An unlit candle.
this doesn’t sound right. the blades should be removable for cleaning.
I made a perfect score the first time I tried that quiz. Comes of browsing sex toy sites rather more often than I probably should.
This made me howl with laughter. I’m not mocking you. It’s just I’m imagining someone saying this in a matter-of-fact voice.
The oddest things I ever used for masturbation were a large marker and a teddy bear. I thought the teddy bear’s beady little plastic eyes looked at me reproachfully ever after.
Groan.
Don’t mistake that for a groan of pleasure. It’s just groan.
Ah, but my digits are neither unusually odd nor interesting, so I didn’t think they merited comment.
Though I’ll grant that they were certainly integral to my derivative stimulation.
ducks
Erm… lessee, I’ve used a power drill, milk bottle (plastic, not glass, it was the only thing with a wide enough neck…), teddy bear (it had a hole, but cleaning the stuffing off was… less than fun), watersnake thing (not the animal, a toy thing that was like a latex water filled ring) I’ve also tried using various things for lube, shampoo, shower gel, toothpaste (NEVER AGAIN).
From my female friend; chairs, toilet seat, boxes, top of a chest of drawers, kitchen cupboards, shampoo bottles, desks, top of the TV cabinet, bookcases, stairs, banisters, and finally this thread.
POWER DRILL? Ouch.
Like many a young lad, I used to sit around, thinking Idle Thoughts…
The battery end, the spinning made it vibrate and the battery was warm, I wasn’t trying foreskin piercing, no, that’s another story.
I used to frequently use bananas when I was a young teen, and the end of a hairbrush (which was too thin), etc. By the time I was de-virginalized I was pretty much not physically a virgin.
I was a masturbating junkie, btw, and I don’t mind saying I think it kept me from having sex until I was almost 19.
Quoth Indygrrl:
Could it be the next step after problems with abstinence education? I think it could cut a lot of the problems with teenage rebellion right down if they were all too busy in their rooms…
If the wacky right got hold of this thread though, I think a more likely educational impact would be banning shop class! 
Dang it, Indygrrl, I try not to think dirty thoughts while I’m surfin’ the Dope, but this statement, in conjuction with the pics you sort-of-posted in that other thread, has officially fried my brain.
…and that brings me to my answer for this thread, which is: this thread. Dopers are a seriously good-looking bunch o’ people.
Now if you’ll excuse me for a moment… 
Ahhh, I must wax nostalgic ( snort ) and remind you that the candleshoppe owner in Debbie Does Dallas was named “Mr. Hardwick”
:eek:
Cartooniverse, who has been going steady with the AstroGlide corporation for more than 7 years.
( oh god. the things you type out on a message board… )
A tennis ball.
Don’t ask.
[sub]I can’t believe I just posted to this thread.[/sub]
Dear God. I learn something new every day.
My favorite masturbatory device was the girl next door.
A cheese grater.
No, seriously… I got hungry in the middle, took a break to make a quesadilla, and went back to business with more energy from a full stomach! What were you thinking I was doing with that cheese grater?
What grit sandpaper did you use? :rolleyes: 
This is pretty much my experience, and I’m very glad it did.
ahh, i used an outside hot tub when i was about 15 in utah while on vacation. My traveling companion’s older sister came out to get me to eat, and she wondered what was floating in the the hot tub. I acted freaked out and left…she knew exacly what it was!
i’m a dude. let’s all remember that forever.