Not worth an ATMB thread but I entirely disagree that I was either out of line or that I was bashing panaccione.
These posts do not exist in a vacuum. Panaccione was the only person giving ETV enabling advice and it was appropriate to point out to ETV that the advice he was getting was from someone with similar Facebook angst/boundary issues as himself.
I will however apologize to panaccione for the snarky tone of my post.
That all said, note taken. I’ll bow out of this thread now.
Lost love is a serious regret for a lot of people, yes. But it’s not ‘lost love’ when you have a long-standing crush/fixation on someone you’ve never dated, and don’t know very well (or haven’t known for years). That shit is all in your head, and it’s weird and unhealthy. Usually, it causes people who indulge in it, a lot of unnecessary angst - over what is essentially your imagination. Nothing to do with the living, breathing, flawed individual with their own complex life, who you’re fixation on even though you know almost nothing about them.
I can sympathize with both sides here, since I’ve been on the receiving end of it from men, as a woman. And as someone who is shy and often socially awkward with people I am interested in, and who doesn’t find very many people interesting, I think I’ve felt similarly when I’ve had crushes on people who I don’t know that well. I’m thankful I snap out of it relatively quickly, though. Not to say I don’t stalk some former crushes on Facebook, and still find them attractive. But I don’t ever let it make me feel bad - and if it does, like with my recent breakup, I dobt indulge in it. I took him out of my Newsweek and committed to not looking at anything to do with him, and it really helped.
Well, this is what I was coming in to say. Equating “lost love” with “person I used to know in passing, with whom I never had a romantic relationship” is … not reality-based thinking.
Except a one-sided crush that the OP never acted on isn’t love, therefore nothing was lost.
Ok, point taken. However, let’s not forget that his emotions are quite normal.
Here is another list of the top 5 regrets people have.
I see this in a lot of different articles about regrets. I wish I’d been more social, I wish I’d been more brave, etc…
The weirdest thing here is how personally you’re taking her engagement. That means she’s been dating this guy already, likely for a really long time. Why do you torture yourself fantasizing about a girl you didn’t even know was available? Get counseling.
I’m sad no one else locked on to this one, because this is totally drunk me.
“I wonder where she is now…”
For reference: She got married, got divorced, and picked up tae-kwon-do. And yes… she’s still hot. … I hate her.