I’m not as think as you drunk I am!
I have a friend named Paul Schumacher and we used to call him Shawl Poomacher all the time. In college I spotted him down a long hall and intended to shout, Hey Shawl Poomacher! and instead, I hollered his name. A backwards spoonerism, made all the more embarrassing that I didn’t really realize I’d said his name correctly until it was all the way out, and there was no good reason for me to be hollering his full name down an empty hallway.
Well, it was funny and embarrassing at the time. :rolleyes:
cunning stunts…
I don’t know if it’s a spoonerism or not, but I consistently say “Law and Order SUV” instead of “SVU”. I say a lot of things backwards, like speech dyslexia or something… of course I can’t think of any now… no, I am not blonde!
My roommate my freshman year was Hunt Cooper.
The difference between a bad marksman and a constipated owl:
One shoots and shoots and never hits.
A epileptic cornhusker and a prostitute with dysentery:
One shucks between fits.
A fighting rooster and shyster lawyer:
One clucks defiance.
But seriously folks, I had a friend who, when drunk, would hunger for “Tomestoon” pizza.
Dick Goddard, the Cleveland weatherman, made plenty. The best was when he was a cub reporter, doing a story about a charity fundraiser downtown at the Tower City Plaza Hotel.
“We’re here reporting live from the Sour Titty Hotel, with Sr. Mary…”
Cruddfuckers.
Not a complete spoonerism, I know, but when I said it to my 12-YO-brother we both laughed. Hard, even.
What’s the difference between :
A girl in a bath tub and a girl in church?
The girl in church has hope in her soul.
A pickpocket and a peeping Tom?
The pickpocket snatches watches.
A building next to where I work is called Howell Hall.
For years, I’ve been tempted to go there on a dark night and drop my drawers in front of it just so I could say I once mooned at the Howell.
My dad (a vulgar, vulgar man) always said he was going to go “shake a tower.”
When my son is sad, I tell him to “come over here and get your pits tickled”. One day I accidently said, “Come over here and get your tits pickled”.