Max Carnage said, “But Ethel wouldn’t make Heythaler any funnier. Apparently we’re still missing something.”
Well SURE it would be funnier. All lispy and everything! Ethel Heythaler! Ethel Heythaler! Ethel Heythaler! It’s funny!
I know a Crystal Ball !
and a Dr. Paine, too
My grandfather went to school with a girl named Lotta Hiney.
And there is a family here with the last name, Peed.
I also know of a Ken Barbe (like Barbie). And a sister/brother duo named Kenneth and Barbara (Ken & Barbie are their nicknames).
My real name is Spring Rose. :rolleyes:
**Meezer ** When you were little, did they call you *shrub rose? * 
( I think it is a very pretty name!)
Now, if you would marry a man with the last name Cox.
Spring Rose Cox.
Hilarity ensues!
There are several members of the “Slutsky” family at my school, which often times gets a snicker (nice people, though).
Last year’s senior class also had:
Tamara Cummings.
Sean DaShow.
Lissy Febus
Constantine Tripolitis
There’s a Flower Grow at a nearby high school.
One of the teachers at my school just got married. She was going to hyphenate her last name, but decided that Ponto-Ferranto would be too much.
Ooh, I forgot a good one: a customer of mine who was named Lauryl Hardy.
OK, I’ve got a couple.
My brother went to high school with Rainbow Violet Wigley. His best friend had sisters…Amber Dawn and Autumn Fawn (they were twins).
My husband went to high school with the Morning family. Their daughters were Misty, Sunny, and Stormy.
My high school Latin teacher’s full name was William Aloysius Francis Gilmartin III. Then there was the history teacher, Mr. Twa (t).
Slightly different: Before I got married, my initials were LES. (I got called Lester a lot.) My brother’s are MES. I dated a guy in high school whose last name was Seidensticker (VERY German). My friends said that if I married him, I should hyphenate my last name. (LES-S) But my initals didn’t get any better when I got married…now they’re LEZ.
**This just in **
Autumn Bugg
Eons ago when I worked for BofA, one of our customers was Innocencia Conception.
Uh-huh…
Michael RammsBottom
Fardi Wardi (Pronounced Farty Warty)
Actress Jana Taylor (one “n”) appeared in the 1984 classic Dreamscape, in which she plays the attractive younger wife of older nebbish Larry Gelman (who keeps having nightmares that his brother is schtupping her).
There’s an accountant in town named D. Willie Weewee - it’s a hoot just to get his answering machine.
My cow-orker got his vasectomy from Dr. Grabb (ouch).
The cashier at 1 of my previous jobs always made me page this one customer when his bill was ready, because she couldn’t bring herself to announce Peter Puller over the PA.
And Pete Zadich (don’t pronounce the H) was another name she couldn’t get out over the PA, either.
I can’t believe no one has mentioned my favorite “What were they thinking?” name. Professional baseball player, Coco Crisp! 
My nickname in H.S. was “Tex”. Everyone loved to ask me where my coat was.
My name is Sean Wood. A girl i go to school with is name Autumn Rose. A girl that also goes to my school is chelsie bonar.
The saga of Tommy Anus:
I once knew an 11 yr old kid named Tommy who delivered newspapers on his bike and collected money every week. I usually paid cash, but one time I wrote him a check, so I said “Hey, Tommy, what’s your full name, so I can write it on the check?”
He answered “ANUS, Tommy L. Anus.”
I asked again, and he beamed his always innocent & cheerful smile, and said “Anus”.
So I said,“Tommy,uh,… how do you spell that”?
He answered “A-n-n-e-s.”
So I suggested, "Say, Tommy, don’t you pronounce that as if it rhymes with “bans”?
And he says, “no way, We’re the ANUS family.”
I often wonder whatever happened to him…
** How Shirley Adverted Disaster **
An acquaintance of mine was pregnant with her third child.
Her first two are I swear to god Jack and Jillian.
Their last name is: Tait
She was having problems coming up with a name for the new baby, which they knew to be a girl.
My friend liked the name: Emma.
I instantly countered: Emma Tate. Imitate. I don’t think so.
Then we fell silent.
I said. " Wait, she could marry a chinese guy named chin and be
*Emma Tait - Chin. *"
They ended up naming her Maiya.
During my brief stint in retail, I once waited on a guy whose name, according to his credit card, was Bruce E. Fantaysia. Wanted desperately to ask if that was for real, but I didn’t.
Another time, I waited on a Liz Hurley, who looked nothing like the one you’re thinking of. Really nice lady though. (I also once waited on Sergei Samsonov, the hockey player, but there’s nothing inherently funny about that.)
I went to school with a Charlie Brown. When he got to high school, he changed his last name to Rivers, which IIRC was his mother’s maiden name. I think Brown was actually his stepfather’s name. He tried to insist that had ALWAYS been his name, but there were all those old yearbooks laying around. There was also an Asian girl, Eun-Mi, which when pronounced by us Americans came out something like “you & me.” And my mom had a teacher named Joan Jones.
One of my friends once dated a guy named Tedd Eton Bobb. Even though Bobb was his real last name - I used to tell him to be thankful they didn’t name him Shishka, his mom was kinda out-there - we always called him Tedd Bobb, like one of those Southern double first names.
And just to prove I can make fun of myself too… at the company I used to work for, I handled a lot of their Asian accounts, and one of my customers was named Dr. Ho. When he came to visit my office and I was going to meet him in person for the first time, it was a huge joke that if we fell in love and got married, I’d be Randi Ho. Didn’t happen though!