TMI: Have You Had Any Weird & Disturbing Sexual Dreams?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I was talking to a friend on e-mail recently and he honestly thought he was going crazy because he’d had some disturbing dreams of an incestuous nature. I told him that everybody has these (not necessarily the incest, but dreams about people and or objects that we would never in our waking lives harbor any sexual attraction for, repressed or latent or otherwise) and I told him a couple of mine:

—When I was in high school I had two (2)- um— productive- dreams about a girl in my class who, in addition to her gender being a strike against her in my particular orientation, was obnoxious, stupid, and ugly. Even if I were attracted to girls, I wouldn’t have been to her. I still don’t know why she appeared thusly (or at all- we were neither friends nor enemies in school.)

—I once had a dream in which I was making it with a TV character I wouldn’t ordinarily find attractive, and neither would anybody else. In fact I’ll tell-

Mr. Oleson from Little House on the Prairie

Again: WTF?

And of course I’ve had dreams of a sexual nature about friends and the occasional relative that made me wake up in a cold sweat. (I’ll admit I have a Johnny Depp-ish cousin I’ve always had a crush on, but otherwise, Alabama ancestry aside, my kinfolk don’t do it for me and my friends are just that.)

I also dreamed that I was in love with and married to a tree once, but I don’t remember anything about the physical side of the relationship being represented. It was a PG dream.

So have you ever had any particularly weird night visitors?

2

I’ve had dreams where I was doing the nasty with people I know - no relatives, but people who in my waking life I am not attracted to in any way, nor would I ever be. The bad part is when it’s someone you see every day and it’s just … eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeww. I know what YOU did last night!

3

I had a dream where I nearly had sex with some guy who looked a hell of a lot like my brother. I try to forget it. :slight_smile:

4

I have to say that for an old guy, Mr. Oleson had a hell of a body.

5

Memo to File

From: Plnnr, School Guidance Counselor

Re: Sampiro’s Possible Future Vocations

In light of certain dreams that Sampiro has related to me, I would strongly suggest that Sampiro be discouraged from taking shop or woodworking courses in the future.

Additionally, should Sampiro approach this office for guidance on possible vocations, I strongly suggest that he be discouraged from investigating possible employment in the sivicultural industry, lumber trades, furniture manufacturing, or any other industries where he could possbily come into contact with trees or lumber.

He should also be put on our watch list for students that may exhibit Druidic tendancies.

6

Ugh. I’ve had multiple sex dreams about my brother. :eek: :eek: :mad: I HATE those dreams, I always feel disgusting for a couple days afterwards. Fortunately, I haven’t had one in a while now. I’ve also had dreams involving various friends, and (once) a talking female dog. Also extremely ick! Plus multiple dreams where I had a penis. Those were much more enjoyable. “Oo, what’s this do?”

7

I distinctly recall my first nocturnal “event”… (Gah! I can’t believe the crap I tell you guys…)

It involved my friend’s kid sister. I was about 14 I think, and at the time she would have been maybe 9 or 10.

Her and I were kind of wrestling in her front yard, and we ended up kind of doing a mutually oral somersault thing where we were actually doing somersaults on the grass.

I woke up and felt like waking up a priest to confess.

8

I had a dream of a very intense sexual nature about professor I liked, but was never attracted to, which made me feel very awkward around him for a while, to the point where (I’m ashamed to say) I kind of stopped liking him so much.

I had a dream about having sex with my uncle (by blood, not marriage), which weirded me out for a while, but I have worshipped the ground he walked on since I was a little kid, and, objectively speaking, he’s pretty hot, so I guess it’s not as disturbing as it might be.

I commonly have dreams about male just-friends friends, and sometimes colleagues, especially guys who have a certain body type: taller than me, and kind of heavy, but more in a well-padded way than a flabby way. This, apparently, is what trips my biological triggers.

9

Check the posts by pinkfreud and Larry Mudd

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=329648

Now THAT’S disturbing.

10

erm, I’m 28 and I can’t even put into writing the type of “erotic” dream I had the other week. I would be put into a straight jacket, if not investigated by authorities if read.

It didn’t have anything to do with incest, animals, or minors, but the degree of… um… “wrongness” involved is almost indescribable.

It was half like I was watching a porn/horror movie… the problem is that at the same time, I was in the movie ---- ehhh, participating… thankfully, I don’t put much stock into dreams. . .

11

I have definitely had sexual dreams about relatives. Always very disturbing. I also had this really intense sexual dream when I was about 9 years old about a much older man with a dark beard, I think he was going down on me and then we had sex. I woke up not really sure what it was about, but pretty sure I wasn’t really old enough to be having those sorts of dreams. I also had a sexual dream about a birdcage when I was about the same age. I can’t remember if I was in the cage or what. Why was it sexual? I have no frickin idea. But it definitely was.

12

Threads like this make me really, really glad I don’t have sex dreams. shudders (Or if I do, I never remember them when I wake up.)

13

I’ve had a handful of dreams over the years where I was giving head to my brother. The details of the act are very clear to me, both seeing and feeling. This makes me scratch my head, since I have never had a penis in my mouth, much less my throat, but I come away with the definite impression of what it’s like.

One theme that makes me angry when I wake is dreaming about a friend of mine from several years ago, and from before I got married. I was deeply infatuated with her, and too blind to see that she did not reciprocate, nor was she likely the person I had in my head that went by the same name. 15 years later, I dream of her in all flavors: shared activity, romantic, and sexual. I believe myself to be the happiest I’ve ever been in my life, thanks to my marriage, and get somewhat pissed off at my subconscious for tossing up this fantasy, time and again, which turned out to be a painful embarrassment and disappointment to me in real life.

Although I haven’t seen her in around 3 decades, I can still quite clearly see the face of the girl (as I saw her in the dream) that starred in my very first erotic dream.

14

Two words: Gene Simmons.
One more word: Eeeuurgh.
That is all I will say on the subject.

15

The most disturbing dream I’ve ever had, sexual or no, was the one where I was actively trying to seduce my father and he kept rejecting my advances.

16

I’ve had sexual dreams about getting it on with one girl or another in high school.
Of course I never did in real life, so the dreams might be some sort of release.
BTW in the dreams I was the same age as the “victim”
(waiting for the jokes about “release”) :slight_smile:

17

Probably the most disturbing was when I was kissing my father. shudder

But most recently I had one where I was kissing–then have sex with–my coworker. Now I suppose she’s nominally attractive, but because of our working relationship, this seems wronger than kissing my father. And this coming from a guy that wants to boink half of his coworkers.

18

In one of my weird and disturbingly sexual dreams, I went to school butt naked. I was walking down the hall and everyone was staring at me. Then, I grabbed one of my friends (who’s a guy) and started making out and Frenching him. I have never Frenched or made out with anyone. Then, he started touching me everywhere and I mean everywhere. Oh, God, I woke up, went to school and avoided the guy for a couple of days.

19

Yeah, a couple of incest dreams. They were nightmares, really. In the logic of the dreams, I’d been tricked into it somehow, and the sex served some obscure purpose. It wasn’t for gratification. Horrible, horrible dreams. Ick.

I also used to have guilty, uncomfortable dreams about a friend. The thing is, this woman actually typifies my ideal of a perfect woman – and she was the girlfriend of a guy I was friends with for decades. Worse, he was a total jerk to her – but still a friend. Worse still, he continually insinuated that there was (or perhaps should be) something between us.

The one I remember best, we were in a nice clawfoot bathtub, in a candlelit room. Great! Except that all of our friends (including her boyfriend) were sitting on benches around the tub. We were just hangin’ out, you see. The woman and I were facing each other in the tub. It was nice and relaxing, apart from the audience, which made me feel a little conspicuous, for some reason. It didn’t bother her, though. She fell asleep in the tub, and as she slipped into unconsciousness, she slid down and towards me, until only her head was above the water. This was especially awkward, because as she slid down, her cootchie slid, with absolutely no resistance, onto the (entirely passive) index and second fingers of my left hand. This put me in a bit of a jam, because I knew that if I moved my hand at all, she was certain to wake up and think that I was taking advantage of her while she slept. At the same time, I knew that I couldn’t keep up the casual banter with everyone else in the room for very long before they noticed a) my fingers in the pie, or b) the tremendous hard-on that I had. I woke up when my friend raised his eyebrow at me, as everyone else chit-chatted. He knew, all right.

Progressing from nightmarish, through erotic but guilty, to uninhibited fuck-dreams:

I used to frequently have wild sex dreams involving a co-worker that I worked closely with every day. The sex was awesome. The weird and disturbing bit came from how utterly unattractive I found this woman when I was awake. Physically, she was painfully skinny, horse-faced, greasy-haired, and had bad teeth and truly horrible breath. Her personality was worse: She was petty, vindictive, egotistical, and an unapologetic racist. But those dreams – man. What a firebrand.

20

Could it have ended with the punchline, “The Aristocrats!”?