I know you guys don’t give a rat’s ass about your own goddamn cars, but MY fucking car is out there, as well as several of my coworkers, and we happen to have paid some good money for them and I don’t want to see even a hairline, miniscule, need-a-microscope-to-see-it scratch on my car because you failed-abortion sons of bitches can’t be bothered to walk the 50 feet to the field to play football. And when I take the time to collect myself, walk outside, and ask VERY NICELY for you to play in the field, since in the past ten minutes you’ve set off not ONE but TWO car alarms, and also bounced the fucking football off of someone else’s car hood, you goddamn idiotic jerkoff start ARGUING with me, you are nothing but a piece of pox-ridden, limp-dicked piece of dogshit on the bottom of my shoe. You look straight in my face and tell me that “we don’t hit cars” despite the evidence that happened not five minutes ago while I watched from my office window. Then I say “c’mon, guys, you can’t control where the ball goes all the time” you hand me the greasy, dirt covered Nerf football and tell me it’s just a Nerf and it’s not going to hurt anything. By this time even your buddies are looking ashamed and saying “c’mon, let’s go to the field” but no, you can’t just say “OK”, you have to argue with me more. I say “even a single piece of sand can scratch the paint” and you INSIST that your nerf football is as goddamn clean as if you had shit it out of your antiseptic rectum just this morning. So fine, call me bitch, because you can be sure to whatever shit-covered puss-filled thing you call holy that I will complain to high heaven every fucking time I see you out there. You’re just lucky that I happen to be a 5’7" female, and not a 6’5" big ol’ guy, cuz if I was I would surely be in your face until you shit big ones from pure fear whenever you even caught a whiff of me.
I work in a small office building that has a rectangular, covered garage. A couple of years ago we had very few tenants and I always parked in the back with maybe 1 or 2 other cars.
We had always had problems with skateboarders tearing down the ramps, but… one day I came out to go home and found some young teenage shits playing rollerblade hockey right by my car! Inconsiderate Dumbfucks! Hey, a hockey puck could do some real damage to a car…
I would have read the Riot Act to them then and there but I truly feared I would come out the next day and find my car vandalized. Anyway, I think they sensed my displeasure, because I never saw them again.
I know what you mean. I’ve been really reluctant to say anything to the little fuck who has been picking on my stepdaughter because I’m afraid of retaliation against our cars.
Not flaming here, because I understand completely where you’re coming from. But stop and think about that statement. In essence, you’re saying your cars are more important than your stepdaughter’s well-being.
On the one hand, it’s easy to say “Well, the kid’s not doing anything serious to my stepdaughter, and he could do major damage to the cars that would cost a lot of money.” On the other hand, what sort of message does this send to your stepdaughter? If she sees you as reluctant to stick up for her, that could cause even more problems. Not as obvious as damage to a car, perhaps, but much more costly – and not necessarily in monetary terms.
Now there’s an idea I can really latch on to. I wish I had thought of that. But then again, I didn’t really want to get into violence. I’ll let Mr. Athena, who very nicely offered to “come kick their asses”, take care of that end of things.
Well, you had me until you mentioned Nerf football and even a single piece of sand can scratch the paint". Aw come on.
As I recall, you just bought a BMW Z3, right? This is a car designed to be driven down windy, winding California coast roads at well above legal speeds. So unless you have Star Trek deflector technology, you’re eventually going to encounter grit and gravel at 80 mph. Either the paint can take it or it can’t. Either way, eventually your baby is gonna someday get dinged. My advice is to take a nail punch and put a little dent in the driver’s side front door yourself. Then you can stop worrying about it and get on with your life.
Now setting off the car alarms, that’s probably a hanging offense…
C’mon, Finagle, there’s a BIG difference between sand and grit that come up off the road, and someone purposefully doing something to hurt a car. One is unavoidable, the other is vandalism. And yes, I do take care that when I wash my car, I use a clean, wet cloth because I learned the hard way that a dry cloth with a few little pieces of sand can very easily scratch the finish.
A Nerf football, being tossed around, dropped in mud/sand, and bounced against the hood of my car could have scratched it. And no, I wouldn’t have broken down crying over it - the car has dings and scratches already. What bugs me is that these guys insist on playing in the middle of the parking lot, when there’s a HUUUUGE field right next to the lot where they could have played and not bothered anyone. Not to mention that I’ve also seen 'em out there with a bat and a softball, which would do even more damage.
I’m glad I never had such a pussy for a parent. What kind of coward allows some kid to terrorize their stepdaughter because their afraid some punk is going to key their car?
These fucking Ass Goblins Just Don’t Get It. People like that never will, and the picture of them throwing the football around is so stereotypical…never mind. Yes, I had the same thing happen, except it was with a real football, and I was alerted to it by a “THUNK” as it bounced off of my hood.
I am very small, and not going to go out and argue with testosterone-laden beer-swilling examples of Jockus Weekendus Americanis. So I took my Mini-14 out with me outside of its case, set it on the hood of the car, and casually started looking through the car for something.
They stopped playing, gathered in a little group talking and pointing over at me, and then walked about 3 houses down and continued the game. No muss, no fuss. Although I would have loved dearly to fire a .223 hole into their football next time it came into my yard…
I certainly hope so. On the other hand, I have learned not to underestimate the silliness of people on a message board.
Take Anthracite’s post for example. Its pretty funny. or disturbing. Haven’t decided which yet.
As for the whole football issue. When I was younger we used to play football, wiffleball, or street hockey, or whatever in parking lots all the time. Never really thought about the cars that much (other than old man McYellsalot is gonna be bullshit if we accidently hit his car). I guess at some point you go from being the kids playing ball and listening to loud music to old man McYellsalot and Cranky Miss. Keepstheballs).
I guess the point is, consider yourselves luck that the worst thing you have to worry about hapening to your car is having a nerf ball bouched off the hood. In some neighborhoods that THUNK is the sound of the striped frame hitting the ground as thieves drive off with the rest of your car.
Well, you be sure and let me know when you come to a firm decision. You could consider that I took my legally owned legal firearm and legally took it out to my car on my property without threatening anyone whatsoever, and thus was guilty of violating exactly 0 Federal, State, County, City, or Moral laws for that matter. But I think I see where this will end up already.
I do consider myself lucky. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to let people be assholes and damage my property. Comparisons like the one you used are not always valid - “Hey! Consider yourself lucky I only made a $500 dent in your hood. After all, you could be dying in a gutter in Bombay!” just is completely irrelevant to the issue.
And my example was a real football, not a Nerf one.
That’s great that your redneck state allows you to brandish a rifle around like a launatic. How about violating the laws of common sense?
I have nothing against guns, I just feel that people who hide behind them are either cowards or mentally unstable.
Kids playing football around your car? Let me get my gun.
Problems at work? I’ll just get my gun.
Girlfriend breaks up with you? Time to get my gun.
Do you see a pattern?
I don’t own a gun and I’m just an average size guy who has lived in all kinds of neighborhoods. I can’t think of a single situation where a brandishing a firearm would have been appropriate. The only time you should pull out a gun is when you fully intend to shoot something with it.
Once you bring out the gun and the other guy calls your bluff, your options now are to back down and look like a total pussy or start shooting and end up in pound-me-in-the-ass prison.
Who cares if it was made out of Nerf, pigskin, or titanium? The point is you need to relax and not get so worked up. There are plenty of people in jail for losing their temper over a silly argument.
You may not be aware of this, but for those of us who don’t live in the ‘Old West’, there are actual legal recourses if someone puts a $500 dent in you hood. You take them to small claims court (it’s like The Peoples Court, but it’s not on TV).
My appology to the rest of the thread for my slightly off topic post. I’m just sick of all these crack-pots who suddenly feel empowered by Colombine and now feel they can solve all their conflicts with a gun.