Cry, scream, rant all you want now – you deserve it. You deserve as many pints of Haagen Dazs with topped with crushed up Oreos as you can eat without getting sick. And take some comfort that eventually you’ll look back on all this with simple relief that it ended as quickly and painlessly as it did.
(Yeah, I know, quick and painless doesn’t describe it now).
And, be secure in the knowledge that Dopers all over the world are putting their hopes and dreams into your wish that your husbands balls fall off. If I wasn’t one of those SDMB skeptics - I’d help pray for it.
My ex is in the navy, after september 11th- he told me he had to be on watch everyday because they were ordered to from the higher ups- He got dressed every day, full uniform and left for 12 hours. I thought he had to. When It came time for us to Leave maine- we were supposed to be going to italy, and then for some odd reason he was hell bent on changing them to virginia, I found out today thats because thats where his new woman is stationed I never saw it coming. I have seen her before once, but I never thought he was seeing her, he told me the kid( who I have also seen) was his fucking little cousin. What a bastard, he should have told me the truth. Needless to say he admitted to lying about being on watch 7 days a week.
Oh, love, I am so sorry to hear you are having to go through this.
I wish there were something I can do besides lending an ear to help you.
Can’t they both get in big trouble with the military for adultry? I thought that was a big no-no?
IM me if you need to chat. I’m on AIM, Yahoo, and MSN more than my ICQ anymore. They should all be in my profile. I’m on at all kinds of odd hours in case you are having a sleepless night or such.
What can I do? Can I just walk up to their commanding officcer and say hey just htought you should know my husband cheated on me, and with someone in his section? I wish I could get him in trouble.
What a pig that man (and I use the term VERY loosely) is! I’m sorry he put you through so much crap; but the folks here are correct - it WILL come back and bite him in the ass one day.
Depending on his rank and the rank of the woman he’s involved with, you might be able to nail him for improper conduct with a superior/subordinate. Check out this summary of the Navy’s fraternization policy, and the full text of that policy. You might also be able to get him busted for adultery as per this policy summary - this is much more likely if the child can be proven to be his and the child was conceived during the time you were married to him.
Well you could go after him since he and his new woman are both in the navy. I guess that would be up to you, are you willing to put up with all the pain and hassle it will take? Would it make you feel any better?
Do what makes your life better and what you can live with. Revenge leaves a bitter taste and often just puts people on the same level as the ones they seek revenge on. I truly do wish you the very best.
As a former Navy man myself yes you can walk up to the CO and tell him just exactly that and his ass is in BIG trouble. Trouble as in his ass is probably out of the Navy especially if she is subordinate. Come to think of it it really doesn’t matter they are both in deep shit either way. Keep us informed of what you do.
Wow, Deadly Nightlight, it just gets worse and worse! He actually used the September 11th attacks as an excuse to be away so he could cheat on you and father another woman’s baby?!?!?!?!?!? Fuck, that makes me mad. Next you’ll be telling us he hunts endangered species and gives poison candy to children in his spare time.
You know, when someone breaks the rules, and you inform the authorities, I don’t see it as “revenge”, necessarily. My ex had an ex of her own who collected disability payments for like five years while he continued to work for a friend - hard, physical labor - and get paid for it off the books tax free. I asked her “Why don’t you report his ass?” and she said she didn’t want to, because she didn’t believe in revenge, and he’ll get his in karma, and all that.
But meanwhile, he’s evading income tax, which is a crime in itself, but he’s also collecting free money that’s meant for disabled people! How can you consider it petty or vengeful to say “I’m not going to allow this injustice to continue” and report him to the proper authorities?
Do what you want, but I don’t think there’s any bad karma in reporting him to his CO (as long as you don’t cheat on somebody in the future ;))
I think you need to look at what you need to get out of the situation. If reporting him and possibly screwing things up for him will make you feel better in the long run, do it. If not reporting him and just walking away from the whole mess would make you feel better, then do that. I would suggest talking to a counsellor - he messed with you good. People who don’t lie, cheat and steal are usually easy marks for the jerks in the world who do.
I like that one! I hope you don’t mind if I forget to attribute it to you when I use it.
Better than that…you’ve now lost an additional 200 lbs of unwanted fat(head).
Rhode Island?
Here’s a suggestion for you, if you’re in a vindictive mood. Mail a copy of his sperm count test results to someone on his ship who doesn’t like him. He’ll be so happy to be trapped on a ship with that information floating around. Make sure in has the word IMPOTENT stamped across it in big red letters.
Davebear: I was in Maine- I knwo there are people in maine who think its not remote, but when we moved there we had to go through overseas procedures instead of domestic, because of how remote the base was.
Actually, before reporting him, if I were you I’d find out what kind of benefits YOU might be likely to lose if he gets kicked out. Depending on the length of your marriage, you may be able to still get some of his benefits - for instance, in a marriage of 10 years or longer, an ex can be entitled to a portion of a military member’s pension when he or she retires from the service (which requires a minimum of 20 years of creditable service).
Know your rights and think about what will do you the most good in the long run.
(And, you weren’t at Rangeley in Maine, were you?)
Nope, we were in Winter Harbor. I am not getting any benifits now, all he is doing is paying off the car. I had a lawyer but he told me that if I didn’t do the divorce his way, he would freeze any money he gave me until we went to court, and Being here, still looking for a job, I could not afford that. For what ever reason I did not qualify for legal aide here, so that left me hanging.
I never saw it coming. I have seen her before once, but I never thought he was seeing her, he told me the kid( who I have also seen) was his fucking little cousin. What a bastard, he should have told me the truth. Needless to say he admitted to lying about being on watch 7 days a week.