Dr. J,
I’m so sorry. I guess you at least know now who your friends are (or aren’t 
).
I’m only an hour away from you. Invite me over for pizza - especially homemade pizza - and I’d sure as hell show up. 
What ingrates!
Just watch out for your next party. One time me and my roomates planned a party, with about 30 people saying they would show up. three did, so we just played poker all night. Apparently the word got around that we had been really dissed, cause when we threw another party about three weeks later, we invited 15 people, and everybody from the first party showed up out of guilt, and brought their friends, so we hand about 60 people their, with food and beer for 18.
I wasn’t invited.
Once upon a time many years ago, I learned that a good rule of thumb for no-shows was about 10% or so. These days, it’s lucky if 10% bother to show at all. One coworker did beg off ahead of time by telling me “A better offer came up.” Yep, she used those very words.
It’s been a long time since we did any serious entertaining, and it’ll be a few years before we’re in a position again to do so. What are the chances of manners improving in the interim??
For the record, when I accept an invite, it takes a major Bad Thing to cause me to back out.
I wasn’t invited either, but I would have called to tell you that I couldn’t make it.
This really bothers me when a children’s party is at issue. I don’t know how many times I have given/gone to a child’s birthday party and found that 50% of those who RSVP’d didn’t show. If it’s my party, I can at least call the fuckers and read em the riot act, but it isn’t that easy when it’s your kid’s party.
What has happened to common courtesy? Doesn’t anyone have manners anymore?
The idea of this happening to me has been a paranoid fear of mine for my entire life…
…I’ve been to too many parties like this, and was throughly embarrassed for the host.
Hence, I’ve NEVER had a party. Invited people over, yes. But I carefully avoid the word “party”, because it arouses expectations in people’s minds and I don’t want to be the guy who invites 50 people and gets a total of 3 attendees.
Ah, DoctorJ, that sucks. Your fellow residents sound like 10 gallon asshats.
You shoulda invited dopers. We woulda come. 
I feel your pain. This happened to me when I had a party to celebrate my successful thesis defense; out of all the people I’d invited, maybe 8 showed up (about a 20% response rate). Several who had called me EARLIER THAT DAY to confirm tehir attendance didn’t show up. I had taken 2 days off work, partly to recover from the defense, and partly to clean/shop/cook like a maniac; I probably cooked half a dozen different things from scratch. Buy, was there a lot of leftover food!
It sucks, man. Can you freeze any of the leftover food? I still have booze left from that party, and it was nearly 2 years ago now. (I’m not much of a drinker.)
The same thing happened to me. Except it wasn’t a normal party. It was my wedding.
What assholes!
I say that letting each and every one of the six “Oh, I’ll definitely be there!” liars know what horrendously classless schmucks they truly are is not out of line.
I’d also read some of the 'maybe’s the riot act: You’re an asshole if you say, “I might be able to come” (not “It’ll be a happy surprise if I’m able to come, so don’t expect me”), then don’t call to let the party-giver know whether you’ll be in attendance. Barring, of course, a major, unforeseen problem.
I can’t wait to hear what you say/said to 'em.
Man that sucks. I feel for you; I’ve had this happen. I invited all my closest friends to a party once, and none of them showed. Exactly one of them called the same day, to say she couldn’t make it, because she just didn’t feel like coming.
I haven’t thrown a party since.
This is why I don’t have friends. Or, rather, I did have some years ago, but I knew this would happen if I ever threw a party so I killed them. Just being proactive.
I think the best option at this point is to call them and ask if they’re okay - sound very concerned: “When you didn’t show up I was worried something was wrong - are you ill? Did something else happen, God forbid?” (I know that when I skip out on a party, I dread this phone call, because it makes me feel so bad. Often I go just to avoid any possibility of it.)
They must be forced to pay for their evil deeds, and if guilt is the only way to get 'em, then guilt away, I say!
But I also must ask about the weather: many a party round these parts has failed to happen because everyone found the thought of leaving their house too unpleasant.
People are so fucking rude. This happened to my kid when he was three. I cried all day, even though he was too little to be bothered by it.
Fuckers. Kill them. All of them.
Something similar used to happen to me frequently with my kid’s birthday parties (which are a hellish event to get through in the best of times.) I’d get people who wouldn’t call to RSVP but would show up to the party–I guess they were figuring that they wouldn’t commit totally in case something better came along. Problem is, if you have your kid’s party at a place (bowling alley, Chuck E. Cheese…) you have to pay up front for a certain number of people and you really need to know who’s coming. Now I send out invites with the date and my phone number but I don’t tell them where the party is so if they are coming they have to RSVP.
So, DoctorJ, how did the salsa enemas go?
:mad:
This is why I’m eloping, man. But hey, at least the groom showed up at yours, and isn’t that what counts?
Seriously, I’ve heard more bridal horror stories than I care to count about how memories of people who RSVP’d and then failed to show up are what stick with you after your wedding.
As for the OP, I guess I’m one of the lucky ones, but that doesn’t ever stop the anxiety-riddled scenarios whirling through one’s head as party time nears, wherein you’re sitting there alone in your cardboard crown and feather boa, drowning your sorrows (goddammit, you made pie from scratch!) in a jug of margaritas (and the only company you get is a phone call from your mother).
When I was in grad school, I loved any excuse to host a get-together, but once, after a summer BBQ, several of my friends, most of whom had shown up (for this and all previous affairs at my place: the study groups, the 4th of July brunch, the slumber party . . . ) for some reason decided to confess to me that they’d considered ditching this one (various reasons, but mainly they were either sick of the same old faces or, in the case of newer friends, didn’t think they’d know anyone). They were telling me this by way of offering a compliment (i.e., “Gee, I didn’t really want to come, but I’m so glad I did!”), but it put the fear of Party Girl in me, and I stopped hosting parties, for fear that the next time would be The One Where Nobody Showed Up.
So I feel your pain, DoctorJ. What is with these people? I know that this was supposed to be a fun, casual affair, but have these people no social skills? Are they totally oblivious to the fact that you HAD to have gone to some trouble for this thing, cleaning, buying food/drinks, cooking? It doesn’t matter if each no-show thought that he/she would be the only no-show. If you SAY you’ll be there, then dammit, BE THERE, or have a damn good excuse (and a permanent limp wouldn’t hurt).
Grrrrrrrr.
That’s just plain fucked up. Can you find other friends to party with?
Revenge would I’m sure be nice, but I guess you have to work with these guys, so just let them know that not calling to say they are not coming is just not on.
If you ever feel they deserve a party again, get lots of them involved in the preparation, and keep tabs on them, that way they cann’t pull out without a good excuse. Get one to make the dips, get another to bring salad, another to bring cakes,… and keep tabs on them doing their jobs (ie phone up 3 hours before party, and ask if person was able to get the cakes, etc.) it should be cheaper for you and very difficult for anyone to avoid at the last minute.
Cheers, Bippy
My daughter invited several of her friends to Chuck E Cheese’s for her birthday. Now, we had some family members and toddler cousins show up, but only one of her friends.
As my daughter and her one friend are running like crazy kids high on sugar and pizza (oh, wait, strike the "like) she called out, “Ashley and Taylor are missing a great party!”
Whew. At least one childhood trauma averted.
Inspired! 
I really hate when crap like this happens. I had a party once - a going away party since I was leaving for basic training and had no idea when or if I’d ever live in Pennsylvania again.
I invited everyone I knew and only five people showed up. None of them were my closest friends.
It’s been close to three and a half years already, and when I speak to my friends on the phone they all say how much they miss be. Well great, you fucking assholes, why the hell didn’t you come to my Goddam party?
That was such a bad night. I got depressed, drank too much, made an ass of myself because I was so angry.
Fucking fuckers.