I pit your rancid farts and am pleased I can’t smell them.
I pit myself for buying the child brain destroying games (though I kinda want to play Sponge Bob on gameboy :D). I also encouraged grandparents to destroy his brain. Oh bad bad me.
Well I didn’t want you to feel alone Shirley 
Oh and on preview…I hate Lobsang cause he has a Terry’s choccy orange and I don’t!
[ul]
[li]I pit Lobsang because he has chocolate and no kitten. :)[/li][/ul]
Not just choccy! Yerry’s choccy orange! I don’t even like choccy but YUMMMMMMMMM that is good stuff!
Chocolate dipped kittens are not as yum 
If there was a way of sending chocolate through the internet…
If there was a way of sending kittens through the internet…
So Terry’s for me and chocolate dipped kittens for Shirley…sounds like a good deal to me
How perfectly typical of the weak-kneed English, with their utter lack of personal responsibility and the entreprenuerial spirit. Were you American, you would hustle right over to Lobsang’s house, crack him smartly about the head, and then you would have those orange choccys!
Yeah but then I would have to say happy holdays 
Though I dooooo feel like mugging Losang! That is seriously yummy choccy!
Hey, I’d hand the chocy over, don’t hurt me, and here’s a Flake Pralene bar too.
It’s all about the Terry’s orange! You can keep the rest…maybe I just hurt the one knee-cap.
Mugging Lobsang.
Sounds like a Broadway comedy.
I pit myself for turning 50 on Saturday. What do I have to show for 1/2 century of living. A crappy job, a two room apartment, and about 1,000 books and CDS.
I pit myself for spending too much money on Broadway.
I pit myself for losing my control over my appetite the past two years. I tells you, menopause is a BITCH.
I pit menopause.
I pit myself for never learning a foreign language, how to play a musical instrucment, or for travelling anywhere but to NYC.
The happy fact that there are those who wish you 50 more.
This is a rather bleak Christmas tradition. Ok, I put myself for being a right bastard at times, especially when I’m not getting enough sleep, and for waiting so long to go to the doctor about acid reflux, especially when the prilosec has made me feel much better. Oh, and I pit myself for backing out of the garage in a hurry and ripping off the passenger side mirror, and I pit myself for being such a dick over The White Stripes issue on this board.
On the other hand, it’s been been a pretty good year. So Merry Goddamned Christmas, and God Bless Us, Every Goddamned One Of Us.
For:
[ul]
[li]Inheriting being susceptible to periodontal disease from my dad.[/li][li]Not flossing more and grinding my teeth so I had to get new ones.[/li][li]Getting five teeth pulled 10 days before the holiday. What was I thinking?[/li][li]Breaking a tooth off my new partial plate one week later.[/li][li]Breaking another tooth off my new plate right after I got it fixed.[/li][li]Not wearing my new teeth because I’m afraid I’ll break them again and my dentist is on vacation until January 3.[/li][/ul]
I detect a theme there.
Also for:
[ul]
[li]Buying Vronica, the project car, for mr.stretch.[/li][li]Letting mr.stretch spend so much money on Vronica.[/li][li]Letting mr.stretch convince me to do the interior on Vronica, which took so much time and caused most of this:[/li][li]Putting off shopping for the out-of-town kids until the after Christmas sales.[/li][li]Buying the kids stuff when they decide to show up for Christmas after all. I should have made them wait![/li][li]Forgetting to buy stocking stuffers for the new grandbaby–what the hell do you get for a 15 week old baby for his stocking?[/li][li]Not sending out Christmas cards until four days before Christmas.[/li][/ul]
I pit myself for screwing up a silly geeky joke in the doper’s 12 days of Christmas thread. 11 = three in binary , doh!
I pit myself for being rather touchy lately. My self-esteem and confidence are at an all-time high, yet I make really marginal pit threads about the most mundane thing that annoys me. Its like when my life is going well, I run out of legitimate things to pit. 
I have no chocolate.
I do have kittens.
They aren’t litterbox trained yet, though, so that could be a problem.
I pit me for being really lazy and not exercising enough.
And for being so damned gloomy and whiny all the time.
But mostly I pit me for being miserable in a job I’m too much of a coward and/or greedy to quit.
I pit myself for only tipping the newspaper delivery girl $20. She deserved more. Through rain, sleet, snow or dread of night, my paper is always there on time. (OK, so it doesn’t sleet or snow that much here, but you get the picture)
I pit myself for not finishing the sickly-sweet love story that is to be delivered to a certain young lady on Christmas morning. Now I’ll certainly see the dawn’s early light while checking punctuation and trying to turn just one more phrase even more sickly-sweet. I further pit myself for posting in this thread instead of completing said task right now.
I pit myself for having more clear memories of New Year’s Eve mis-adventures than I do of Christmas mornings with family.
I pit myself for not listening to more Hank Williams Sr. music this past year.
I pit myself for opening political threads on the SDMB when I’m not really all that concerned with such.
I pit myself for not opening every one of Shirley Ujest’s threads, because they’re always a kick.
That should do for now…
[ul]
[li]I pit my pancreas for it’s failure to what other pancreas’s do[/li][li]I pit my right shoulder for it’s failure to do what other right shoulder’s do[/li][li]I pit my inability to pick the winning lotto numbers[/li][li]I pit myself for not being wealthy[/li][li]I pit myself for not being smart[/li][li]that’s pretty much it[/li][/ul]
I pit myself for:
[ul]
[li]Still taking part in Pit threads after I ordered myself to stay away from the Pit for at least two months. And I’m doing it again![/li][li]Not being able to stop smoking.[/li][li]Putting too much stock in what other people think of me.[/li][li]Doing a generally lousy job of getting Christmas gifts this year.[/li][/ul]