations available for any or all, upon request. Good luck!
If my country which I love, elects Jeb Bush, I might move to Canada for my family, but I should stay and continue the “resistance”. 
Elf-Friend has a nice double meaning, My wifes nickname is Elf and of course it covers a Hobbit who is friend to the Elves. I like **Radagastian ** a lot also.
**Jethro Q. Walrustitty → What is this one?
Ole Ftang Ftang Biscuitbarrel Monty Python Reference?
Imladris Denizen * I like this one *
Hadley V. Baxendale → What is this one?
The Old Took → Maybe in another 20 years this would be great **
I will definately add
Jim Elf-Friend to the list
maybe **Radagastian **
maybe **Imladris Denizen **
Jim
**Schroedinger’s Gerbil
The History of Toothpicks
Reverend Jim
Laugh while you can Monkey Boy!
I Poke Badgers With Spoons
Hedgehogs Revolt
Toasters Through The Ages
Not Your Dad’s Oldsmobile
I’m not a dork
Harry A. Nus ** Which is my neighbors screen name on some other board out there.
**I Laughed. I Cried. Two Thumbs Up!
I Throw Like A Girl!
Mr. Poopyhead
I Chut the Ceese.
The Other White Meat.**
I’ll think of more the second I hit submit.
*Jethro Q. Walrustitty → What is this one? *
A candidate for Parliament in a “Monty Python” skit.
*Ole Ftang Ftang Biscuitbarrel - Monty Python Reference? *
Yes, also an MP candidate, from the same skit.
*Imladris Denizen - I like this one *
Thought you might…
*Hadley V. Baxendale → What is this one? *
A famous old contracts case (“Hadley versus Baxendale”)
*The Old Took → Maybe in another 20 years this would be great *
Why not get an early start?
Here are some other possibilities:
Jim from Joisey
Joisey Jim
Monmouth Man
Jim Lad
And some more Tolkienesque prospects:
Olorin
Tharkun
Mithrandir
Elrond’s Long-term Houseguest
Anduril Wielder
Gondorian Ranger
Ranger of Gondor
Dunedain
The Dunedain
Prince of Ithilien
Steward of Gondor
I also came up with these (new! improved!) coinages in Sindarin:
Tarcir - “lord of ships”
Belethol - “great helm”
Aredecir - “royal ship”
Elargost - literally, “star royal fortress”
Arthor - “royal eagle” (maybe, in devising the roots “ar” and “thor,” Tolkien was making an in-joke about, or homage to, King Arthur?)
Thoroncir - “eagle ship”
Arvagor - “royal swordsman”
Narthoniel - “fire kindler”
Arnimalad - “royal tree white”
That should do for now…
What would “Royal Star Fortress” be?
Arelgost
Ar is Royal as in Ar-Pharzon
El is Star as in Elendil
Gost is fortress as in Belegost
On further reflection…
Flame of Udun - since you like Balrogs (as much as anyone can “like” Balrogs!). Maybe you can figure out how to do the little upside-down “v” over the “u.”
…and on the Hobbit front:
Thain of the Shire
Bucca of the Marsh
Hamfast
Tolman Gardner
Son of Drogo
Master of Buckland
From this post, how about CGI Mucus?
Well, if you posted to GD a lot, you could go with …
Always Right
I Win
Did Not Mention Hitler
But CS, huh? Let’s try …
Read It In The Stars
Pop Culture Stud
TV Is Good To Me
That’s all I got for now.
I decided going through some of your posts might help, and after reading them, I have to say it’s absolutely annoying how likeable you are. 
I am now of the firm belief you should take Flying Spaghetti Monster as your own. You introduced me to it, and I have an FSM decal on my car because of you.
No, no, no. You can’t have someone actually be the FSM, that ruins the mystique. How about Flying Spaghetti Monster Acolyte?
Well, that works, too. Or maybe Prophet of the FSM. Something appropriately lofty. Also the title of one thread kinda tickled me: Alpha Centauri Pronto. But that’s probably just because the benadryl I’m taking makes everything funny. Italian Hosebeast; good double entendre, even though Jim is anything but a hosebeast.
Hey, Maureen, let me know any time you want a “good double entendre”, and I’ll give it to you.
Sorry, can’t help myself …